Will-o-the-Whispered Love Notes

Will-o-the-Whispered Love Notes

A Poem by GunMetal

I just really wanted to write a love story about ghosts at an abandoned carnival.

Somewhere in the landscape of forgotten memories
stands a place so empty
not even sound can move through it
without hesitating around corners.

Ticket booths and hot dog stands
all bleak as post-mortem monuments.
Effigies to Once Wonderful, and Filled with Color.

We stand transparent beneath a webbed attraction
next to a grinning mannequin promising altitude
for only $5
But we must be this tall to ride.

We weren’t afraid when the tracks collapsed.
We fell for each other.

Your moon-glow changes color to whatever you pass in front of.
Aubergine, Celeste, Chartreuse, Cordovan.
Electric crimson.
Anti-flash white.
Instruments and carnival lights flicker to life
when touched by your energy.

You’re like virga and petrichor.
I’m the luckiest ghost alive.

Isn’t this how you always imagined it?
Flowers of all kind and color,
Friends and family sharing stories of our life
before each other.

While we were dressed in autumn shades of fog.
They prayed for us, and wept for us
staged our departure in black veils.
Morning sage.
Shoulder heavy.
While we stood on each other’s tombstones
and exchanged vows.

I promise you that my heart never stopped.
You made it skip every single beat.

People still come here, ghost hunting.
We look forward to it.
There are still attractions here.
Ethereal whispers of nothings.

We haunt everything before the sunrise.

© 2012 GunMetal

Author's Note

I've been experimenting with fiction recently.

My Review

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Featured Review

I just love your style so much, maybe its because its refreshing and out of the norm of what I normally read on here, but whatever element you've got I'm hooked. Your words are divine, I feel like a spectator to the events going on. This just made my day that much better, I find it refreshingly brilliant. Keep writing with your awesome ways :)

Posted 9 Years Ago

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


a very lovely piece

Posted 8 Years Ago

"I promise you that my heart never stopped. You made it skip every single beat."
my favorite lines ... there is just something so hauntingly perfect about ghost lovers, a dream of two seemingly separate from reality and this phrase catches my breath "You’re like virga and petrichor.I’m the luckiest ghost alive." you make them sound so ethereal, I am in love with this write, incredible beyond imagination.

Posted 9 Years Ago

This is lovely almost a picnic of family and friends departed.we haunt everything before sunrise.original !

Posted 9 Years Ago

Oh and you do an awesome job writing fiction you capture me and bring me into your flowing words, I love your way with words...The first stanza is just gripping and lures you in, A fantastic piece you have here!!! Breathtaking, makes me kinda wish I were a ghost.

Posted 9 Years Ago

I am in love with this!

Posted 9 Years Ago

this a great way of showing your emotions nofin is wrong with i love! :)

Posted 9 Years Ago

Interesting write... You pulled off this experimentation with fiction... Enjoyed it...

Posted 9 Years Ago

Isn’t this how you always imagined it?
Flowers of all kind and color,
Friends and family sharing stories of our life
before each other.

..........a good write. I like this. Your style is great. With regards.

Posted 9 Years Ago

I dug this, the style was not what I expected and it made it a nice change of read.

Posted 9 Years Ago

Like a breath of fresh air...this was very good. I enjoyed reading and always do enjoy your works. You try different things and they all seem to work for you. Just WOW!! :) Thank you for the RR

Posted 9 Years Ago

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44 Reviews
Shelved in 8 Libraries
Added on July 12, 2012
Last Updated on July 12, 2012



Wish You Were Here, Alta Loma, CA

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