I SEE YOU

I SEE YOU

A Poem by Casey

I S E E Y O U 
Looking in to the pools of black you call eyes 
The secrets flood forth 
Like hot tar coating the eyes 
Of those around you 
Rumors surround your charming persona 
Clouding your soul 
And you bleed it every weekend 
Calmly you stand there with stubble 
Face full of sand paper and hair 
Dark from the lack of a shower 
Revealing the lack of time  
A rough weekend indeed 
But then days come 
Where the innocence of you is revealed 
And the vulnerability of ghosts past 
Wear heavily on your sleeve 
Eyes looking like they will soon rain with emotion and 
Flood those around you 
Paralyzing them with sorrow 
Wrinkles and circles encompass 
The once illuminated light 
That used to shine through Peeks of darkness 
But now hold in that light and bury It deep 
Within the recesses Of the open wounds that won't heal

© 2014 Casey


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Featured Review

Looking in to the pools of black you call eyes
The secrets flood forth
Like hot tar coating the eyes
Of those around you

^ This is a fantastic introduction, I love how you keep bringing up the person's eyes and describe just how much more there is to them than you realize.

Rumors surround your charming persona
Clouding your soul
And you bleed it every weekend

^ This made me stop and think, I love this. My favorite stanza by far. Truly remarkable.

Calmly you stand there with stubble
Face full of sand paper and hair
Dark from the lack of a shower
Revealing the lack of time
A rough weekend indeed

^ This is great. It moves the story along and still describes as much as possible without giving away too much or taking out the universal feel of this piece.

But then days come
Where the innocence of you is revealed
And the vulnerability of ghosts past
Wear heavily on your sleeve

^ The descriptions in this stanza are really well done. They show your voice and really leave an impact.

Eyes looking like they will soon rain with emotion and
Flood those around you
Paralyzing them with sorrow

^ I love that you brought us back to the eyes and are now actually describing even more than I originally believed you would about this character.

Wrinkles and circles encompass
The once illuminated light
That used to shine through Peeks of darkness
But now hold in that light and bury It deep
Within the recesses Of the open wounds that won't heal

^PERFECT conclusion.
I absolutely love this write.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Casey

7 Years Ago

I love the fact that you pick apart my poems and take the time to really go through and point out th.. read more



Reviews

Truly remarkable. Love the imagery here.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Casey

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your kind words fellow artist
Looking in to the pools of black you call eyes
The secrets flood forth
Like hot tar coating the eyes
Of those around you

^ This is a fantastic introduction, I love how you keep bringing up the person's eyes and describe just how much more there is to them than you realize.

Rumors surround your charming persona
Clouding your soul
And you bleed it every weekend

^ This made me stop and think, I love this. My favorite stanza by far. Truly remarkable.

Calmly you stand there with stubble
Face full of sand paper and hair
Dark from the lack of a shower
Revealing the lack of time
A rough weekend indeed

^ This is great. It moves the story along and still describes as much as possible without giving away too much or taking out the universal feel of this piece.

But then days come
Where the innocence of you is revealed
And the vulnerability of ghosts past
Wear heavily on your sleeve

^ The descriptions in this stanza are really well done. They show your voice and really leave an impact.

Eyes looking like they will soon rain with emotion and
Flood those around you
Paralyzing them with sorrow

^ I love that you brought us back to the eyes and are now actually describing even more than I originally believed you would about this character.

Wrinkles and circles encompass
The once illuminated light
That used to shine through Peeks of darkness
But now hold in that light and bury It deep
Within the recesses Of the open wounds that won't heal

^PERFECT conclusion.
I absolutely love this write.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Casey

7 Years Ago

I love the fact that you pick apart my poems and take the time to really go through and point out th.. read more

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Added on July 23, 2014
Last Updated on July 23, 2014

Author

Casey
Casey

NY



About
I'm currently a student who is enthusiastic about writing. I write mainly poetry and short stories. My writing tends to be on the dark side but is not always so. more..

Writing
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A Poem by Casey