On The Edge

Stretch your arms high up to the sky.
Easy there,
It's not like you're gonna fly.
You might fall off you know.
So, keep it slow.
Easy there,
This broken edge won't carry you anymore.
It's all falling apart, that well-done decor.
Stand still.
This is going to be worse than falling off a hill.
I'm afraid fastening your seat belt,
Won't do you any good.
It's all going to melt.
It'll happen as fast as fire eats wood.
I bet you weren't even listening
to what I've just said.
So don't go on covering,
Your sick twisted head.
I recommend you close your eyes.
Oh, how time flies.
Your time has come.
Excuse me, I'll start to hum.
As I watch you collapse.

Author's Note

Review please.

Reviews

[SoLongAndThanksForAllTh..]

Reading this poem it seems to have a very personal quality. I'm not sure if it's your choice of writing using direct address - which lends a certain familiarity or something else. I'm hoping that it's not from personal experience. Whatever it is you've found a way of generating a certain intimacy with the reader.

The subject matter is very sad. To me the narrator is telling us their own story but from the view point of another. This gives the poem something of a detatched feeling but it's very easy to symathise with her as she tells us so many times how her fate is inevitable, "I'm afraid fastening your seat belt won't do you any good" - it's all so very tragic.

You've done a great job here, I'm looking forward to reading more of your work!

[TL Boehm]

strongly penned, laced with angst and I picked up on a bit of dark humor as well. Not sure why. Well done though.

[♪GetUse2MyMelodie..]

Was I the only one that found this a bit humorous? I just like how it took that direction. It had it's own unique, bitter tone. Very angry. All I can imagine is a person pushing someone off a cliff but with a wave and a smile. Nice work.

[raindroplove]

love it :)

[Dante Balsote]

Easy there. :))

[No use.]

jaded bitterness , self-loathe, and a whole lot of fear .
learned helplessness perhaps.... i'm hoping you are a bit further from the edge now though.

[Calypso]

Sad. There is so much anger and hurt in this.

[PaperDoll]

"Easy there." Whether you're speaking to yourself or someone else, sometimes we all need to be reminded to reign it in a bit. Nicely written. :)

[Janice Ann]

Wonderfully written. I understand it as a conversation with yourself or a dear friend as life plays its cruel games. The edge...is the start or finish of your lives. Wonderful. I hope to read more of writing.

[Jeff]

The edge is a very bad place to be. Sometimes we end up there and need to fight our ways back from it.