Will-o-the-Whispered Love Notes

Will-o-the-Whispered Love Notes

A Poem by GunMetal

I just really wanted to write a love story about ghosts at an abandoned carnival.

Somewhere in the landscape of forgotten memories
stands a place so empty
not even sound can move through it
without hesitating around corners.

Ticket booths and hot dog stands
all bleak as post-mortem monuments.
Effigies to Once Wonderful, and Filled with Color.

We stand transparent beneath a webbed attraction
next to a grinning mannequin promising altitude
for only $5
But we must be this tall to ride.

We weren’t afraid when the tracks collapsed.
We fell for each other.

Your moon-glow changes color to whatever you pass in front of.
Aubergine, Celeste, Chartreuse, Cordovan.
Electric crimson.
Anti-flash white.
Instruments and carnival lights flicker to life
when touched by your energy.

You’re like virga and petrichor.
I’m the luckiest ghost alive.

Isn’t this how you always imagined it?
Flowers of all kind and color,
Friends and family sharing stories of our life
before each other.

While we were dressed in autumn shades of fog.
They prayed for us, and wept for us
staged our departure in black veils.
Morning sage.
Shoulder heavy.
While we stood on each other’s tombstones
and exchanged vows.

I promise you that my heart never stopped.
You made it skip every single beat.

People still come here, ghost hunting.
We look forward to it.
There are still attractions here.
Ethereal whispers of nothings.

We haunt everything before the sunrise.

© 2012 GunMetal

Author's Note

I've been experimenting with fiction recently.

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Featured Review

I just love your style so much, maybe its because its refreshing and out of the norm of what I normally read on here, but whatever element you've got I'm hooked. Your words are divine, I feel like a spectator to the events going on. This just made my day that much better, I find it refreshingly brilliant. Keep writing with your awesome ways :)

Posted 9 Years Ago

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Interesting story. I like it quite a bit. I would only say that it may be more interesting with a little more suspense or surprise, but thats a personal opinion.

Posted 9 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow. This is so beautiful. I love it.

Posted 9 Years Ago

This makes me want to wear pink strings and lace to the breakfast table, it is magnificent in such a way that it breathes life into the sepulcher vows that seem to whisper after dark, making the night alive with magic. Only you could turn such ghosts into lovers, and I am taken aback as usual at your ability to make the world stop and hover while i'm reading, the carnival, the ghosts, the romance, everything epic!

Posted 9 Years Ago

You should dive into writing fiction with both feet, getting wet; Be-damned!
You described in such fascinating detail how I feel each year when I go, wife on arm, kids in tow, to our County Fair. Love that crisp fall air, the carny atmosphere, and everything elese that goes along with it...
Please, write some fiction. I'll sure read it!

Posted 9 Years Ago

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the first line says it all : 'Somewhere in the landscape of forgotten memories'
i really like it.

Posted 9 Years Ago

You should definitely write more fiction. I really enjoyed "When I Vanish" and this poem was amazing also. I had fun while reading this one, my imagination went crazy and all that, so I would really like to read more fiction from you.

Great poem and looking forward for your next fiction work!
-Urosh Stojanovic

Posted 9 Years Ago


9 Years Ago

I was wondering if anybody would bring that story up. Thank you, my friend. I probably won't write a.. read more
love your poem x great write :O)

Posted 9 Years Ago

Wow, this was amazing, GunMetal! The deep emotions embroidered in thie poem make me forget I'm reading something on WritersCafe and make me think I'm reading from a book titled, 'A Collection of Poems'! I thought the line, 'We weren't afraid when the tracks collapsed. We fell for each other.' was amazingly well written. Keep up the great work!

Posted 9 Years Ago

I love the way you right gun metal! This poem really speaks to me and I really enjoyed reading your structure of opinion.

keep going :D

Posted 9 Years Ago

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44 Reviews
Shelved in 8 Libraries
Added on July 12, 2012
Last Updated on July 12, 2012



Wish You Were Here, Alta Loma, CA

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