Will-o-the-Whispered Love Notes

Will-o-the-Whispered Love Notes

A Poem by GunMetal

I just really wanted to write a love story about ghosts at an abandoned carnival.

Somewhere in the landscape of forgotten memories
stands a place so empty
not even sound can move through it
without hesitating around corners.

Ticket booths and hot dog stands
all bleak as post-mortem monuments.
Effigies to Once Wonderful, and Filled with Color.

We stand transparent beneath a webbed attraction
next to a grinning mannequin promising altitude
for only $5
But we must be this tall to ride.

We weren’t afraid when the tracks collapsed.
We fell for each other.

Your moon-glow changes color to whatever you pass in front of.
Aubergine, Celeste, Chartreuse, Cordovan.
Electric crimson.
Anti-flash white.
Instruments and carnival lights flicker to life
when touched by your energy.

You’re like virga and petrichor.
I’m the luckiest ghost alive.

Isn’t this how you always imagined it?
Flowers of all kind and color,
Friends and family sharing stories of our life
before each other.

While we were dressed in autumn shades of fog.
They prayed for us, and wept for us
staged our departure in black veils.
Morning sage.
Shoulder heavy.
While we stood on each other’s tombstones
and exchanged vows.

I promise you that my heart never stopped.
You made it skip every single beat.

People still come here, ghost hunting.
We look forward to it.
There are still attractions here.
Ethereal whispers of nothings.

We haunt everything before the sunrise.

© 2012 GunMetal

Author's Note

I've been experimenting with fiction recently.

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Featured Review

I just love your style so much, maybe its because its refreshing and out of the norm of what I normally read on here, but whatever element you've got I'm hooked. Your words are divine, I feel like a spectator to the events going on. This just made my day that much better, I find it refreshingly brilliant. Keep writing with your awesome ways :)

Posted 9 Years Ago

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


WOW!!! you captivate me.... such a beautiful poetic story you have here!!!
**keep that ink flowin mistah... I'm diggin yo style** I appreciate the creativity and romance... GREAT WRITE INDEED!!!

Posted 9 Years Ago

I found this story fascinating. What I liked the most is the way you jump from one striking, colorful image, to another, yet creating a continuous flow of events. You suggested perfectly the carnival atmosphere. It is like fireworks for a deaf man.

Posted 9 Years Ago

What fascinates me about WC is the people you meet, each has their own unique style with strange twists and turns. This work truely is interesting and unique, a voyage into a new realm of surrealism.
This also has a very smooth flow to it making it easy to read.
Thanks for sharing.

Posted 9 Years Ago

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This is totally great. I love your style of writing, you know actually put us in the shoes of every single line. Really lovely and if you call this experimenting, then damn....

Posted 9 Years Ago


9 Years Ago

Thank you. Most of the time, when I wrote fiction, it would usually be inspired by a dream I might h.. read more

9 Years Ago

Well it's great. You should practice a lot....i totally enjoyed this.
Experiment away! this is perfect. I love the second stanza, images of a ghost town. A glimpse into the other side, 7th stanza, I like too. Thank you.

Posted 9 Years Ago

I think you did a fabulous job here. Well done.

Posted 9 Years Ago

Dear Gunmetal,

I greatly enjoyed this. Your emotions and thoughts are complicated and so different from mine. We should have some deep conversations sometime. I think we'd learn much from each other.

You continue to paint complicated, barely ordered thought, emotions, visions--I mean no disrespect, truly. I find this fascinating and wonderful. You move on a different plane.

Very much enjoyed with many deep ponderings! High marks,

Best regards,


Posted 9 Years Ago

You need to experiment more. I liked!

Posted 9 Years Ago

Wow... this was great! This was very interesting, not to mention hella creative. Really enjoyed reading this! Well done!

Posted 9 Years Ago

I really like the story, I could picture every scene. Very nice poem :)

Posted 9 Years Ago

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44 Reviews
Shelved in 8 Libraries
Added on July 12, 2012
Last Updated on July 12, 2012



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