Of Hummingbird

Something nice.

I hover like an underscore above the water

watching the vapor twist to my presence.

It reminds me how fragile the air is,

and how fortunate that is for me.

Do you sometimes wish your wings could whisper?

Do I resist the urge to bury myself in your hair

because it smells like how flowers taste?

Maybe.

I can stay perched for only so long.

I know your heart beats slowly.

Having the imagination you do,

you like the way the scattered clouds in the morning

sometimes look like crayon scribbles.

I had never thought of it like that before.

You’re absolutely right.

I could learn a thing or two from you about

producing such a beautiful aura,

and in return,

I could show you how to move in any direction,

even backwards,

without fear.

Take notice the hum of my awkward.

It’s hard to keep a good composure

when my heart has beaten twelve-hundred times

in the last minute.

Don’t worry.

I’m not afraid to sing for you.

Reviews

[forevermore1218]

I like the aura you give to this poem. The only piece of advice I have for you is just to make sure you keep the same flow of rhythm going when you write a poem in this style. What I mean is make sure you're going in the same direction. In the beginning it was really poetic, but then you got a little childish when you used crayon scribbles for a simile. Then you went poetic again. Make sure you stay in the same direction. Overall this was really awesome and I think that your potential really stood out when you wrote this!

Love it :)

[reflectingus]

Loved the hummingbird perspective, how it soars through life and we can learn a thing or two from its playful mood. The writing is rather uplifting, creates a sense of freedom and a world without fear, as the conclusion perfectly summarized the overall tone. The flow was pleasant and the rhyme kept a great pace, I liked the metaphors, and the whole poem is just brilliant.

[AK]

Aw! Such a nice poem! I loved it! Keep writing!

[Coyote Poetry]

The complete poem was amazing. The description open the door to good vision and thoughts. To be free to fly and sing your song would be a good life. A strong ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Daisy123]

The last two lines were fabulous, this whole poem is fabulous! very nicely done.

[Mackenzie Brooke]

Awww this is really cute!

[Destinyxi]

The last two lines made me smile. This is the second poem I read today that have something to do with birds haha. A really sweet poem, keep it up! :)

[Uroš D. Stojanov..]

Really nice, I like it.