Ariel

About a moment. A memory.

Time seemed to slow down

Almost

Stand still

I looked into her eyes and wondered how it came to this

So quickly

Every sound was dull as if I were underwater

The sky bled and the colors ran off the walls

Her face seemed dabbed with paint

And I could swear

That if I touched her cheek

The texture

Would smear

This was the very place

Yesterday

The very spot

I gathered my courage

And asked her out

We were so young

And she was the first

Crush

Who actually said "Yes"

I was so shy

I even asked if I could hold her hand

The pulse in my fingers pounded

As they wrapped around hers

As I walked her to her next class

She was blushing

And I was blushing

Here was us

Just two kids walking down a familiar hallway

Blushing

As if our cheeks were projections of the fire that burned in my gut

Which seemed to say, "I've been waiting for this moment... for so long."

I can't remember ever being more elated

But the very next day

She had been thinking

She decided

She wasn't ready for a "boyfriend"

She decided

She wasn't ready for me

And when she told me

I swear

All I could think about

Was how beautiful her eyes looked when they were concerned

And I wanted to take everything that ever bothered her

And make it disappear

I wanted to turn her every sorrow into a relieving sigh

A breath of fresh air

Here was she, dumping me

And I couldn't help but smile

Because she had never been more beautiful to me

She had never been more

Real

Because I only knew her from the conversations we had online

I only knew her from the chats we had in and between classes

I only knew her from what people told me about her

And here was she

And I swear

All I could think was,

"How could I let myself become so taken by this girl

And I hardly even know her?"

When she finally walked away

All the colors dragged with her

And every sound was blurred

I walked to my class

Half conscious

And I couldn't even remember

What

She had said to me...

She had never been more real

We were so young

From the very first moment I ever saw her

There wasn't a day

For three and a half years

That I didn't think of her

And

I never told her that

I never had the chance to tell her everything

And maybe that's why I'm up at six in the morning after not sleeping all night

Maybe that's why I'm writing this last poem

Maybe that's why I have to get this out of my system

So that maybe

One day

Sometime in the near

or

Distant future

I finally have the chance to tell her...

"Ariel, the moment couldn't have been more perfect,

And I wouldn't trade it for anything,

ever."

I swear

Author's Note

I still haven't read it to her.

Reviews

[G. Marie"floating on an..]

man if i were that girl and you wrote those beautiful words for me I WOULD HAVE MELTED IN YOUR ARMS maybe you needed to let her know how you really felt for her. and maybe now it's too late. You know one problem men have is that its so hard for them to put into words their feelings and being quiet makes the girl think you dont care. try telling the next one if there is one that you feel that deeply for again dont let her get away. very profound poem the imagery is amazing with your choices of words that paint such a beautiful picture in ones minds and hearts.

[Natalie]

That is so sweet! I understand why you haven't read it to her, because to have her know everything that you feel, if she walked away again, would be too much. That kind of emotion is what makes really beautiful writing.

[PianoandPage]

you know, the pacing of this poem reminds me a little of buddy wakefield, who if you are not familiar with his stuff you should immediately look up.

you have some great images here which you use well. my only issue was that i felt this poem ended at "what she said to me". i was happy with sort of the the unanswered feelings afterward.

you have a charming sort of casual and conversational style that plays very well with the colorful ways you observe and describe your emotions.

keep writing!

[A.Lee]

This is beautiful. Any girl who had this read to her would be awed. I love the imagery in this piece. You did a fantastic job.

[Jacqueline Lopez]

Wow! I don't know what to think? Are you really that way? I mean, I don't even know what word to use. This poem is very heart-felt. It feels that's the place it came from, but if some guy would of dump me I would of been really pissed.
Screw how real he looked. I cannot believe you wouldnt be pissed?
Even though, I have mixed emotions about this poem, it's different. I LOOOOOVE IT! I've never read something like this before and that's what makes it unique. Good job my friend or should I say, my hard to believe friend! LOL!!!
Remember, I would of been pissed. You're dumping me?! I don't think so!

[cest la vie]

"All the colors dragged with her"

genius line..
This poem has so much reality within.. These emotions are singular to you, yet at some point others have felt similar.
This reads almost like a mini-indie film script..
Excellent writing..
you truly have mad writing skills..

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

i wish someone felt like this for me.... beautifully written

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

this is so beautiful, gentle, and honest. I loved it very much, ---mishel