Spaceship of the Apes

Spaceship of the Apes

A Poem by Robert Tusitala O'Neill
"

Inspired by a fellow poet on here! Thank you for the idea!!

"
A little box in my hand to replace my mind
Information it gives I accept blind
Written right here, it must be true

He who controls the box alters reality
Authorities use it to track me
Mind control at the blink of an eye

Find someone to say just what you want to hear!
Such empowering misinformation!!
Time flies by draining my life as it goes

Thoughts wrung from my head 'til nothing's left
Only universal mind group think pop culture
Grammar, syntax, semantics lost in chaotic sloth

Remember when words had meaning?
Remember when the young sought the old?
Remember when speech was preferred to text?

Once we knew how to connect...

© 2015 Robert Tusitala O'Neill


Author's Note

Robert Tusitala O'Neill
This is awfully freeform, flowing out of a simple idea. I'm opened to any suggestions to develop it further!

July 29th, 2015 rewritten. Let me know what you think of the changes.

My Review

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Featured Review

So this is better than the idea itself
It is not awful at all simple and powerful but if you truly want to make it better I suggest more images of the chaos of mind and a bit more irony of the situation more of these lines
"Time flies by as my life is drained 
They are squeezing the thoughts right out of my brain 
Nothing's left of me but the universal mind 
Grammar, syntax, semantics lost in chaotic sloth "
But all in all its great and you took the idea to higher level
Well done :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Tusitala O'Neill

9 Years Ago

Thanks so much!!! I will genuinely use your intuition and suggestions!!!
Yasmin

9 Years Ago

:)
Please honour me with a visit to my profile I would love to know what you think of my work .. read more



Reviews

So this is better than the idea itself
It is not awful at all simple and powerful but if you truly want to make it better I suggest more images of the chaos of mind and a bit more irony of the situation more of these lines
"Time flies by as my life is drained 
They are squeezing the thoughts right out of my brain 
Nothing's left of me but the universal mind 
Grammar, syntax, semantics lost in chaotic sloth "
But all in all its great and you took the idea to higher level
Well done :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Robert Tusitala O'Neill

9 Years Ago

Thanks so much!!! I will genuinely use your intuition and suggestions!!!
Yasmin

9 Years Ago

:)
Please honour me with a visit to my profile I would love to know what you think of my work .. read more

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304 Views
1 Review
Added on December 17, 2014
Last Updated on July 29, 2015

Author

Robert Tusitala O'Neill
Robert Tusitala O'Neill

Alameda, CA



About
I'm foolishly romantic. I like realism and surrealism in all different forms of art. I feel that when you can use reality to show your truth, then you have achieved the most powerful form of art pos.. more..

Writing



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