Burnt Out Flame

Burnt Out Flame

A Poem by Holly Mason

Boom of silence
upon night chambers call
darken the embers so slowly do fall
enter eternity with undue white mists
creeping halls surrounding raging fists
the embers call with red nighttime fire
yell her name she will hear your desire
lost love flame with eternity in white mists
losing control with rage of foe 
come hither in all of this
burnt out flame
was the one to blame
keep her sir
but give me her name

© 2013 Holly Mason


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Reviews

This is pretty darn amazing, enjoyed

Posted 10 Years Ago


Holly Mason

10 Years Ago

that is a pretty darn amazing review*)
thank you so for reading
Just Kim

10 Years Ago

not a problem
This is really good. It had a Poe feeling to it.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Holly Mason

10 Years Ago

Thank you Jeff I appreciate your kind words
boom of silence - give me her name
would love to hear you write without rhyme
perhaps because i can't or perhaps because it would give you freedom - you have the rythm and the eloquence,,, lovely none the less... just a thought

Posted 10 Years Ago


Holly Mason

10 Years Ago

and just a thoughts can go a long way...I have some with no rhyme -the shoes of others and a few mor.. read more
Ok, now I am amazed, this work Holly, says so much. It touches deep subjects and calls out those who invite the finality of it all. The last two lines gripped me and held on tight, so very cool and vivid the pictures you have painted in my mind. I am so very happy you have chosen me to be one of your friends.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Holly Mason

11 Years Ago

hopefully the Easter bunny just a photo for me-but I am sure it is well below their maturity levels*.. read more
Jack...

11 Years Ago

Depends on who's wearing the costume. :)
Holly Mason

11 Years Ago

hey I just got that...of course I also realized this week that my youngest now 13 has curves...no mu.. read more
So tragic for a relationship to end with cold hearts.. But we really can't control over one's feelings and emotions.
The last line is cool. For someone who was abandoned, why would you still ask "her name?
Keep on writing.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Holly Mason

11 Years Ago

the name is food for thought and where the reader chooses to take it-maybe she will bare a child,may.. read more
A poem that I like, atmospheric write that keeps its theme together superbly, but I am concerned with your bio that ....this is my last year. I hope you don`t mean what I understand by this...

Posted 11 Years Ago


Holly Mason

11 Years Ago

It is what it is-But I am so thrilled that you have stopped by I constantly read your reviews I thin.. read more
Dear Holly

High time I popped by to say hello and have a read.

I am going to keep this unstructured - not do the usual Hanna-Magill dissection into - style, rhyme, flavour, content et al.

And to the poem:

I like its structure. You even get a visual effect if you look at the words on the page. You start your lines short and pithy, then make them longer as if yelling (indeed you use the word there) at the world before shortening them to the blunt.

Indeed the structure even follows in a way the 'boom of silence' (I like the contrast there by the way too) in your first line. The poem sounds like a bomb going off. I got used to them every day when brought up in Belfast during the height of the Trouble in the seventies. A bomb explosion starts off softly, builds to a crescendo before slipping slowly into silence again.

Its meaning is guessable, but it is as subtly covert in much the same way as the white mists to which you refer.

Lost love.

Deceit.

Stolen by another.

What's her name?

The explosion in the middle and the way you express it is so melodic and charming to my ear:

'creeping halls surrounding raging fists
the embers call with red nighttime fire
yell her name she will hear your desire'

(By the way it's 'night time' or night-time and not nighttime. But who cares? I don't. I have this awful felling all they may be able to put as epitaph on my tombstone is 'He could spell!').

By my verbose standards, this is a short review.

But then beautiful words, put together so eloquently can in the end silence me with admiration.

Your friend

James

Posted 11 Years Ago


0 of 3 people found this review constructive.

Holly Mason

11 Years Ago

Thank you fine sir-her name whatever last name his wife gets to have
thank you for the night .. read more
I agree about it having a Poe like quality and I love Poe... this is really brilliant, one of your best.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Holly Mason

11 Years Ago

Thank you fine sir
I went to read your new piece with/Poppy Silver but the video trapped my sc.. read more
The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)

11 Years Ago

Video, what video, LOL I need to check that out.
Holly Mason

11 Years Ago

I think it is just the way it is freezin my screen so I a*s-u-med*) it was a video
all I see i.. read more
damn i feel Poe in this...kind of an Annabelle Lee...

eerie but so engaging, so passionate..."to helen thy beauty is to me..."

good stuff, Holly.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Holly Mason

11 Years Ago

I thought you would grasp and enjoy this...and I am more then glad you did.
thank you for your.. read more

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1954 Views
29 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on March 28, 2013
Last Updated on March 28, 2013

Author

Holly Mason
Holly Mason

Rockledge, FL



About
Well now , so many words to write. So let’s write em . Xoxox Holly I would like to acknowledge my wonderful teenage ( she is now 24 ) daughter..she has takin all the photos I use.She has c.. more..

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