Dreamweaver

This is a poem that has been around in various versions for awhile, and now is hopefully nearing a more complete state!

Dreamweaver, take hold of my thread
And entangle it within your pattern
My path has crossed yours ten thousand times
It's time we were clothed in its fabric

For so long I felt we were cut from the same cloth
It's only right we should be fitted together
Now let's hem tight each fray in your double stitch
And relax in it's comfort forever

Dreamweaver, sew your stitch strong
So that we will never be torn apart
Hold me close, tight, and long
Weave a dream that can hold us both fast

Thread the needle and stick it in
Close these wounds of the space between us
Make whole these parts never meant to be two
And heal the tear made through life's indifference

Dreamweaver, weaving thoughts into dreams
Sleeping silently in another world unseen
Living in your own imagination surreal
Weave a place for me in your midnight tapestry

Brocade our lives into a beautiful story
One that children's fingers will love retracing
Leaving worn edges in all the best parts
Softening the fabric into comfort for embracing

Reviews

[Traci]

As the web of your dreams surface, you my friend are the creator, the Dreamweaver making them reality. The metaphor and imagery is splendid throughout this piece, portraying the intricate beauty in this write, making it known it is dear to your heart and soul. I love the last stanza especially knowing our lives are formed into beautiful stories, that our children and future generations will embrace. How can I not give you 100/100, your words touch the heart and soul, wisdom speaks volumes, and you love should keep these dreams alive, seek publication!!!

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Dang, well this is a definite mandate from you to seek publication, and I am certainly positively impressed by your resolve to send me that way. I am touched, but still have this lurking fear there is more to do. I always feel like I have to tinker with something just a little more...you know? I guess that no matter how good others may think you are, it is never possible to be confident until you recognize that success is fully gratified in your own heart. I am getting there as a result of the direct help people have given me on this site, but I still feel I am not quite there yet. I have faith and trust that I can get there though. I do feel that sooner or later I can begin to do this more naturally and more easily. It is still a very outside the box way of thinking for me, but I tend to deal well with doing an unusual activity often enough that I can master it, even when I have to accept I am not really capable in my own mind of something and it takes pretending a little to get myself to see how to make it true. Does that makes sense? In any event, thanks so much again and I will certainly keep plugging away until I feel I have this down. By then I think I can easily go back and see which of my current poems is really worthy. For now I feel like I still have something more to learn before I am really confident.

[Traci]

Yes it makes perfect sense, and you will know when the time is right. There is always something to learn, always something to understand. Keep writing and I shall keep reading, and working on your confidence :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

You are a magnificent Dreamweaver, Robert...
This blows me away!...

Your whirlwind of thoughts have channeled the deepest of reveries, to heal souls...

I love how you weave this exquisite tapestry...every thread has a powerful pull...
The ebb and flow of dreaming is braided together in fluid motion...

Your deft fingers gentle play upon your readers heart, especially mine...
like a Magical Maestro of your own musings, you entrance...and I am spellbound...

Dreams exist because of magic, such as this.... ~xoxo~

I am beyond amazed!

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

I am beyond amazed at your review!!! Robbie, your review is as much a work of art as my original poem!! I love this line:
"The ebb and flow of dreaming is braided together in fluid motion..."

Thank you very much and as always it takes one to know one. I am still putting music to your piece, by the way. It is going to take an avant garde kind of music though. It will be fun, your review inspired me to think more about those gentle fingers!

[Robbie~xoxo~]

awwww I am so happy to know that you are inspired, my dear friend!
After all, you are the one with the gentle heart, (and gentle fingers)...
I'm glad you enjoyed my response to your poetry... that's what I do... I respond to your words.
Sending you love~xoxo~:)

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Wow, I am in need of some quiet time to send you a well-thoughtout poem/song to really move you. I get a little stage fright honestly! Lyrics are hit and miss for me and always have been. Ironically I started writing poetry as a way to write better lyrics, but I discovered I was better at poems!

