Feelings of Love

You can ignore the guitar and harmonica lines- they don't mean much here, just the instruments I'd have if this was ever to be a song.

It grips at my skin and it digs into my sins

I hate it with a passion and I wish to wrangle it old fashioned

Two armies crashing in a field

The blood pouring until none can yield

And it hurts my brain and haunts my mind

Ill, I'll often find, is deep within the mind

Though it is clogged and messy it still travels through time

In this feeling I find a new meaning

In these feelings of love I know I loved you

[Instrumental, Guitar]

And though I say I've learned this time

I'll still fall from way up high and I'll die the next time I find

A redhead or a blonde

Or a brunette or a hair of darker color

Their eyes seep into me and their minds I try to read

Though my mind is often too hard to find

And it won't be fine even if I die

In these feelings of love I know I loved you

[Instrumental, Guitar and Harmonica]

I still wish to look and to kiss but I wished too hard

And too many times ago

That was when I was primed, ready to go

That was the time

And now I'm here trying to hide

That all I've gotten into is a loop that I have no clue on how to do

And it grips at my mind and finds the deeper lines

[Short Instrumental, Guitar and Harmonica]

In these feelings I knew that I loved you

Falling in love was the time

That I felt that I was ready to die

Reviews

[FIN]

I was hooked on the first stanza. The second I felt the repetead use of the words "find" and "die" dulled the poem for me.

I feel you have something here, just needs to be polished. Or I need to hear it be sung instead of read, the rhythm can be a huge contributing factor.

Maybe I'm reading it incorrectly.

I still enjoy it though!
Great job.

[Cassick Dame]

Thank you very much for your constructive comments! I will work on a second version following through your suggestions, and possibly post it or send it to you. Again, thanks.

[jnl.behappy]

Bob Dylan Jr, anyone? I love it.

[Cassick Dame]

Let's give it some time before I become Dylan Jr. :)