Twelve Shoes

Twelve Shoes

A Poem by Gee
"

The last journey of a loved one

"
Black filled the pews
not one head raised
each bowed as if in prayer,
twelve shoes
six steps in unison,
slow bore their reason there.

Down aged flags
that echoed loud
off stone and ancient glass,
these men of death
clad dark as night
heartbroken lines did pass.

As footsteps stilled
amazing Grace
through oaken beams soared high,
grief seared the cheeks
washed broken hearts
that questioned only "Why"

Then silence reigned
the air hung still
lost love they gently laid,
twelve shoes they bowed
then took their leave
having last respects thus paid.


















© 2017 Gee


Author's Note

Gee
Dipping a toe in the solemn, been a while. If any ideas to improve feel free, I'm always willing to learn. Thank you
2nd stanza to be changed perhaps
Flags are flagstones, slabs of stone

My Review

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Reviews

Somber, beautiful, and by my estimation, although certainly not the authority, not a word out of place. Sometimes less is more, and the image of the "twelve shoes" is very powerful.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Gee

2 Years Ago

Cheers, am very happy that you enjoyed.
I like the idea of this and the write. Well done. Valentine

Posted 2 Years Ago


Gee

2 Years Ago

Thank you kindly
The pall bearers march with the casket....you described the scene eloquently. Dark, but well written. LydI**

Posted 2 Years Ago


Gee

2 Years Ago

Thank you Lydia
It is nice...I can't explain in words what I feel it certainly different...

Posted 2 Years Ago


Gee

2 Years Ago

It's simple like it's author.Cheers
Very nice, Gee. You certainly hit the solemn note with this one.

It is a very atmospheric write; that last journey of the deceased, carried on the shoulders of his/her pallbearers.

I can't see anything that needs improvement. It stands well on its own.

Another fine piece of writing.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Gee

2 Years Ago

Cheers Doodley, will perhaps leave well alone
A lot of symbolism, rites and rituals when we see off the death. You capture the solemnity well.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Gee

2 Years Ago

Thank you Philip
a part of society we wish to over look i guess,touching write

Posted 2 Years Ago


Gee

2 Years Ago

Cheers WM, appreciate the review
Very sad you've captured the feeling with somber but deeply vivid imagery. Nicely done Gee. R x

Posted 2 Years Ago


Gee

2 Years Ago

Cheers Rach, appreciate you reading and commenting
The final curtain closing is always the worse at funerals, usually when the crying starts.
You portray it well.


Posted 2 Years Ago


Gee

2 Years Ago

Thanks Paul
A beautiful portrayal of the sadness we have all felt, while taking that never ending procession of grief, with shoulder weighted, as well as heart and mind. Superbly captured Gee.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Gee

2 Years Ago

Cheers Nemo

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2756 Views
53 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on October 8, 2016
Last Updated on September 16, 2017
Tags: Love, death, funeral, mourning

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, United Kingdom



About
Devoted family man and lover of life who writes simple stuff !! more..

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