C. M. C.

Personal telling of an old relationship and my feelings as of this moment.

The emotions and feelings that I get when I hear your name are indescribable at best.

I can never tell if I am fully over our escapade, or if those old feelings still linger inside of me. Near enough every day, I am hoping to see you again. Those dark, brooding eyes. The black messy hair that I used to adore playing with. And the smile you got when you saw me... God, that smile could light up the dullest of towns. But there is still that cloud. The storm of 2013. What you did to me, mentally and physically. Now I sit here and think to myself; "How could those same lips I once kissed passionately spread such filth about me?"

Obviously, I am not a fool. I know just how puerile and jaded I was back then. That still doesn't mean you were the holiest of saints, though. You took me and threw me into the middle of a verbal battlefield. All those words, names, the fiery insults. They shaped me to become so damaged and more lost than ever. While my reputation wasn't squeaky clean before this, it morphed into a grimy wasteland that I hated being in. However, the tough times do not last... The tough people do. Only now do I realize how beautifully strong I really was.

So I will put my strength to use. I'll utilize the power within me to purge the thoughts and memories of you out of my system. Why wish to see your face when I can simply fuel myself to accomplish more productive tasks? You have done that already. Hopefully, your smarts are building and the hand you're holding isn't pressed up against another man's chest. While I can stop the incessant chatter of you in my mind, I will never be able to erase who you are or what we were. And for once, I think I am okay with that.

I just hope you never forgot me, either.

Author's Note

Sorry that I've been inactive for a while! Life got busy but I just penned this last night since the weight of the thought was really bringing me down. Hope you enjoy being let into my personal life haha.

Reviews

[Pryde Foltz]

A very poignant and passionate write, Haley.

[Haley Wilson]

Thanks dear :)

[RileyRedding]

I admire the immense emotional honesty you've spoken from here.
What's worth writing about more than the things we believe in, and the things that scare us.
Really good work you have here.

[Haley Wilson]

Thank you!

[Ally]

You did such a good job writing you thoughts down, and I really admire that! You have a unique style of writing that is awesome and I can't wait to read more from you!

[Haley Wilson]

Aw thank you darling!! Xox

[Skai Rain]

This is a strange poem, but I enjoyed the read. Well done.

[Haley Wilson]

Strange? How so? I'm intrigued haha.

[Skai Rain]

Just the layout. I have not seen a poem done in paragraph form before.

[Haley Wilson]

I like to be unique. Haha :)

[Kuldeep desai]

nice very well written.......

[Luximir]

I like this... it is sad, but has so much emotion in it. Really is kind of twisted, very well done!

[Haley Wilson]

Thank you! Twisted? Didn't think of it that way but hey not gonna complain haha.

[Luximir]

When you started out it seemed... the atmosphere just seemed different then to the end :)