A Chapter by HaleythePoet

A summary of my story, the prologue.



            Where do I begin? I suppose the best place to start would be the present. I'm currently a student in a private university in Pennsylvania studying field biology. I hope to one day do field research on animals or to become a surrogate mother to exotic animals. I am currently twenty years old, have dark blue and blonde hair, and I am engaged. I often wear my heart on my sleeve, and it has caused many problems in the past. My job search has been ongoing due to the rough market, but I get by with help from my mother. I only get one hundred dollars every two weeks for groceries, but every little bit helps.

            As mentioned earlier, I am indeed engaged to a wonderful man named David Colistra. He is currently eighteen years old, soon to be nineteen in December, and is currently a first year in a community college for culinary arts. I know what a lot of you women are thinking, 'A man that cooks?!' I was just as surprised as you for it is rare to find a man that loves to cook. He often makes fun of my "ghetto" way of cooking, but if it tastes good, who cares how it is made. David has brown hair, hazel eyes, stands at about five feet, nine inches tall, and is a bit closed off. What I mean by this is that he is very skeptical about meeting new people and likes his close group of friends that he has. We sometimes argue about stressful topics, but in the end we always forgive each other and move on.

            I was born on May 22nd, 1993 which makes me a Gemini. I'm bipolar, have an easy acceptance of opposites, curious, active, adventurous, creative, and emotional. Let's talk about the emotional part. I mentioned above that I wear my heart on my sleeve so I tend to get attached to things or people quickly and not want to let go. I have bipolar depression so one moment I can be happy as ever, then the next I can feel like I'm in a deep, dark abyss. I tend to cry for no reasons, and I have certain buttons that if someone pushes them enough, I breakdown completely. I've had a history of self harm, suicidal thoughts, depression, social anxiety, and just a feeling of being the ugly duckling.

            Being the oldest child in a broken family of six children including myself, it is often hard to live up to my parents expectations when I don't know what they expect of me sometimes. When I attended college I found out that I was the first and nobody saved up a college savings for me which made me financially screwed. I've had to take out loans, apply for hundreds of scholarships, and do my best just to afford the private university. You may ask why I chose a private university if money was a problem, but nowhere else around this area offered biology and I couldn't afford to go out of state. The reason why I say I live in a broken family is because my parents divorced when I was around 11 and I have since felt like it was my fault until recently. I needed an outlet for my anger and directed it at my father because I felt that he was at fault for yelling at my mother all of the time. Back then I didn't understand that she was cheating on him with my current step father. I still feel terrible for pushing my father away for so long, but we are doing better now to make our relationship healthy. I live with my roommates in college right now, but at the place I call home lives my mother, step father, and younger brother. I would love to live with my father, but I know that he already has enough mouths to feed and there is no room for me there.

            Now that I have given you a little background and a bit of who I am, let me rewind and tell you almost everything about my life that I can remember. Keep in mind during certain times in my life I didn't understand what was happening or why, so try to bear with me as I explain why I am the way I am today. I want to write this story because I want people to understand me, who I am, why I am this way, and perhaps even relate to me. If I reach out to ten people, and only one is changed in a positive way by my story, I will consider it a success. So walk in  my shoes, and read the story through my eyes. 

© 2013 HaleythePoet

Author's Note

Please feel free to comment but be constructive not judgmental.

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Added on September 30, 2013
Last Updated on September 30, 2013



Harrisburg, PA

I love to write poetry, stories, draw, and listen to all kinds of music. more..