The Preacher Man

Trying to convert the sceptical youth.

The preacher man sat him down
fixed him with a stare,
removed his hat, cleared his throat,
plucked a bible from thin air.
Slid a chair with screeching legs,
sat down face to face,
opened up what he believed
to a carefully chosen place.

He read aloud the faded text,
powerful his voice,
hallelujahed, praised the Lord
at moments of his choice.
A tale he told of suffering,
forgiveness, and of love,
a son sent down as sacrifice
by his father up above.

"Amen", uttered the preacher man,
raised his bowed down head,
closed the book without a sound
then to the boy he said.....
"2000 years and still he lives
a faith born from his death,
only the good seen in mankind,
right to his final breath."

"He gave his life that we may live,
opened a righteous way,
paved it with the love of God
and we walk it to this day.
And on this path I'll lead you son,
pray, let me take your hand,
I'll guide you to a better life
into the promised land."

The boy he stared, thought awhile,
then to the preacher said...
"What proof have you apart from tales
of a man for so long dead.
And if you believe in stories old,"
he took the briefest pause,
"Do you believe in tooth fairies,
Easter bunnies and Santa Claus....."

Author's Note

Well.........

Reviews

[Tanisha Davis]

A very understandable view in our society today with how Christianity has been represented by people who are high on power. Sad that truth has been misrepresented this way. I appreciate this poem, and very well written.

[Gee]

Sorry for the late reply. Thank you

[Stella Armour]

i knew there was going to be a humorous twist to the end lol.
Beautifully rhymed i might add :)

[Gee]

Thanks Stella, not a lot of sense in this head

[Stella Armour]

You don't fool me...rhyme and flow were perfect, content brilliant !

[Gee]

Careful Stella,I'll have to buy a bigger hat !!

[Stella Armour]

(* -*) you deserve one for making me smile lol

[Blake]

I was not anticipating the ending! So beautifully written!

[Gee]

Cheers Blake

[emipoemi]

A funny tale depicting the cheekiness of a child. That ending had me laughing. Notes (yay!):

1. Stanza 1, Last Line: no "to".

2.Stanza 2, Last couplet: there seems to be a subject/active verb missing here, for it doesn't appear to be part of the same thought as the previous thought, but rather another thought that's continuing from the previous one in which another active verb must be present....which you don't have.

3. Stanza 3, Last line: no "and" (not needed, and it just mars musicality)

4. Stanza 4, First line: this is more of a personal qualm than a legitimate suggestion, but I feel putting a pronoun right after the subject is a bit awkward when a "then" could be used instead. However the addition of "and" in the second clause would help the musicality flow better.

5. Last stanza, Penultimate Line: one more syllable so "fairy" doesn't hit the wrong sylLAble (for leaving it like that would force the reader to tweak the musicality awkwardly in order to say everything correctly).

This is a well-constructed tale otherwise. I quite enjoyed it.

[Gee]

Thank you Emi. I enjoyed writing this one and still enjoy reading it.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Mmmmmm- quite a well-penned challenge here...the young challenging the old institutions and ideas, as they should. Thought provoking, eloquent, lovely classical style, well-rhymed. Hope the preacher comes up with a good answer! Love this.

[Gee]

Thank you...

[BBP]

Truthfully one of the BEST things I have read in a while.

The way it flowed and the way the words just bounced off eachother was golden.

Hundred percent enjoyed this.

You executed the story with precision and played out a vivid slice of controversy so smooth.

[Gee]

Thank you kindly, glad you enjoyed Bev

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Commenting as a writer, it does seem to do its job to question and give it a scale to weigh on at the end. As for other things, will remain with others. Thank for sharing.

[Gee]

Thank you for reading.

[emmajoy]

What an ending, what a beginning! You led your readers through a very finely written poem, yards of it, sincere, gentle, real.. then.. bang, wallop you curdle the milk with what could be said is a consummate reaction! Like it or not, these are questions that need to be asked because.. whatever has been or is replied has obviously satisfied a few people over two thousand years. Perhaps!

[Gee]

Thank you, I am that child

[emmajoy]

I wondered.. strange how such an early experience like that stays until needed.. But then, you had a gentle spur in your father, yes? .

[Gee]

My old man was an arsehole from Glasgow who met a premature death in a Spanish sea. What goes around eh ??
One of seven raised by my mum, a semi feral council rat who has blagged his way through life, a life I wouldn't swap for the world.

[emmajoy]

Forgive me but I laughed and thought, 'It could have been worse!' In other words, how must worse could it have been to learn how to go from existing to living.. and being able to write such poetry.

[Gee]

Lol, o u r childhood looks worse from the outside looking in. When you know no different it is what it is. We even had a spell in a kids home and several foster homes when mum needed respite from the rabble.....it was colourful and stood me in good stead for later life. My daughter finds my upbringing mind boggling....

[emmajoy]

Still see this is as great meter.. and whatever the end supposition, tis great poetry!

[Gee]

Hi EmmaJ, thanks. Am in a strange place at the moment after mums passing, sort of lost :)
I like this poem so thought I'd share again so that folk know that it is not I that died.
Hope all is well with you

[emmajoy]

Not going to say otherwise: of course a strange place, one that holds court. If okay will breifly message.

[Paul Bell]

Nothing worse than a smart a*s kid. That boy will go far. Probably be running the country one day.
So the Easter bunny isn't real then. This could save me money. Now i'll just sit the kids down and let them read this.

[Gee]

Yep, you'll be coining it in.
Cheers

[Tazeen Ahmed]

Wonderfully written! Probably, the boy must have been innocent or rather 'smart'.
a very interesting and tempting poem.
"The preacher man sat him down
fixed him with a stare,
removed his hat, cleared his throat,
plucked a bible from thin air.
Slid a chair with screeching legs,
sat down face to face,
opened up what he believed
to a carefully chosen place. "
neatly described.

[Gee]

Thank you kindly