Third Place

This empty space inside me is dark and unsettling

No, It's not wishing hell to rise

No, it is not some emotional, angsty

Rebellion to authority.

It is pure emptiness

I see the the success of my peers

Numb

I see others light up with joy

Happy for the ones they love

Numb

Its just numbness

But add a side of irritability

Agitated with my own self

Caught up in other's webs

Envisioning myself like a cartoon

Scratching my eyes out 

Pulling my own hair

Because I am the jack of all trades

But a master of none

No gold stars for me

Just a silver slither of joy

When I actually finish something

But even then 

I just sit and criticize it

Much like this poem 

Where I have already

Second guessed even posting it

Five times

I just don't like it

It's too whiney

It's too selfish

It's too ungrateful

It's too immature

It's too bad

Maybe I could have been great

But I'm just third place

Reviews

[Lorry]

I think you capture the numbness well here, the vast chasm you know should be something, but leaves you feeling only incomprehension and turns eyebrows into question marks. At least that is how it feels to me, that I don't understand it, but I also see that the picture of happiness and confidence others seem to play so well, is temporary and fleeting for them too, they are only better at keeping their mask in place.
A thought provoking piece, better than third in my opinion.