Will-o-the-Whispered Love Notes

Will-o-the-Whispered Love Notes

A Poem by GunMetal
"

I just really wanted to write a love story about ghosts at an abandoned carnival.

"
Somewhere in the landscape of forgotten memories
stands a place so empty
not even sound can move through it
without hesitating around corners.

Ticket booths and hot dog stands
all bleak as post-mortem monuments.
Effigies to Once Wonderful, and Filled with Color.

We stand transparent beneath a webbed attraction
next to a grinning mannequin promising altitude
for only $5
But we must be this tall to ride.

We weren’t afraid when the tracks collapsed.
We fell for each other.

Your moon-glow changes color to whatever you pass in front of.
Aubergine, Celeste, Chartreuse, Cordovan.
Electric crimson.
Anti-flash white.
Instruments and carnival lights flicker to life
when touched by your energy.

You’re like virga and petrichor.
I’m the luckiest ghost alive.

Isn’t this how you always imagined it?
Flowers of all kind and color,
Friends and family sharing stories of our life
before each other.

While we were dressed in autumn shades of fog.
They prayed for us, and wept for us
staged our departure in black veils.
Morning sage.
Shoulder heavy.
While we stood on each other’s tombstones
and exchanged vows.

I promise you that my heart never stopped.
You made it skip every single beat.

People still come here, ghost hunting.
We look forward to it.
There are still attractions here.
Ethereal whispers of nothings.

We haunt everything before the sunrise.

© 2012 GunMetal


Author's Note

GunMetal
I've been experimenting with fiction recently.

My Review

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Featured Review

I just love your style so much, maybe its because its refreshing and out of the norm of what I normally read on here, but whatever element you've got I'm hooked. Your words are divine, I feel like a spectator to the events going on. This just made my day that much better, I find it refreshingly brilliant. Keep writing with your awesome ways :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Ugh!

"While we were dressed in autumn shades of fog.
They prayed for us, and wept for us
staged our departure in black veils.
Morning sage.
Shoulder heavy.
While we stood on each other’s tombstones
and exchanged vows."

What a melancholy write,
but so brilliantly elegant at the same time.
Nicely done Sir!


Posted 8 Years Ago


So you do , haunted too, I hunt alone and leave a flower on the ground. Adlevice he sang ,his first day ,the boys and flowers wept , then the governor respectfully stayed back by the trees, and oh the flowers as she sank into the ground, power and clouds all around, oh the flowers holding us up,holding her down.

Posted 8 Years Ago


this really rocked me
=]

Posted 8 Years Ago


I really enjoyed this poem :) VERY AWESOME

Posted 8 Years Ago


You have such an amazing style when you write. You draw the reader deeper and deeper wanting more and with no end in sight. The setting was so real for me, I could feel the ghostly chill upon my shoulders as I read this. Simply so well crafted that I forget I am reading on WC and not a best seller. Some of the authors on the NYT list could learn from you my friend.

Posted 8 Years Ago


GunMetal

8 Years Ago

Thank you. I always enjoy reviews from you. You flatter me. =)
You know - fiction is something I fall short on so that made me appreciate this even more!!!
This is absolutely wonderfully executed love, truly is...and you say I am a good writer! lol
Good sir...you rock!!!
xoxo

Posted 8 Years Ago


man this is eerily creepy and romantic. I love dark stuff like this. just a weird combination of goth and love. very different from a lot of stuff from this site. i appreciate it. great job.




Posted 8 Years Ago


Crazy Cat Man

8 Years Ago

when i read this poem. I thought of this song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oquad3rnZS.. read more
You weave a very interesting and incredible story. I love this promise of forever, and quiet bliss, without the usual bleakness. I enjoy your work, and your take on things. I think others do as well. Keep experimenting, keep sharing what you see. Those are rich eyes you have.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I like it. It's got this whimsical, metaphorical, ghostly, everybodies changing colors thing going on and I think that's cool.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I really loved this! you combined natural and unnatural, real and even more real, innocence and reality/truth... it's supernatural and totally normal at the same time, everything has another meaning.

Posted 8 Years Ago



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44 Reviews
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Shelved in 8 Libraries
Added on July 12, 2012
Last Updated on July 12, 2012

Author

GunMetal
GunMetal

Wish You Were Here, Alta Loma, CA



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