Golden Goodbye

They stood on that golden moor, holding hands

The warm breeze whispered secrets in their ears, until

the silence got too loud for them to hear it.

The long stretches of shadows held telltale hints

of the approaching evening.

I should go, she says. Breaking the silence.

Little did she know, also his heart.

He watched her vanish behind the line of horizon that

was becoming a little unclear.

As he asked himself - 

Why had I let her go ?

He stared after the empty space, where he had last glimpsed her

his heart shattered into irreplaceble pieces,

like a pristine slide of glass.

As he wondered to himself -

Why had he let go ?

An age has passed, the years were merciless

Scarring the hills with wrinkles around their eyes.

But the grass was still ochre

the trees were still green.

He was still on his knees, where she had left him

Like a statue of unending love. Awaiting.

Author's Note

Please critique this? My first attempt at a poem longer than 5 lines so it's probably pretty shabby. Your opinions? (:

Reviews

[.]

hey hey--this is a great piece of surrealist-naturism
overflowing will grandiose description-and you could
feel the desperation blowing through every sentence
of this opulent poem-and then dysphoria in the ending

A Magnificent piece of poetry!!!

james:-)

[nono]

Pretty nice job. I like it nice job!

[Brandon]

this was a very heartfelt poem i loved it very much and hope to see more keep up the good work