Little Miss Muffet,2014

Updated version of an old English nursery rhyme

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet,
eating her curds and whey,
when along came a farmer,
a right rustic charmer,
who immediately wooed, made a play.

He plied her with wine,
"have more you'll be fine,"
before hiding his sausage inside,
then when he was done having his fun,
he left thanking her for the ride.

NOW.............

Pregnant Miss Muffet is having to rough it
'cos dads thrown her out on the street,
and the smooth rustic charmer who did this to harm her
has legged it, was quick on his feet.

So the moral of this is don't ever kiss
or open your legs 'cos you're flattered,
as with a kid on the way and nowhere to stay
your life could be properly shattered.

Author's Note

An oldie given an airing

Reviews

[David Lewis Paget]

That's a great little piece of whimsy. It would be so much better if you arranged it in stanzas though.

Little Miss Muffet, sat on her tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey,
When along came a farmer, a right rustic charmer,
Who immediately wooed, made a play.

[Gee]

Have just this moment finished reading one of your poems,brilliant.Haven't got a clue what a stanza is,thought it was a German tank,but will take on board any comments,advice you can shovel my way.Thanks for reading.

[ANTO]

Stanzas are groups of lines usually Gee mate - verses, we might call them too, as David kindly shows an example (a 4 line group/stanza) - they aid the reader and make the work look good. Presentation is part of the whole package.

[Gee]

Cheers Anto.I suppose I should take more notice of the presentation,no good putting a t**d in an Armani suit,wouldn't give the required effect.It's good that people like yourself actually offer advice and don't just read,think"that's shite"but then post a comment to massage the ego of the poet.Keep up the good work.

[ANTO]

Thats a nice thing to say mate - Its hard to critique without fearing blowing out the flame Gee - but we are all learning mate, if you want you can PM me and I'll show you some sites I use to learn.

[Gee]

Might well take you up on that in the future,depends on how frustrated I get with myself.With regards to reviewing I tend to shy away from speaking my mind because people very rarely want any negativity,constructive or not,whereas I'm at an age where it doesn't bother my arse.To use an extremely over used and seldom meant"Americanism",have a good day.

[ANTO]

No problems - your welcome

[andrew mitchell]

Nice to see you visit David lol keeping an eye on things lol:)

[Great Aunt Astri]

And, boys, if you go to too many learning sites, you are in danger of losing your originality! Gee, I liked your poem just the way you wrote it!!!!!!

[Gee]

Again thank you

[Coyote Poetry]

Wise advice shared in this one my friend.
"So the moral of this is don't ever kiss
or open your legs 'cos you're flattered,
as with a kid on the way and nowhere to stay
your life could be properly shattered."
I loved the above lines. A lullaby with some wisdom and knowledge to be learn. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Gee]

Again thank you.
Hope you are keeping well my friend

[Lisasview]

Really enjoyed this Gordon... Read all your reviews and agree with David..
I too knew nothing of Stanzas until two months ago... but they are wonderful to make lines of a poem stand out..
Loved this poem...again, another clever one of yours..
Okay thats three of yours I have read.. now off to have my green drink and play practice piano..
Lisa

[Gee]

Thank you Lisa, a very early post, must have only just started on here

[Lisasview]

Yes, I thought so... needed to back to your beginning to find something I had not read of yours..

[M. J. Smith]

Where were you when the tennis in our community were getting preggers right and left? We could have used poetry like this. Maybe more if those young ladies would have thought twice.
Nicely done, Sir.

[Gee]

LOL. Thanks for delving back in time to read this

[M. J. Smith]

I meant to say teen girls. Can't type lately. Anyway, you're most welcome, my friend.

[Ana Papaya]

Such wisdom, Gee. As humourous as it is serious.
A lady must always be mindful of overly charming men.
I always enjoy modernized nursery rhymes. :)

[Gee]

I've warned my daughter about men like this :))
Thank you ma'am.
Hope all is well with you

[Ana Papaya]

:) I pity the poor boys she may bring home. I can just imagine the scrutiny. All well here, Gee. Hope the same for you!

[Gee]

He had "the talk", expectations laid out so there was no mistakes :))
They have been together 3 years( he's 20, Holly is 19) Got to say he is a lovely young fella and he always has Hols best interest at heart. Long may it last:))
Good morning

[Ana Papaya]

Taught her well. :)

[Gee]

She is very much her mother but with better taste :)

[Dave Brown]

Had 2 look it up
a humorously done tale of misplaced morality
A very good read with more than a few views
Wonder how many other Muffet mishaps are laying about

[Gee]

Cheers Dave

[barleygirl]

First I have to question you about something you said yesterday . . . you didn’t want to make a poem of yours any more outlandish, as you didn’t want people to get a bad impression of you. And so then you feature this particular poem (which I LOVE) *smile* . . . This is hilarious & just what I needed becuz I was just “hit” on Facebook by a guy that sounds exactly like the classic catfish, all the same crap you always get from one of these foreign entities who’re trying to take a gal for her fortune. The pattern is so much the same, it’s amazing nobody mixes it up any bit! But your poem reminds me to not spread my Facebook pages for this guy cuz I’ve been having a bad feeling about him ever since he told me he had super high security in the military so he can’t communicate in all these typical ways, so we have to email. It doesn’t sound like English is his first language either. So I just love the way fate put your poem in my path right at this moment, when I just finished telling him I have a bad feeling about him. Sorry to get off on that tangent. Your rhyme & rhythm & witty creativity is off the charts here . . . sounds exactly like the nursery rhyme, as far as rhythm. Thanks for the smile (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Gee]

Hi Margie, tell him to f**k off :)))
Glad you enjoyed, take care

[Chris Shaw]

Worked for me. Put a smile on my face this evening Gee. And there was a moral there as well. Great stuff.

Chris

[Gee]

Thanks Christine, an oldie from when I only ever rhymed. Glad you enjoyed.
Hope you are well and not over cooked :))

[Chris Shaw]

Cooking on regulo 170 degrees :))

[Gee]

5 hours at that and you'll be as tender as pulled pork :)

[Chris Shaw]

Funny ..........

[Gee]

As my old mum says, " only to look at "

[Aaron]

this was really funny . I loved how you recreated the nursery rhyme.

[Gee]

Cheers Aaron, about sums me up, silly..

[Aesthetic Trash]

When I first saw this I thought you were uploading the tale "Little Miss Muffet" as the story that we all learned in Kindergarten. I was terribly wrong, you made the tale into an interesting spin-off that we all pictured as what our world has come to. A child-friendly tale was retold as what it would be like in Today's society. It was a pleasure reading this. Best of Luck...

~AT

[Gee]

Thank you..

[EJ's Horror]

I love it! A poor, grim future for Miss Muffet :( With a positive moral that others could take away and learn. You Gee, may have birthed a new genre "Highschool rhymes" :) Would love to see more takes on nursery rhymes in this style.

[Gee]

Cheers. Have had a pop at humpty and Georgie Porgie