Throwback

Throwback

A Story by Anahat
"

“Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.” -Haruki Murakami

"
I closed my eyes and the raindrops poured on my face, drop by drop and the wind blew my hair all over the face, and all I imagined was a vision of you, the first time we ever met.

19March, By a lucky stroke of fate,I met you. Who knew the most dreadful day in a students life would turn out to be so lucky for me! The result day,the day you feared the most. No seat, you had no choice but to sit with m. I wonder how destiny arranges the perfect meeting of two people. That day, that very day was the turning point in my life. 

The very first day of the next class, we were seat partners. It seemed all the forces in the universe conspired to unite two hearts. From that day onwards this unusual thing became a routine. Sitting together, talking about anything and everything. Just like rain in november, we became the best of friends. 

What more could have been, all you could see was me and all I could see was you. Yeah,one of the best feelings in the world! We had fallen in love. The way you kept your eyes on mine as if everything else had vanished from the sight. Lots and lots of memories! 

Our calls started right from the morning. The first call to wake you up and the last one before you slept. Not letting me hang up was the best part!
Talking to each other every second of the day. The world seemed to be lost when you intertwined your fingers with mine. My stomach twitched with butterflies as if they were flying as high as me. I almost died when you came close to my ear saying ''I love you'' in the most passionate way,your  warm breath touching my neck and how I knew you meant every word you said. Our fights, break ups and patch ups, silly arguments, lots of promises! Ah! You gave me so much to remember.

I couldn't imagine us not being together. But who can unravel the games of destiny. We didn't understand what destiny wanted except for us being apart. A day ago we were two people who didn't let a second pass without talking and here we are today, 2 years and not a single hello! How my eyes want just one more glance of you and how my heart screams to talk to you, to hear your voice, to hear those three magical words again. I keep figuring out the reasons all those promises broke. How I sleep wetting my pillow with teardrops that fall for you every night and wake up imagining everything to be all right again, imagining you beside me. My days pass listening to those songs time and again. I spend my days writing about you, about us, about the reminiscences hoping something will bring you back! Everyday I sleep with the same hope and wake up with the same ache! But you're gone and this time forever! 

What time does to people, and how we are meant to accept it no matter how much it hurts. But then what else is Life! Ill remember all of this and so much more not only today or tomorrow but forever! 

© 2015 Anahat


Author's Note

Anahat
Yet to be continued!!
My first writing apart from the poems, its kinda prose...please be honest with the reviews ie why you liked it ?
Why you didnt like it?
Corrections? etc etc....

My Review

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Featured Review

Heartache is a great source of writing. you have some awkward sentence structures in a few places and some I'm not sure say completely what you meant to. On a whole this is a good start. Remember that most people do not continuously speak in exclamations! That would be very tiring for both the speaker and listener, so limit them when you write, or they loose impact. If you need more direction on the clean ups let me know through messaging. ~Jan

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Anahat

8 Years Ago

Yea even I felt that exclamations were actually too much...I'll correct them and take care of them .. read more



Reviews

Sad and sweet, but maybe use less exclamation marks?

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Anahat

8 Years Ago

yeah, thanks :)
I think this would be a lot better if the exclamation marks were toned down a little bit. Apart from that, for your first attempt I believe this is pretty good. The emotions are well portrayed, the pace is neither too fast, nor too slow. Good job, and keep writing. :)

Have a great day.

- Rhea Xx.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Anahat

8 Years Ago

I actually realize now that exclamation marks are actually too much🙈
Thanks for pointing .. read more
This is very heartfelt and touching. The way you bring out the smiling "awe" to the teary eyed "awe" is brilliant. There is definitely potential for a great emotional impact. There were some spelling errors and misused words throughout the piece, and some racing thoughts that seemed to jump back and forth. I would recommend adding more depth to the piece and giving more detail as to how the events occur. Thank you for sharing this piece. Enjoyed the read.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Anahat

8 Years Ago

Yup sure I'll take care...
Thank you so much ☺️
Its beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Anahat

8 Years Ago

Thank you :)
I have read this and definitely have to say that it is nicely written.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Anahat

8 Years Ago

Thank you :)
That was heartbreaking! The emotions of this story were very well conveyed. Excellent work!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Anahat

8 Years Ago

Thank you Jess :)
In love one has to be bold, not undiscerning but to know who one wants is something important. American would say go for it, you have to be inventive in love as you are in war. To win you must risk all, clever girls win the prize but make a battle plan and stick to it.
You write well about a lovesick girl, infatuated with the idea of love, it is normal... it happens all the time. I remember all the girl who chased me and cried on their pillows, I was not worthy of them, I snore in bed and sometime fart... a terrible thing to do but there it is, life is sometimes less than pure.
I could be your friend, but it would be unnatural a young girl with such an old man, but I wish you well in your writing. Boys may come and go but your skill in writing may remain your friend for a lifetime or two if you believe in reincarnation.


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Anahat

8 Years Ago

Thank you for a kind review Sir!
I guess nothing matters when you truly love someone!
.. read more
Frank

8 Years Ago

Love changes as you grow older, when young love is quite selfish, demanding even though women I beli.. read more
Anahat

8 Years Ago

Yeahh I guess..I agree with you Sir :) love is very powerful indeed!
It can do wonders and h.. read more
Someway between it becomes exaggeration and it is way too straightforward creation of character was needed here very much if you would have explained anyone of the character it would have been more awesome
A romance should be like that of a swan still behaviour of a human
Still first story way more beautifully written from what i had written first

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Anahat

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for the suggestion Ashwin :)
I'll take care! Thanks for stopping by :)
Awww! So sweet. It was small but it is your first so no complains. It was something like I without your permission was reading a page from your diary.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Anahat

8 Years Ago

Aww..thank you so much :)
And the complains are very welcome friend..that would help me impro.. read more
This story was over too soon, I wanted more of the time together, and some signs as to what went wrong. I agree with JayceeC about the exclamation marks, most of them could be eliminated and nothing would be lost.



Posted 8 Years Ago


Anahat

8 Years Ago

Yeahh I agree!
Thank you so much :)

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1041 Views
18 Reviews
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Added on April 21, 2015
Last Updated on September 17, 2015
Tags: love life laugh sadness pain tee

Author

Anahat
Anahat

Amritsar, Humanity, India



About
I am Anahat, that's the pen name for Harmeet. I believe poetry is but altruism muffled up in eternity. I joined this platform long back but haven't been active. Now I'm back and hope to connect .. more..

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