Twelve Shoes

A slow walk with pallbearers...off to a funeral today

Black filled the pews
not one head raised
each bowed as if in prayer,
twelve shoes
six steps in unison
slow bore their reason there.

Down aged flags
that echoed loud
off stone and ancient glass,
these men of death
clad dark as night
heartbroken lines did pass.

As footsteps stilled
amazing Grace
through oaken beams soared high,
grief seared the cheeks
washed broken hearts
that questioned only "Why"

Then silence reigned
the air hung still
lost love they gently laid,
twelve shoes they bowed
then took their leave
having last respects thus paid.

RIP Ray Board
A true gentleman

Author's Note

Dipping a toe in the solemn, been a while. If any ideas to improve feel free, I'm always willing to learn. Thank you
2nd stanza to be changed perhaps
Flags are flagstones, slabs of stone

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing story written in the poetry. I like the places and thoughts shared. You create a life and a journey. I liked how you used the twelve shoes in the poem. Thank you Gee for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Gee]

Cheers Coyote

[Coyote Poetry]

Cheers back to you my friend.

[Bala Gorthi]

This write is beautifully heavy.. Each verse brought more silence and then the silence reigned in my heart. Thank you for sharing....

[Gee]

Thank you Bala, one of my semi sensible scribblings

[Bala Gorthi]

Not all can bring out such perfect pieces from semi sensible scribblings. Keep sending more semi scribbles...

[Gee]

Lol, cheers...

[JoeM]

And the pattern is ad infinitum. Whether horizontal, or hanging as 'Strange Fruit'. Well done.

[Gee]

Cheers Joe, appreciate the review

[Tony Jordan]

You set the tone very well. Leading the reader into the scene like a spectator as if you were whispering this into their ears - quietly - out of reverance.
Twelve shoes is a really poignant visual - the pallbearers.
The single word "Why?" is excruciatingly loud in this setting.
Absolutely well written poem Gee.

[Gee]

Thank you dearest poet...,.jeez I hate that saying. Bollocks, I've jus spilt Rioja all over my palette and down my smock..,

[Tony Jordan]

How very dare you. What are you - a rebel, anti-establishment, an...an...an iconoclast ??
Lets all have a minutes silence for the vino.
*tick...tick...tick*
Right where was we?
Mmmm...you look quite fetching in thon smock though...you been working out?
Lol

[Gee]

Working out, working out......I'm buff, buffer than Mr Buff from Buffinghamshire. In fact I'm that buff dulled marble floors regain their sheen as I stride Buffingly o'er them. Yes, that's how much I've been hitting the James.

[Tony Jordan]

Ooh hark at Buffy the vamp slayer.
What you and Jimmy do is between cuntsetting adults - so ...
Hey could you come over and shine this here ...erm...thing for me
Read on MacBuff!!

[Gee]

Lord Mac Buff to you laddie.....now lift ma Kilt, kiss ma arse and away wi ya....

[Tony Jordan]

Hmmm
Well a MacBuff is bound to be more filling than them MacDonalds
...okay...
BRING IT!

[Gee]

LOL, get the beers in, I'm donning my mankind and factor 40......have a good evening my friend.....and behave

[Gee]

MANKINI.....I'M A KNOB

[Tony Jordan]

Mankind was too funny..
Pissing myself
Cheers.Gee

[Great Aunt Astri]

Couldn't understand a word of this man talk ...... could you translate it into to woman talk, please?

[Gee]

I've just read this exchange back and it is just a normal man conversation, well, between us two it is. Perfect sense.

[Great Aunt Astri]

Well, I wanted to join in too!!!!!!!!

[Ted Kniffen]

A great rendition, Gee. Although somber in tone there feels a 'lightness' to it, The scene plays out in the mind beautifully. I'm not sure the changes suggested for the second stanza are necessary. The meter seems fine as is. Good write.

[Gee]

Cheers Ted, glad you approve

[BBP]

Painted a nice picture. The pall bearers point of view was a nice change up to description of a funeral. Good write.

[Gee]

Thank you Bev

[Beccy]

Original and compelling lines.

'Twelve shoes,' quite, quite inspirational.

Beccy.

[Gee]

Thank you Becky

[FJ Davis]

Dark and disturbing.
God's own truth to anyone who's ever borne a pall.
Stunning piece of work, Gee!

[Gee]

Thank you, appreciate the review

[Tom]

You capture the solemn mood of the pallbearers and mourners alike to quite palpable effect!

Wouldn't change a thing...this is a poignant, respectfully penned poem...top write my friend!

[Gee]

Thank you Tom

[several thousand]

Beautiful poem Gee.
Loved these lines:
grief seared the cheeks
washed broken hearts
Amazing imagery. Stay inspired.

[Gee]

Thank you..