THE DRIVE

The lines in the middle of the road become one

My eyes growing heavy as each mile passes

 

The congestion of the night is falling ill on my space

The darkness is unwelcoming, growing thicker as hours pass

 

Seeing visions of past dreams stepping onto the road in front of me

My God!

Sleep deprivation has plagued my mind.

 

Without thinking about any particular thing, my eyes creep up

to the rear view mirror

I take a silent gulp

My throat falling into my heart

 

I suddenly feel this presence, coldly crawling over my back

I see a full figured man, translucent and all but just a top hat on his head

 

At a dead stare towards me, saying nothing, and not moving

 

I closed my eyes petrified

My heart would not stop thumping against my cavity chest

Knocking to get out

 

Struggling to take any kind of breath

Holding it in instead

 

There is nowhere to escape but to merely sit and drive

Praying the whole time that the devil would go away

Has he come for me?

 

Crying out in mercy from the escape of this death behind me

Why me?

 

I threw my eyes up to the ceiling , then down to the mirror again...

He was gone.

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Chris]

This one HAS bite! Raising the neck hairs is a job well done.

[iliOZ]

deep and sad words.
we put so much energy into setting up our emotions while we know (at least as per sir newton) energy cannot be lost, it will always be converted.
have a good night's rest and see the world entirely different in the morning.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very intense read... the devil does like to mess with the mind. LOve your style, free verse is the best.

[Sami Khalil]

A very dark but a very good write neverethless...Bravo

[Star]

Thanks Sami I appreciate it.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Definitely suspenseful, and powerful in terms of an eerie "make you think" concept. I think that we all have visited this sort of thing at one time or another--sleep deprevation and a certain mindset creating "illusions" that speak to us, guide us, scare us, etc. I like the concept, and the way that the speaker went to faith in the face of what she considered "the devil". Perhaps a little work could be done on the form; just to smooth things out, perhaps make it a little more concise in parts, but overall, well done.

[Star]

Hey I appreciate the input. I could elaborate more and will try to work on it. Thanks so much.

[Sheila Kline]

The suspense in this one is enough to kill me!
Whew, I sure am glad he left!!
That prayer worked for sure!! AMEN!!!

[Star]

I know ha? Lol...I had a friend who was going to work one night as she works night like I do and she looked up in the mirror because she felt someone staring at her and it was a ghostly figure as she described it and so I just used it in this poem.