A Chapter by HeyJadeXO

"Did you hear that?" Havyn asks in shock.


I nod my head in agreement.


My heart beats to a stopwatch like pace, it counts me down to the next moment of insanity. The rush of the chase accelerates my stride. I can hear Havyn’s heavy steps cracking the earth below his feet. The sudden impact of the wall causes my sneakers to screech across the ground.


A dead end.


I wipe the sweat from my forehead with my right sleeve. A door is waiting at my side.



I point it out to Havyn. He nods his head. I reach for the doorknob, fearless of what could be on the other side. Havyn takes a large breath as I turn it.


The door opens with an annoying creak.


So much for going undetected.


The room is dark except for a small desktop lamp attached to a drawing table. Havyn snags the back of my t-shirt, choking me. He pulls me closer to him in a loose embrace and I see the cause of his reaction.


A significant figure is standing in the corner of the room. A blanket covers the body like a tarp, but the feet can be seen. I start searching my pockets for the scissors, but sigh, remembering that I had left them at the gym.


My foot taps feverishly.


Havyn reaches into his pocket, pulling out a pair of gloves. He places them on each hand irritatingly slow, squeezing his hands to make sure they are snug.


Havyn rotates around me so he is standing in front. 


"Stay here," he mouths to me.


He reaches behind him with his palm open, towards me, raising the seriousness of his command. His steps seem like an eternity; for a man of his stature, his stealth is something to admire. I watch him place his hands around the figure’s head in preparation for an attack.


My palms start to sweat.


Havyn clamps down on the figure so hard it falls on top of him. I watch in horror as the two bodies roll around on the floor. He places the body in a chokehold; realize it isn't trying to defend itself. The arms remained lifeless on its side. Havyn is applying so much strength to the hold that his eyelids are shut. I walk over and kick his arm. He swats me away, but I kick again.


He gets up and pushes me back. I grab his shirt tightly and point to the body on the floor.


Havyn squints his eyes.


I pull the blanket off of the figure.


"A mannequin," I confirm.


Havyn leans his body against the wall. His palms slap into the concrete. I wipe the sweat from my palms on my jeans. I gesture for him to close the door to the room.


"Just don't want any more surprises," I explain.


The shut door allows the desk lamp to illuminate more of the room. A bulletin board is covered with various newspapers. All of the articles are headlines featuring accidents or obituaries. I spot a flashlight on the table, and shake the light to revive it. A beam awakens. I point it towards Havyn.


"Did you see anything come in here?" I ask.


"No. I mean I'm not sure. Sorry man this place is distracting," Havyn rambles.


He rubs his arms up and down.


I use the light to read the articles closer and flag Havyn to look as well.


"Do you see what I see?" I inquire.


He stares blankly.


"Most of these are about the same car accident from different newspapers," I say.


He tightens his ponytail. I feel like someone is watching us.


Havyn turns away from me and begins fumbling through the desk. He holds up some large sheets of papers.


"Dude, what do you think these are?" He asks laying the papers on the desk.


"Blueprints? For dolls? That can't be possible. Look at the dimensions. Six feet!" he exclaims.


I remain fixated on the articles. A family in a deadly crash. Two adults and one child killed.


"Ares...Ares!" he shouts at me.


His voice startles me out of my trance.


"What? Yeah, that does seem strange. It's like a little shop of horrors down here," I reply, uneasy.


I hear little footsteps galloping outside the hallway. Opening the door quickly, I pop my head out to try and catch a glimpse of the cause and see the same small silhouette prancing down the hall in the opposite direction.

© 2016 HeyJadeXO

My Review

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A wild chapter my friend. You create wild situation and bad ending. Left a wide open ending for the next chapter. A fast moving and powerful chapter. Thank you my friend for sharing the excellent chapter.

Posted 3 Years Ago

This was an excellent chapter Jade, I like the detail, its enough to get me thinking and hungry for more!
Since my very first read the pace is perfect nice progressive flow. R xo

Posted 3 Years Ago

Creepy little feet! Can't wait to read next chapter! I'm hooked! Again great imagery! I'm very captivated through the entire chapter!

Posted 3 Years Ago

I haven't read the previous chapters, will need to go back and check them out. I like the story line here, but it feels stilted, formal in the writing. A little too much detail in some places.
Havyn reaches into his pocket, pulling out a pair of gloves. He places them on each hand irritatingly slow, squeezing his hands to make sure they are snug.
 Could be
Havyn pulls a pair of gloves from his pocket and puts them on irritatingly slow, squeezing his hands to make sure they are snug.

Consider dropping some of the unnecessary connectives.
There is much to like here. Keep going.

Posted 3 Years Ago

Great chapter.
The story is unfolding nicely...and the reader is drawn deeper and deeper, wanting more and more. Your voice in this is still strong, and unique. The pacing is give enough details to paint the picture, but not so much that the reader is bogged down in it. Nicely done.

Posted 3 Years Ago

Sorry I haven't been focused enuf lately to devote myself to a longer read like your entire book here. This is the first time I've read from it. Your storytelling & the mechanics of your writing are very good. I like the way you include some vivid visuals, but not so much description that it bogs the story down. The descriptions are nicely brief & the pacing of the story is nicely brisk. Good dialogue & suspense & build-up to the mannequin fumble.

Posted 3 Years Ago


3 Years Ago

No problem.Thanks for taking the time to check it out !
Quinn W

3 Years Ago

I completely agree barleygirl. I think she does an amazing job with descriptions and the way she tel.. read more

3 Years Ago

Can't do it without you Quinn !
I love this chapter Jade! I can't wait to read more :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


3 Years Ago

Thank you !
Can't wait to see where this story is heading to.

Posted 3 Years Ago


3 Years Ago

Thanks for reading =]
Well I'm hooked! Too much suspense! Can't wait to read more! Good work ☺

Posted 3 Years Ago


3 Years Ago

Thanks for reading!
Dr. YumnaKay

3 Years Ago

You are welcome! ☺
An admirably written and suspenseful chapter.

Posted 3 Years Ago


3 Years Ago

thanks for reading

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15 Reviews
Added on December 29, 2016
Last Updated on December 30, 2016



West Haven, CT

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