Friend

..

A dim candle it is
A dear friend of his
A fog-maker
A happiness-faker

Inhale
Exhale
Moments it lasts
Memories it casts
Silent as it is
A dear friend it is

..
 

Author's Note

Review please.

Reviews

[Libby McKeown]

This is a mysterious ribbon of smoke you have here. My only suggestion is removing the happiness-faker line. It makes the poem droll and instantly changes the direction of the work into cliche. Keep the mystery flowing, as it allows for more open interpretation. Just my suggestion. I enjoy your style, and look forward to reading more.

[Rafif]

Thank you.

[kaylynnmelody♥]

Very enjoyable read. Thank you.

[Coyote Poetry]

Nice vision create by your words. I like the gentle feel of the sentence. Thank you for the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[TL Boehm]

nicely penned. It takes me about a page just to get started - but this was a vivid - complete image. A wonderful write.

[fireblossom]

I picture someone sitting in a dim room smoking alone. Few words often create the most dramatic vision. Well done.

[I'm Just me:)]

creative interesting and AMAZING!!

[Norma M Sutton]

Different. It's interesting.

[YouoweYoupay]

"I thought it was too simple and stupid :B" The stupid author said, who is clearly unapreciative of her own work. You have not been reading, you have been busy. Because I simply hear ur news. But your mind has started focusing on that delicious ability to strike a few words, in a moment of silence with oneself, few words that convey alot of meaning. Thus is the essence of poetry. Loved it. 75/100. I say you are an artist, I say you are a writer. I say you write. : )

[Mauricio Montoya]

What this piece makes me think of is a cigarette but forgive if I’m wrong poetry is always open to interpretation to the eyes of the reader but I do like how it comes together for it can have many meaning that will ether bring joy or sadness in the end we’ve accomplish our goal.
keep on writing my friend.