Burnt Out Flame

Burnt Out Flame

A Poem by Holly Mason

Boom of silence
upon night chambers call
darken the embers so slowly do fall
enter eternity with undue white mists
creeping halls surrounding raging fists
the embers call with red nighttime fire
yell her name she will hear your desire
lost love flame with eternity in white mists
losing control with rage of foe 
come hither in all of this
burnt out flame
was the one to blame
keep her sir
but give me her name

© 2013 Holly Mason


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Reviews

Wow, Holly this was wonderful! I admire your style of writing greatly.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Holly Mason

7 Years Ago

thank you little song writer...*)
❤ Maggie ❤

7 Years Ago

You are most welcome)
I hope he felt she was worth it!
And I'm sure you're better off without him!
I liked this a lot. Thanks.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Holly Mason

7 Years Ago

sorry I missed this review...better off without him yes but I do not want to mislead...these words j.. read more
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
CRAIG A. THOMSON

7 Years Ago

Well done! It's great when something just pops out like that. Very convincing. Keep it up!
Logs falling into the embers like thoughts. You were right about this wright I do enjoy it very much. Again I see the completeness of these words. None wasted all syncopated.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Holly Mason

7 Years Ago

thank you fine sir truly
Ken Simm.

7 Years Ago

You are more than welcome once I've got my spelling sorted. I blame my keyboard
I think this might be one of my favorites. Beautiful and haunting. ;-)

Posted 7 Years Ago


Holly Mason

7 Years Ago

hauntingly beautiful....hope I kept you up last night*)*)*)
thank you kindly
It is obviously a deep write. The opening phrase "Boom of silence" is outstanding and sets the tone very well. Then you have a series of very definite metaphors: "burnt out flame", "eternity in white mists", "embers", with one continuous theme running through them all to hold the tale together.

To be honest, I am not sure what the allegorical meaning here is, but I will share my impression nonetheless. What I see here, is the description of a woman. A woman who plays many roles. She loves, she fulfills desires, often without appropriate acknowledgement. She is a woman who gets noticed only when she is absent. We take a flame's light for granted, and only when it is "burnt out" and we are plunged into darkness do we realize how crucial a part it played.
In a male dominated world, this is not very uncommon. At least, those are my impressions.
As far as critical comments are concerned, I feel the poem is a little too abstract. I had to think very hard and read it many times to form a cohesive mental picture. And while that could be taken as a lack of reviewing skills on my part, I do believe it would become more accessible to the general audience if it were slightly more concrete.
It is a good poem nonetheless! Thank you!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Holly Mason

7 Years Ago

thank you truly for taking the time to read and review
I believe one of my writing layout prob.. read more
Augustus

7 Years Ago

You're most welcome! :)
If this is your style, you should stick to it. Also, I hope you don't.. read more
Holly Mason

7 Years Ago

I love my poems to be wide open for interpretation
half the time I am not even sure what to.. read more
Oh I love this! I love your use of alliteration: chambers call, enter eternity, lost love, etc. And I love the simple profundity of the last few lines. Very nice and haunting.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Holly Mason

7 Years Ago

thank you very much for reading*)*)*)
as always..the punch line delivers home

Posted 7 Years Ago


Holly Mason

7 Years Ago

home delivery=comprehension*)
thank you so glow on*)
poetry-kiddo alienbaba

7 Years Ago

+_+
I love how the sparse groups can blend into a mind,Slowly gumming up all my thoughts till the world around me is gone and I am there in your page.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Holly Mason

7 Years Ago

my page is your page
thank you fine sir truly
I enjoyed this one holly and I love your avatar too...

Posted 7 Years Ago


Holly Mason

7 Years Ago

thank you so sweet butterfly...it's my yellow shirt that caught your eye*)
Yellow Butterfly

7 Years Ago

hahah I meant the picture avatar... lol
Such a brilliant wording and message you bring to us here, beautiful woman!
I felt an eerie way of what I do admire so much, "fireman's" and this was touching me.
You have no idea, how deep this is... (at least for me), I loved the gothic feel of it, and the darker space, you embrace with your words... just fantastic.

- Elisa

Posted 7 Years Ago


Holly Mason

7 Years Ago

thank you beauty writer ...I send out a lot of littles and sometimes I have to remind that I am a wr.. read more

7 Years Ago

You're most welcome Holly dear, and I will read each of yours, within time... I'm kind of a new fan .. read more

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1916 Views
28 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on March 28, 2013
Last Updated on March 28, 2013

Author

Holly Mason
Holly Mason

Rockledge, FL



About
I have recently learned that maybe I can write.I have recently learned that this is my last year.I have recently learned that I will write to the end.I am a whimsical writer a writer of whim.What ever.. more..

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