Devilish

"Come on!" 

Said the boy with the gorgeous looks and devilish smile.

"What could possibly go wrong?" 

- Everything, she thought. 

"Nothing" she blurted out, and went lost into her own world. 

"I've been trying to hold onto days," he said, "because sometimes the nights get too dark for me,

So," he said, once again, "come with me."

He was a living, breathing, dangerous poetry.

He was the only one that could rip my heart out of my beating chest and ignite a spark.

Then a flame.

We were the constellations, 

The stars that shine so brightly,

The moonlit sky in the darkest of nights. 

Not knowing what this dark night had to offer, 

She took his hand and felt the storm within her suddenly go quiet. 

"Ready?" 

Author's Note

Not my best piece. Just some words I had to get out of my head. Will edit it more in the future. x

Reviews

[Ardra]

He was the only one that could rip my heart out of my beating chest and ignite a spark.
Then a flame.

mmmmm before we know it we are walking the path of darkness, towards the edge of destruction is feels like , the storms waiting to unleash its fury on us, but we walk as if under the spells of the stars calling us to go on walk rite into the eye of the storm.... :)

i really liked this one ..

[Giulia King]

I'm happy you liked this one :) Thanks for reading

[Nigel Newman]

Giullia Hi. This is actually quite arresting and interesting so don't knock yourself. For me, the last line, the last word, are a delight. The reader can take it wherever they wish - how will things develop? Tantalising.

I was a little unsure about the switch from 3rd person to 1st person then back to 3rd. (She/her then my/we then back to she/her). Either would work, but it was the switching I wasn't sure about. But the story shines through regardless.

Nice work! Nigel

[Giulia King]

Thank you for always putting in time and work into your reviews, Nigel. It means a lot to me and I like your thoughts here.

[Ted Kniffen]

Good one, Giulia, a love letter to your muse. How close we are to that mysterious personage that dwells within and cries to be released in the darkest moments.

[Giulia King]

Exactly, Ted! Thank you for reading :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the poem. I like the poetry with the positive ending. Thank you dear Giullia for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Giulia King]

Thank you so much, friend!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Giullia.

[emmajoy]

Not sure but - i see this as a woman being lured into a dubious situation.. but with only foot stepped forward! Your wording is cautious yet obviously already under the influenced by that creature with the' gorgeous looks' (such killers, those looks!) . As to the ending.. my oh - oh my - turn off thinking and go sit under the influence of lurve! The lull before the storm, methinks. :)

[Giulia King]

Yes! That's exactly the feeling I was going for. Thank you for reading, Emma :)

[KWP]

And in a single moment fear was dropped and everything gained - from the darkness he found a new kind of light - even if it was in amongst the darkness - great write well done X

[Giulia King]

Thank you so much :)

[.]

Reads just fine, Giullia. No need for an edit.

Describes very well that moment of indecision when seduced by the words of another we cross the threshold into an unknown realm; one of possible danger or possible delight.

And your final line sums up the piece perfectly, leaving the reader to make their own conclusions to her readiness.

Very nice work, Guillia. Well conceived.

[Giulia King]

Thank you so much, Doodley! Merry Christmas :)

[.]

Merry Christmas, to you, too, Giullia.

[wordman]

lol,you wrote a poem about me,,lol
it is a beautiful poem of love and feelings

[Giulia King]

Lol! Happy you can relate. Thank you so much :)

[Mavericks]

Beautiful Piece, Guillia. I bet, he is your Soul mate. Don't let him go. =)

[Giulia King]

Many thanks, Roy! :))

[Kibbles and Quips]

Beautiful, as always. I really enjoyed your imagery. If I may say something, though; the lines,

"I've been trying to hold onto days because sometimes the nights get too dark for me,
so, come with me" he said once again.

I believe the dialogue signifier should not be at the end, as it creates confusion for the reader as of whom is speaking. I don't think it'd fit well at the start of the line, though. Perhaps something like,

"I've been trying to hold onto days," he said, "because sometimes the nights get too dark for me,
so," he said, once again, "come with me."

Just an idea, though! Thought I might share it.

Anywho, thanks for sharing the poem. I always enjoy your work.

[Giulia King]

Hey, thank you so much for really taking your time with this review and for helping me. I appreciate it. As I wrote on my "Author's note" these were just words that I had to write out and publish. I didn't really think about the edit or grammar lol. But your version is good and I'll edit it right away. Thank you again :)

[Kibbles and Quips]

No problem! I am happy you found my feedback helpful! And, one small thing on your edit, capitalize the "s" in "so." haha (and maybe the one in "she" on the second to last line) that is, if you mean to have each line capitalized. Okay, I'm done, now! I promise.

[Giulia King]

Lol done and done! Thank you again for helping me :)