Reversal.

Reversal.

A Story by Heartswell.
"

Short but not very sweet. - He loves her. She love him. She breaks him down. He loves her even more.

"
Her and Him.

"If you keep doing that, I'm gonna close the door whenever you're late and leave you to cry your eyes out until they rot," she starts off with a gentle gesture towards the crying man sitting across her. 
He looks at her in pained disbelief and can't hold back the rest of his tears.

"If you're gonna keep doing that still, I'll leave you," she emphasizes her words with a cold look that drifted away into the nothingness surrounding them. "It's okay to be sensitive, but this is  too much even for me." 
The pain in his chest multiplies by endless endless zero-decorated-ones and he begins to feel sick. His stomach cries out against the pungent taste of her words, and he does, actually, get sick on the piece of floor next to her feet.

She keeps the same expression and doesn't move a muscle. Just leaves and walks right out of the door. "I'm not gonna clean that up, sugar."
Because she knew she caused it.

She caused him to breakdown, lovestruck in her locks and the magic of her cruel cruel love.
He lets his tears loose and cries like the baby he is reduced to. He lets the heat of his weeping face burn his fingertips and turn his palms red with heartbreak.
Her footsteps are the last thing that are left from the ghost of her haughty pedestal so he kisses  them, so hopelessly in love with the scent of her shoes, the scent of her body, the scent of her.
He kisses the dirt-tainted footsteps, turns them into salty mud with his tears, wipes at the rest of them and cherishes them under his fingernails.

She watches all that from outside the door, from the corner of her eye and the crack of her heart. Then she sits down, on the floor, the dirty sinking floor, and puts her fingertips to her lips.
And cries.

© 2010 Heartswell.


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Reviews

Wow. That's all I can say. My heart was literally folding in itself as I was reading this. Quite a tearjerker this one is.

It's not a long piece, but it's compact with heavy emotion. And when you think you could only hate the girl, in the end you're sitting there forgoing the disdain, opting for curiosity. I'd like to know what her deal is.

Details is everything here. Your descriptions are solid and bountiful. It's almost too close to being too bountiful, but it's not enough to have the reader drown in it. It could be considered as keeping us afloat. The repetition is nice. I don't think it was necessary, but it's not fatal. The story still moves along quite naturally with that large wave of emotions it carries. Nicely done.

Thanks for the read.

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is POWERFUL stuff!!! Reading this would make anyone cherish their partner more. The idea of kissing the footsteps was an excellent one. So different. You did and excellent job here well done!!

Posted 13 Years Ago



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138 Views
2 Reviews
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Added on September 15, 2010
Last Updated on September 15, 2010

Author

Heartswell.
Heartswell.

Middle East, Kuwait



About
I write because I cannot hide, nor block, what bubbles within my chest. Born and raised in this world, but has been stuck in another for the last twenty years, Fatma is just your ordinary twisted .. more..

Writing



Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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