Devilish

"Come on!" 

Said the boy with the gorgeous looks and devilish smile.

"What could possibly go wrong?" 

- Everything, she thought. 

"Nothing" she blurted out, and went lost into her own world. 

"I've been trying to hold onto days," he said, "because sometimes the nights get too dark for me,

So," he said, once again, "come with me."

He was a living, breathing, dangerous poetry.

He was the only one that could rip my heart out of my beating chest and ignite a spark.

Then a flame.

We were the constellations, 

The stars that shine so brightly,

The moonlit sky in the darkest of nights. 

Not knowing what this dark night had to offer, 

She took his hand and felt the storm within her suddenly go quiet. 

"Ready?" 

Author's Note

Not my best piece. Just some words I had to get out of my head. Will edit it more in the future. x

Reviews

[Ardra]

He was the only one that could rip my heart out of my beating chest and ignite a spark.
Then a flame.

mmmmm before we know it we are walking the path of darkness, towards the edge of destruction is feels like , the storms waiting to unleash its fury on us, but we walk as if under the spells of the stars calling us to go on walk rite into the eye of the storm.... :)

i really liked this one ..

[Giulia King]

I'm happy you liked this one :) Thanks for reading

[Wesley Dingler]

Personally I think the best poetry is just like this... some words one has to get out of their head..

Keep up the good work my friend. Keep getting them out of your head.



Wes

[NotUsinganymore]

THis was interesting. I dont think I really understood it with my limited English.

[Giulia King]

Okay. Thank you for reading.

[Crosby Idasa]

this is nice... every line of it was good and interesting

[Giulia King]

Thank you for reading :)

[UN]

I loved the part where her thoughts and words were diametric opposites, even though she knew the risks she threw caution to the wind anyway.

[Giulia King]

I'm happy you loved it :)

[Island Hippy]

Aloha, this has an element of caution and seduction. The muse is all things to the ‘artist’. Knowingly we walk into the storm. Lovely innocence to your word choices and the image well suited. Mahalo, Izzy.

[Giulia King]

Thank you for reading, Izzy :))

[DoormanDan]

Pretty good for “Just some words I had to get out of my head”. I quite enjoyed the figurative language you used here, and the image at the bottom of the writing is quite fitting overall. My only recommendations are going through this for grammatical errors and whatnot. Things such as “ He was a living, breathing, dangerous poetry” should be “He was living, breathing, dangerous poetry.

Other than that, I have nothing to really criticize here. This piece isn’t striking any groundbreaking terrain in terms of lyricism, but you still manage to paint an atmosphere of love (perhaps young love is accurate?) and the strength it can give to people in the face of incoming hardship. Overall, great piece!!

[Giulia King]

Thank you for helping me out. Sorry for the delay, life kinda got in the way. I'm happy you liked this piece, Dan :)

[Crowley]

That angst and excitement of that one person that makes your heart swell and the position of going out on a limb with unbridled lust and adoration as justification. Oh those are the days. Loved this!!!

[Giulia King]

Thank you for reading! :) xo

[Paul Bell]

Now we need to know, did he rip her heart out.

[Giulia King]

I don't know.... did he? :)

[Zoya]

Devilish indeed. Certainly leaves me wanting for more. That picture though...really fetching.
Loved the write!

[Giulia King]

I'm happy you liked it! :) Thank you

[Fatima]

This really draws me in and you have a great structure put together really well.

[Giulia King]

Thank you, Fatima :) I really like your name.

[Fatima]

Awh thanks that's really sweet . Yours toox