[Nusquam Esse]

Oddly enough, from the very beginning I was drawing connections to the Fates of ancient mythology, weaving our vicissitudes of life upon their loom. And therefore, I couldn't shake that nagging feeling that somehow our dreams , lives, and our fates may somehow be intertwined; which in turn made this poem dance amorously at the edge of my mind. I love your usage of brocade, it really fits your theme well, and I can just see the images of dreams and lives being intertwined as they are embroidered into the heavy fabric which makes up this 'beautiful story', one which our prosperity will run their fingers through, combing for some hidden meaning. It is an incredibly powerful last stanza! I love how powerful your poetry is, and how creative it is as well. At least 90% of the poems on WC are all the same story, same recycled angst and myopic 'love'; lacking structure or technique. Thankfully there are those like you which defy this 'steeped tradition of mediocrity', and revive a sanguine rapture for poetry which was all but dead.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Your review does you great justice as a writer! I love when reviews feel as honest and yet as complete as this! Thank you for referencing Greek Myth!! That you got that reference is exciting for me, because I always like to put subtle classical influences and ideas in my poetry. I have a fairly decent knowledge of ancient world mythology and philosophy as a student of Archaeology. This poem felt special to me, and I really liked the word "brocade" as well! Thank you. It seems we are somewhat on the same wavelength sometimes! You pick up on some of my favorite parts! Thanks for a terrific and well-written review, and I hope we can keep up the mutual insight!

[Nusquam Esse]

I'm glad you enjoyed my review, I definitely enjoy your reviews as well. It's quite relieving to have someone on here on a similar wavelength, as you put it.

[Priscilla Sayers]

I love this one as the use of metaphor is fluid throughout painting images as I read, feel and understand its intricate weaving. Dreams are sometimes prompts to wake us up to what can be. You did a beautiful piece where you have become the one, creating emotion with words that bring dreams to surface.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Your interpretation adds to my creation in truly meaningful ways, Priscilla! This poem has been in the works a long time and little pieces are still coming together. It is a challenge, as you say, to keep to a metaphor consistently for a lengthy poem. I am still finding more ways that the metaphor works though, thanks to you and Elisa and a few others here who are giving me great ideas!! This may continue to evolve and change, and I hope it will because there is still something that I feel I haven't covered in it. I love your interpretation (which is close to my own, but elaborates on it) that I am the one creating the web of my dreams...That I can bring them to the surface and make them realities. I had not really considered this direction. Now that I have been lent such a great idea by you, I may well have to work on using it!!

[Tina Louise UK]

Wish I had the words to describe how amazing this is, it left me with a sigh and a smile...just beautiful :) x

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

I hardly know how to react when encountering such kind responses to my poetry as this! I have been working on this poem for a surprisingly long amount of time. This is one of those you might think was the work of a few minutes (like some others I have mentioned) but I actually took many years to piece this together in a few separate sessions. I mean, clearly I have not been working on it that long in any kind of consistent way, but I HAVE been working on it, on and off. It feels still slightly incomplete. Elisa had some good ideas and I am still mulling them over.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Ro,

Here I am again, after yesterday,when my long review failed to come in...
This is a write out of your heart, a very difficult one, to maybe re-read, and to bestow upon your readers, and even yourself, but nevertheless purity and beauty.
I always found the "term" dreamweaver very deep, and interesting, and it has
much to think about, your poem here gives me that, in your own vision, of it.
It feels like star crossed dreams, in your world, of unconciousness, and hers,
So many times, they've crossed, but it remains untouchable... (beautiful essence there), that makes it so illusive. Then your ending says it all... there lays so much hope and trust.

P.s. for me personally, I wouldn't change it in the ending, to more... I love it the way it is mysteriously interrupted... but that's me, if you decide to do that, maybe you can write a couplet two? in poetic form? just a new episode of the first one? that could be also in another form... just to make the fact clear there are two different but beautiful entities here. :)

Beautiful work my friend. As always.

- Elisa

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

You give me a good idea!!! Thanks for an excellent and constructive review!! I love that I can give the idea of a "dreamweaver" new meaning for you! This was my partial reason for writing this, the act of deciding what that word meant to me as well. I like the ideas you give me about crossing but not touching!! Great idea!!! I really will use that.

I'm happy I could help a bit here... I'm very curious with what you will come up ;-) that's so nice of writing, and of different minds... they bring always new insights to eachother. You're very welcome R. always a pleasure to read you. :)

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Yeah, I always thought this poem was fertile ground and your ideas are really helping plant something that I need to tend a bit more to see what fruit it produces. I am quite certain when the ideas are mature enough, there should be at least a few more stanzas.

[Shirlena]

This is such an elegant and picturesque piece. so rich and conversational. There were so many angles that you want to go back and read it again...I have to.

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Thank you so much, Shirlena!! I am really glad when people get something out of my crazy ramblings!! HA! I actually wasn't sure about posting this one. I have a long list of poems I have been working on a long time that are more or less done. This didn't quite feel like it was perfected yet, and it may not be. The fact you can get it and like it enough to go back to is very reassuring and is exactly why I am on this site!! It matters so much to get good quality feedback!!! I really need it! Thank you.

[Shirlena]

It was lovely and my pleasure Robby.