The Starless Nothing

The Starless Nothing

A Poem by GunMetal
"

This poem is over 7 years old now. It's probably my oldest poem that I still show people.

"

It’s a nice evening.

With the sun gone

the light pollution casts a dull glow across the atmosphere.

Like it has no business there

but nowhere else to be.

And as for the stars

you won’t see many here.

They’ve all escaped the stratosphere.

From where I am, I can see the whole city

all its splendors softened in my nearsightedness.


I’m sitting in a leather chair older than I am.

My back porch illuminated by my kitchen window.

In front of me glows a plastic pink flamingo.


I listen to the crickets scraping their sleepless sonata.

They sing at night because the birds do all the singing during the day.

On evenings like these

they seem like nightly apparitions;

Ghosts of a harmonic memory

now just remnants of sirens over the barking of dogs.

I lean back and look at the near-dark sky

scarcely littered with random residual star things

casting a lonely radiance through that faded black veil

as if wanting to remain,

but are being pushed away.

The rest must have fallen

because from where I am now,
all the starlight's on the ground.


I close my eyes and think I might like to die this way.

Peaceful, with singing and light all around me.

The big twist ending being

that I was alive the whole time.


We all get like this I suppose.

At least, I hope so.

I want moments like this to be important.

To know that it’s not always nothingness above me

and that there are still stars somewhere.


In my mind, like a slow breeze

She lingers.

Wandering into my thoughts

heavy with sighs

and lasting.

I wonder, as I often do

how I can write her into poetry.

Some words are beyond me

and even at my best

I fall just short of describing what she means to me.

She is an anthology of speechlessness.

I know the words are out there.


I gave her a Christmas card once.

Inside was a note.

A short message, written in prose.

I was taking the chance to prove

that I don’t care about being embarrassed

by the way that I feel about her.

I don’t remember what I wrote.

I know it was really lame.

But it was honest.

Words written by shaking hands.

I suppose it must have been charming somehow.


Looking up at the sky
I think I can see more stars,

but after a moment I see that they are airplanes,

and I smile

like the victim of some sort of celestial prank.

I watch it slow glide in and out of view

through the blurry silhouette of a tree

before closing my eyes and imagining

(Of all things)

        being abducted by aliens.

Being swept away from the earth

looking through a large window

watching our little blue, hazy planet getting smaller

And smaller

And smaller

And like reverb in the back of my mind I hear

“Come Sail Away.

Come Sail Away.”

The last thing I see before venturing off into the starless nothing,

like a slow breeze,

is her face.

Just as silent, as the surviving constellations

but clear as crystal-

sharp as shrapnel.


I open my eyes, back on my porch again.

In a black leather chair, older than I am.

Heavy with sighs.


I try again to find words

but they're not here.

They're not even this.

But, it’s a comfortable evening

nonetheless.

© 2012 GunMetal


Author's Note

GunMetal
I was pensive, and love struck. I was daydreaming without my glasses on. It has gone through many revisions over the years, but this revision would be the first one I consider a "Version 2". Don't mind the length.

My Review

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Featured Review

What I love about your style is that, there is a celestial profoundness (which indicates your mastery of the language) in every stanza; In film, we call it "set pieces", these are well- directed, elaborate scenes that has a lot of pizzazz in it, making it appear almost independent from the rest of the scenes (there's no better way I can think of on how to describe it, than a gorgeous set piece). Your tone has a signature whip- smart spontaneity in it, without trying to sound smart-a*s (natural, seemingly first- thought, sporadic with class), that makes you smile to the little thought of it.I must say, you're definitely one of the most commendable poets around here. You are a master of free verse my friend. As to the piece, well what more can I say... I was swooned again by your utter brilliance.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I wonder what happeded to her, there are stars crying all over the world tonight...this reminds me of my own but like you I have no words...maybe I'll borrow yours for a time. Thank you...you are a very wonderful poet, the star dust of what all great poets are made of.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Many Versions you say? I like this one just fine myself. It was a pleasure to read. Thank you for the RR :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


I love the honesty in this piece - "I want moments like this to be important."

Thanks for the request! I really enjoyed reading this. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


This is full of emotional bonding to the world around us , i scene eerie sadness within your words. It feels like it jumps a bit, like there's a verse missing before

It reads like a lullaby sweet , honest and dripping in compassion of a lonely heart. Fantastic read once again

Posted 9 Years Ago


Lovely poem , you drew me in to read until the end. Daydreams in a chair older then you great way to pass the time.

Posted 9 Years Ago


this is what is known as "epic". I like the way you show all of your emotions in every verse. The poem showed so much potential.

love it :) especially the come sail away part

Posted 9 Years Ago


wonderful, I think you could split this into several poems.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Beautiful....Dreamy. I like your description of the starless skies and the crickets,
"I listen to the crickets sing
They sing at night because the birds do all the singing during the day
On evenings like these
They seem like nightly apparitions"
I like your poem, and, as far as love poems go, this is one of my favorites.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


This is amazing, I really enjoyed this write

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Added on February 5, 2008
Last Updated on June 19, 2012

Author

GunMetal
GunMetal

Wish You Were Here, Alta Loma, CA



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