Late in springtime

As life draws to an end.....

Now long his shadow 'cross the ground
weak the winter sun,
that sets upon a life well lived,
four score years since begun.

Would springtime greet him one more time
like an old friend at a gate,
he smiled, resigned, knowing well,
not next year, he'd be late...

Author's Note

To short ????

Reviews

[Dawn]

No it was perfect...it left me wanting more not of the poem but more of your writing..a definite pull to the eyes . :)

[Gee]

Thanks Dawn. Simple is a good friend of mine where writing is concerned

[marym224]

tHANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEW, GEE This is a funny state of affairs. I had forgotten I was a member of this group, until I had an email this morning, encouraging submissions. Having read the reviews you receive, I've realised what a number of writing friends I've missed out on.
Regarding Late in Springtime, I don't consider it too short, (you can always add to it if you want to). You mention the ubiquitous 'four score years' - but we have to take into account that our allotment seem to be getting bigger every year. More and more people around the world reach the age of 100+ these days. So I, for one, am going to live every day to the fullest, and go to wherever with a bottle of wine in one hand, a box of chocolates in the other, and singing "I did it my way!" Regards, Mary

[Gee]

Good on you Mary. Yep you're right the age at which we pop our clogs is gradually rising so we can now suffer ill health a few years more ( joking)

[Gee]

Oops, thank you for taking the time to read and comment

[Paul Bell]

Poignant write. I remember my father stopped going to funerals. Which didn't go down well with the family. I realised years later, why. Your poem sums it up perfectly.

[Gee]

Cheers Pail

[Gee]

Bollocks....Paul

[Sheila Kline]

Oh no, not too short! You have captured many thoughts in your words, thought it is brief. We do not always need many words to make a point for the reader. I like the phrase that indicates that next year, he'd be late. He is resigned to accept what will come and be comfortable with it..........live on, wage the good fight! We shall all end in death, and to accept it is a sign of strength!

[Gee]

Thank you Sheila

[Lorry]

We all see those shadows lengthening, and wander and ponder when there will be nothing left of us to cast that shadow. It is one of those things where we can hold opposing positions. Some may believe in heaven and hell, some may believe your spirit goes on, but I think it's also okay to be selfish and conclude that the world ceases to exist as we do, just like it never existed before birth. It's how I get through my day at least.
Not too short at all Gee, sometimes less is far, far more and you found a perfect balance in this piece. Its; shortness only adds to the abruptness of when we are no more, and the reader acknowledges this by the words staying with them after they are read. as ever, class shines through and you are a class act.

[Gee]

Cheers Nemo, I think you may be mistaking me for someone else, but, I will gladly accept your comments

[Kelly Scheppers]

I think its perfect - the brevity of it makes it more concrete and honest.

[Gee]

Again thank you, got to dash, just arrived on site and have to baby sit a bunch of moaning carpenters !!

[emmajoy]

'.. .. he smiled,resigned,knowing well, -- -- -- bot next year, he'd be late..........'

One day i might learn how to raise the same impact with so few but beautifully and accurately placed words. A sweetly emotional sad, sad poem.

[Gee]

Hmmmm, I think I am still very much the pupil to your teacher. Thank you

[emmajoy]

A sad pleasure, but pleasure none the less.

[Jessica]

Sometimes short and to the point is what evokes the best emotion. Thank you for sharing.

[Gee]

Thank you Jessica

[Baby Ricochet]

Sometimes short is where it's at. This poem works great

[Gee]

Cheers Mark..

[Ruth]

Not too short at all in my opinion, the concise structure here adds to the emotions, a really moving read Gee...

[Gee]

Thank you Poppy