Life goes on(Burying my father)

Life carries on regardless.

I watched them as they stared,
wondered as to their thoughts as they read the floral tributes
that leaned against his casket.
I had been them on many occassions,
sometimes shedding tears, thanking God it wasn't me.
But today it was, it was me, it was my turn to grieve,
to watch life continue whilst mine, briefly paused,
was put on hold until the ceremony, fuss, over.

As we inched forward in the busy, mid morning traffic,
an elderly couple noticing our cavalcade stopped,
turned to face us, and as one bowed their heads,
standing stock still, respectful,
carrying on about their business only once we passed by.
Different the four young lads, 2 generations on,
they pointed, flicked v signs
whilst laughing and joking amongst themselves,
no thought, no shame, not an ounce of respect.

Looking away I caught the eye of a "mother dragged" toddler.
I smiled, he smiled back, stumbling as he did so,
this making him laugh.
He waved a bright, pastel coloured mitten my way,
this cutting through the drear of the day
as a sparkler does on a cold November night.
I waved back as they headed towards the rusted, wrought iron gates
that led into the children's play park.
Oh to be a child again...

Without warning, from nowhere,
Dad's voice filled my head, loud, clear,
reciting words he had written for the "young" me,
words that until now, thought only of as a simple, pleasant rhyme..

"The moon will cede to rising sun
night will follow day,
seasons change, tides ebb and flow
no matter, come what may.

These constants, never given thought
expected, ever there,
as parents are to innocence
to nurture, love and care."

It was then the tears came.
For the first time in my life I felt truly alone.

Author's Note

Written from the viewpoint of a daughter watching the world pass by as she travels to bury her father.

Reviews

[lightsong]

I lost my father back on November 2008, even after the years... the memory is still fresh, it was sudden and too soon. Sometimes You would be under the shock not really recognizing that life is going on, and suddenly it hits... Very emotive and touching one Gee. Happy Father's Day💚

[Gee]

Thank you :)

[Chris Shaw]

Good morning Gee. A reread after three years. You know it appears your Dad was a bit of a scribbler too. Is that where you got your love of poetry from? I am not surprised his lines brought tears to you. They are profound and moving. Hope your weekend is good. The heatwave didn't last long did it, and last evening I felt cold :) Nothing like the good old British weather to keep you on your toes.

Chris

[Gee]

I was at Ascot races yesterday, our company hosted 140 carpenters and site staff, my job, along with 8 others, was to pay for all/any drinks that the freeloaders required...nightmare. 5 hours of folk seeking me out, a mobile credit card operator at the back and call of the ever more greedy workforce, and I was driving as I had to get home to Nanny the ma in law as wifey is in Cyprus and child was out with her beau, so I was stone cold sober.
Anyway, poem, this was written from the perspective of a daughter on the way to bury her dad. As for my dad, very loosely used, he cleared off after fathering 5 of us and ended his life in a Spanish sea, not purposely, he had a heart attack and drowned...Karma:)
Hope you are well Christine, no rain, nice and warm here.
Thanks for taking time to read again and comment

[Chris Shaw]

Your yesterday sounded a nightmare. Sorry to say your Dad appears to have been one too. I hope your today is very much better. Long time since I last went to Ascot races dolled up to the nines. Lovely memories though :) in the marina today, taking life easy. Away from the noise of young adults at home.

[Gee]

Savour the peace. Yep the old man was in and out of nick, a bad egg from Glasgow

[Manya]

hi
I am new here, I saw the title and automatically couldn't,not read it
beautifully written, so raw and touching
"The moon will cede to rising sun
night will follow day,
seasons change, tides ebb and flow
no matter, come what may.
This line really got my attention. I hope to write like this someday.
-MANYA

[Davidgeo]

Everybody gets a turn. That we got one in the first place always makes it worth it.

You've been dark lately (not specifically talking about this poem). I understand.

But I'd hate to see you get used to it.

[Gee]

Aye I need to lighten up :))
Hope you are keeping well David, cheers

[Beccy]

My sister and I have occasionally touched on the reality of this; though mostly we shut our minds. Dad is seventy two. Nowadays, not such a great age, but he has CML, (Chronic Myeloid Leukemia,) and due to the medication he takes, his immune system is not all that strong. He makes light of it, but the thought of being without him frightens me.

You convey the emotion of such a time so very well; and the last part of the poem, the rhyming verses, are just so very, very good.

Beccy.

[Gee]

I'm so sorry to read of your dad's illness.
My dad cleared off many moons ago leaving mum to raise 7 of us, not really sure if I should use the word dad when referring to him.
I live very close to a crematorium so see many a sad sight.
I hope you and the young fella are well and get to spend as much time as possible with your dad.

[Gee]

Oops, how very rude of me. Thank you for taking the time to both read and comment :)

[Beccy]

As much time as we can. X

[Agyani]

The way you have conveyed different emotions related to the funeral ceremony and the daughter's grief through other people passing by at the time is wonderful. We've all experience death in a similar way, and I think you have captured the feeling of loss quite beautifully. The most beautiful songs indeed talk about the saddest tales.
There are so many beautiful lines here, but my favourite was "to watch life continue whilst mine, briefly paused,"

Thank you for such an amazing read :)

[Gee]

Thank you for such a kind review :))

[emmajoy]

'"The moon will cede to rising sun - night will follow day, - seasons change, tides ebb and flow - no matter, come what may. '

Bravely and sadly put, Gee. Small areas written in salty liquid instead of what years ago, would have been a pen. And at a time when respect and true empathy was shown by a brief pause at the kerbside, silently wishing young and and old the power of light to see them through the pain. Went to a granny's funeral when i was seven, first one, needed to go cos she was 'mad granny'... that meant fun alive and never known to conform. Didn't understand why people were so sad looking and crying.. learned since too much, too often: parents and siblings walking in through those spaces people call the pearly gates.

You've captured the feeling, the loss and loneliness so gently and sincerely, your usually happy self somehow rewarded by that very special skill you own but rarely show. That daughter child within will always be precious..

[Gee]

Thank you ( again). This, for obvious reasons, carried far more weight than when first written :)read moreThank you ( again). This, for obvious reasons, carried far more weight than when first written :)
Hope all is well with you and your crumbling spine :))

[emmajoy]

Like so many of us, have lost too many as time's past. Yes, I do realise what you mean.. sigh.

[Robyn]

this poem is just beautiful... as a daughter I can relate and it nearly made me cry because it made me think of my father and how afraid I am of losing him someday

[Gee]

Thanks Robyn. I am a father to an 18year old daughter, perhaps I'll show this to her one day

[kentuck14]

Thought provoking poem. Yes, I can remember as a kid watching a funeral procession going by . . . The adult men would doff their hats and stand in respect of the one who had died; ladies too would show their respect in other ways. I like the 'interlude" of the toddler and his mother. Life in the midst of death and a reminder that the generations pass each other in the passing light.
Good poem, G.
Tom

[Gee]

Hi Tom, thank you

[Alistair (Ali)]

Beautiful , my friend...can't say much more than that- profoundly moving...you could properly start me off!

[Gee]

Cheers Ali..