Broken Promises and Despair

Broken Promises and Despair

A Poem by Hana Linzi
"

This poem was made for a scholarship that I will be reciting. It is truly about the anger that the father gives on a child when he never was never there.

"

I glance over in the crowd,

Everyone’s filling up the desks.

The opponent’s parents fill in with their child,

I hold my head down, as I already know

Mine aren’t here again.

 

The judge, calls out numbers and we say here.

I get up when they call my number to go,

I stare at the audience.

“Whenever you are ready”

I take a gulp and begin

“To a broken promise.

To a father who had given broken promises.

I never saw you in the crowds at any of my speech meets nor any of my games.

As every time I had an ounce of hope that you would be in there.

You just simply weren’t ever there.

As you promised me when I was young,

That no matter what was going on between you and mom,

No matter where you two stood,

You would always be there for me.

Although after that day,

Right after that promise was made.

I never saw your face again.

 

Your promises were all lies!

As your name fills up with hatred and despair!

There is no such thing as a father nor a dad,

Because you never have been there!

You were never there

To pick me up when I fell down,

Or aid me in my time of need.

To read me bed time stories as I fell asleep

And kiss my forehead and shut my light Off once I was out.

You never showed up to any of my conferences,

Nor my award ceremonies,

or my play,

or recitals,  

nor my meets.

 

You never took me to the park to play,

Or planned a Friday night of movies,

Nor a Sunday afternoon of games.

 

You never taught me how to ride my bike,

Or drive a car,

Nor helped me with my homework

 

You never showed up

To any of my birthdays,

Nor did I ever get a card or a call.

You never attended

My elementary and middle school graduation,

Nor will it be the last that you won’t attend.

 

And I surely know,

You won’t be at any of my games,

Nor any of my speech meets cheering me on.

Because since you left,

Your life has been so much important,

That you forget to remember your promises you made.

And now It makes me sick to have ever been daddy’s little girl.

Because you have never been my father nor my dad.

 

As when I was only 16,

I believed you still cared,

But lost the home number,

And forgot the address to the house.

After getting my licenses,

And buying my car,

I turn 16,

And set off on a journey

To reunited with my daddy.

I drove 2 hours that day,

With the fear in my heart.

I walked up to your door and knocked,

The woman told me that you weren’t there,

And my heart broken,

Your new wife didn’t know my name,

Nor the fact that I exist.

 

As I walked away, my eyes filled up with tears.

MY body filled up with rage.

YOU PROMISED ME!

How could you forget my name?

Or the fact that I existed?

How could you have never made a comment to your new woman,

And act like you never had another child with anyone except her?

 

For so many years,

I blamed myself!

I blamed myself for your disappearance,

For the reason you never called

Or the fact that mom had to work more than 2 jobs,

Just to put food on the table and a roof over your children’s heads,

Bevause not once did you send her a check to help out with the ones you helped create.

 

As I thought that you were everything,

That I was the one who was never good enough,

As I waited by the phone on my birthday,

And looked through the crowds at my meets.

I hope that it makes you proud!

Proud to know that the one girl who thought the world of you,

Hates your guts.

As the sound of your name Is full of hatred and despair.

Because you will never be my father,

You will never be my dad.

I hope you’re proud of yourself,

As I was daddy’s little girl,

I realized you were my biggest mistake,

You lied way to many times,

You were never there,

And that’s why you will never be my dad.”

 

I bend my head down,

As everyone claps,

I sit down and watch as every parent supports their child.

As mine will never show. 

© 2016 Hana Linzi


Author's Note

Hana Linzi
PLEASE, write a review of what you think of my work. I would love to know if you think something would sound better! Thank you and have a nice day!

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Reviews

A user named Terpsichore sent me over to take a look at your work.

I think this is self indulgent and overly sentimental. Excuse making for poor behavior is what I see throughout this "poem".

I find your concept of pity to be degrading and pathetic and I think you let poorly behaved children blame it solely on their parents, or lack of one.

This is emotional excuse making and I find it detestable.

It was written fine, average technical ability. Your concept is garbage to me though.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Beth Lindsay

5 Years Ago

I should start off by saying that if you find the subject matter "detestable" as you worded it, than.. read more
DDav

5 Years Ago

I liked your retort for the most part. I find it shallow to simply focus on technical aspects. I .. read more
Powerful and sad tale told. Many parent are hidden and don't give their children attention.
"I bend my head down,
As everyone claps,
I sit down and watch as every parent supports their child.
As mine will never show. "
I had AWOL parent but I was lucky. dear Grandparent raised me and they showed up for my events. I learn from bad parent to be a good one. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry. You left something for the reader to think about.
Coyote

Posted 5 Years Ago



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Added on February 21, 2016
Last Updated on February 21, 2016


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