A Poem by Hello, Elle

Not my best!

The sound of the wind
Slapping the leaves
The sirens in the distance
What do they mean?
Where are we,
And why are we here?
Tell me the truth
Everything is so unclear

© 2010 Hello, Elle

Author's Note

Hello, Elle
I wrote this months ago. I found it in my journal and decided to post it. Tell me your thoughts and opinions, con-crit is always welcome!

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good one see mine too "QUEST OF LIFE".

Posted 12 Years Ago

Beautiful beautiful beautiful

Posted 12 Years Ago

I love this! I just saw you as an online reader and thought I'd let you know that you've got talent. This is great, just let it keep flowing from your mind into your pen and you could really add to this piece :)

Posted 12 Years Ago

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Posted 12 Years Ago

i really liked this, i think if you added more it would be even better but its great the way it is, good job on this :)

Posted 12 Years Ago

Wow, I just read that you are 15!! My goodness girl, keep writing.

Posted 12 Years Ago

Hello, Elle!

The first line is very good; I enjoy the verb "slapping".

Play more with the "pneumatic" title. How does the use of wind energy dispel or obscure truths?

I admire the simplicity of the answering lines, and the big questions seem appropriate in contrast to the physical impetus. However, the line "everything is so unclear" feels like it be a little more crafted, as it currently seems a little too general.

Otherwise, beautiful phrasing, especially in the first two lines.

Keep it up!

Posted 12 Years Ago

Truthfully, I love it! I believe you're really talented. I can't wait to read more!

Posted 12 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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8 Reviews
Added on October 11, 2010
Last Updated on October 11, 2010


Hello, Elle
Hello, Elle

Neverland, CT

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