BZZZZZZZ

BZZZZZZZ

A Poem by Hana Linzi

My words are becoming silent.

No one wants to listen of the words that speak.  

No one cares what sentences that protrude off my sweet lips.

I am not special, nor perfect.

 

The tears stream down my face.

Bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz

I am terrified to look at what now is sitting on that screen.

I take a peak: 25 messages.

Bzzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz

Now, 40 messages that I do not want to glance at.

 

You will be okay, just get some rest and everything will be alright in the morning.

Bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz, bzzz

That stupid phone won’t stop ringing.

The messenger starts going off,

The calls won’t stop,

PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

Tears run down my face as I pick up my phone.

 

I couldn’t believe it,

60 messages,

“It is funny that you would tell someone you’re taken,

We all know that is a lie.

Who would even want you?”

“I bet the only reason he is with you is because he’s sorry for you”

“He will get smart one day and dump you”.

“W***e, W***e, W***e”

“Does he truly know how many guys you’ve been with?

Herpes on the way for him!”

 

My eyes floor with tears.

I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!

I know that I’m not perfect oaky,

I know that the sun don’t shine when awaken,

I know that no one turns head when they see me.

I know that I am nothing, just let me be!

 

The Depression increased in the past few days.

I know that It will only get worse.

I know that I need to try.

“Hey, I love you, I want you”

My eyes fill up with tears, as I smile drastically.

I now have the reason to feel wanted, special.

Although we hardly talk anymore,

It is okay, I know that you love me.

 

After A few indirect post about us,

The harassment comes back

“You are just a hypocrite,

A w***e that could never love someone.

You never truly try to be with a man,

You are always the problem”

The tears once again fall.

I am tiered of the comments.

A few days later

“Hey, you have the worse attitude ever.

Everything with us was your fault,

With your attitude you will never make it

In this world.

Have fun with your miserable life”

As because I stood up for myself.

 

Bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzz

The phone keeps on ringing,

As those tears fall

I just want to give up…

As much As I don’t want to glance,

The messages accumulate on my screen.

34,35,36,37,38,39,40

As the number of messages increase.

I glance over.

“I heard that your boyfriend doesn’t love you”

“How does it feel to be his side hoe?”

“Give it up, you will never be special to anyone.”

“So I saw those nudes that you sent him,

 So now everyone else saw you

Everyone’s eyes are broken, burned out

With your hideous body.”

“Maybe you should just give up,

“You were so bad you killed off your last love,

When you going to do it with this one”

 

As all the messages keep coming,

Accumulating on the screen.

I break down in tears.

I am not beautiful,

I am not special,

I am not loved,

I am just. . . alone

As he deserve the best,

I am just a hoe,

His side hoe.

I begin to stare at my wrists.

I just want the pain to go away.

He avoids every time I ask

“Do you love me?”

“What makes me special?”

“Do you still want to be with me?”

 

As I know the other side won him over,

I just brake down in tears,

Without telling him a goodbye.

I relieve the pain one last time. 

© 2016 Hana Linzi


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Added on March 16, 2016
Last Updated on March 16, 2016