Twelve Shoes

Twelve Shoes

A Poem by Gee
"

The last journey of a loved one

"
Black filled the pews
not one head raised
each bowed as if in prayer,
twelve shoes
six steps in unison,
slow bore their reason there.

Down aged flags
that echoed loud
off stone and ancient glass,
these men of death
clad dark as night
heartbroken lines did pass.

As footsteps stilled
amazing Grace
through oaken beams soared high,
grief seared the cheeks
washed broken hearts
that questioned only "Why"

Then silence reigned
the air hung still
lost love they gently laid,
twelve shoes they bowed
then took their leave
having last respects thus paid.


















© 2017 Gee


Author's Note

Gee
Dipping a toe in the solemn, been a while. If any ideas to improve feel free, I'm always willing to learn. Thank you
2nd stanza to be changed perhaps
Flags are flagstones, slabs of stone

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Reviews

very vivid imagery in this write, I enjoyed the wording.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Gee

3 Years Ago

Cheers, appreciate the review
nice job! solemnity throughout ..i like the form and cadence ...i am terrible in the use of punctuation and the commas do their job as well as your end point at the last line of each verse ..but i would venture a guess some of the commas are not necessary or should be end points as well ...but i am not one to talk as i typically solve that problem by leaving all punctuation off ..coward that i am ;} this line is giving my trouble understanding "off seen it all stained glass," ...?? the perspective your poem takes from the angle of the shoes is creative ...original ...i love it ...i have buried too many family and friends ... one of my aunts passed yeas ago and i finally had to say no to bear her casket ...i had done it too many times ..my cousins all understood ... and thank the Lord i have not been asked since ... i like my spot in a back pew ... private with my own thoughts and grief ... love your poem ..it shows the respect we should all have when another human being passes over .. nice one!
E.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Einstein Noodle

3 Years Ago

ahhhhhh the echos are bouncing off it ..i get it!! eureka!! ;)
Gee

3 Years Ago

LOL, have altered to hopefully make it a wee bit clearer
Einstein Noodle

3 Years Ago

:) .................
Images of carrying the casket came to mind with your solid imagery, lucky for me my family is more into urns! Must be the barbecue that does this!! Nice write cobber!

Posted 3 Years Ago


andrew mitchell

3 Years Ago

lol Cheers Gee . No not Fosters thats cheap plonk! Coopers pale ale!
Gee

3 Years Ago

I didn't realise you moved in such lofty circles, I will forthwith call you sir, and scrape and bow .. read more
andrew mitchell

2 Years Ago

Thank you Gordon Lightfeet!!

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2796 Views
53 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on October 8, 2016
Last Updated on September 16, 2017
Tags: Love, death, funeral, mourning

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, United Kingdom



About
Devoted family man and lover of life. more..

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