Liberation

Liberation

A Poem by Hayley

It was once that the birds flew with me

In perfect rhythm of the rising tide

Guided by the golden sun, 

A flock in sunrise.


The pale wind tasted pink and steadfast

On our liberated tongues;

Who had heavenly power in open bounty 

Had soared among


Us with a shepherding hand;

No longer will my scorched eye

Hold flames to the unyielding sun,

But with my Shepherd heed to eternity fly.

© 2011 Hayley


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Author's Note

Hayley
Breathe the words...

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Featured Review

Ah, i see such a beautiful picture here, and the one you chose does do it some justice, but not in the same way that my mind makes it. "But with my Shepherd heed to eternity fly."- that by far is a talented line. I can feel the freedom all over this poem hayley! "No longer will my scorched eye Hold flames to the unyielding sun, But with my Sepherd heed to eternity fly"- it's almost like you don't care anymore that the sun is hard to look at, or that pain still exists; you are free all the same. Sometimes when we make choices like this in life, we have to look out for ourselves and forget the rest for awhile. Great write!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Such a moving, beautiful picture.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Robin's comment helped return me to my focus... Each of us finds our self via the "paths" we wander. You DID depict a path with a unique eye of intent.

Chris

Posted 8 Years Ago


Such a wondrous poem, filled with so much life and brilliance. The words free fall in harmony and the rhyme is catchy. Liberation, yes. Liberation is what the reader feels when he imagines the sun, the tide and the birds that welcome the reader join in their orchestrated flight. Beautiful poem. Outstanding. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Geeezz, the clouds of reviewrs hovering
over you have sprung a leak.
You are practically smothered in breaths.
I hope you have had your flu shot.
No disrespect intended, just could not
resist. Such a collection of reviews.
You should be very proud.
Incidentally, the reviews are right on !
If I were capeable I would have cast
beautiful verbage among your clouds and
through the atmosphere so that no one
would doubt the terrible beauty of your
writing.
----- Eagle Cruagh

Posted 8 Years Ago


This is so very Emily Bronte. Very transcendental too, your combination of phrasing is very readable.

I can taste the liberation and the goreous liberty of spiritual sentiment in this.

Posted 8 Years Ago


thinking of my old friend Jonathan Livingston ...

Posted 8 Years Ago


Perfection. It breathes like fresh air. Excellent work.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I adore the poems which swing with the nature... those who have the fantastic view of the mother-earth... the colors, the elements... and the poetry is the divine terrestrial mirror of the mother-nature where the echos and the colors silkily reflect... and here I find the perfection, in your poem. I exactly breathed the words. Stunning description, too peaceful and smooth.

Posted 8 Years Ago


You did breathe the words....the outcome is gorgeous writing my dear. You have taken what can be cliche and breathed new life into it!

Posted 8 Years Ago


I felt like a Phoenix in flight.. :) Beautifully written...x


Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on September 6, 2011
Last Updated on September 6, 2011

Author

Hayley
Hayley

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I'm a 21-year-old undergraduate college student majoring in business. I'm not on the cafe as much as I would like to be. Don't be a stranger. Side note: I do not rate writing. This is eye-op.. more..

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