A belly sized hole

A belly sized hole

A Poem by Gee
"

Missing mum

"
I have an emptiness inside, a belly sized hole
that if it were not there would contain my grieving bile.
It has been close to 10 weeks since mum passed,
weeks that now seem like years such is my missing..
Tears stain my cheeks as I tap out my pain,
unexpected, sore tears, that run freely
as those that I love deeply sleep soundly above me,
whilst outside rain falls incessantly
silencing the usual cacophony of crow and magpie,
these seemingly vying to control the airwaves,
an irksome early summers morning ritual that would rouse the dead,
if only that were true...
I sigh and inwardly berate myself,
tell myself to get a grip,
that moping will change nowt
and the tears I shed will do nothing but make me feel even more tired than I already do.
And with that thought rattling around my head I finish up,
tap out a last few words, and apply a heart broken full stop.


© 2019 Gee


Author's Note

Gee
Just feeling sad :((
Disjointed I know but that's how I feel.

My Review

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Reviews

No matter the physical presence, the bond of love remains with us always. Your poem is a necessary catharsis; a purification of sorts, which is so very vital for the purgation of grief.

Though both mum and dad are still with me, I can completely empathise with your loss, as some years ago I lost my beloved grandma, (nanny goggles,) so called by my sister and I because of the over large, pink plastic NHS glasses she insisted on wearing, (mostly on her forehead.) :))

From an early age she would read to me, mostly the English Romantics which she adored; encourage me to write and it was through her that I came to love poetry; and I miss her still so very much.
From time to time though and mostly when I am writing, I can sense her presence, encouraging me me as she did when I was a child. It mitigates the loss, makes me know how fortunate I was to have her in my life, which is totally, I am sure, how you feel about your mum.

I found the penultimate verse of your poem so very touching; and those four simple little words, 'heart broken full stop,' cut so very deep.

Beccy.

Posted 2 Months Ago


Gee

1 Month Ago

Hi Beccy, thanks. It's nice you have such find memories of your man and that she was instrumental in.. read more

I understand precisely where you are coming from, heartfelt and true &.. I do feel for you my friend

Posted 3 Months Ago


Gee

3 Months Ago

Thanks Neville, appreciate that :)
At my age (82) it makes one realise just how little time is left for simple pleasures. One thing is certain I 'ain't going to stop writing rubbish!

Posted 3 Months Ago


Gee

3 Months Ago

Lol, plenty of rubbish for us all to write :))
You have a strong will Gee. Cheer up and continue to inspire more writers!

Posted 3 Months Ago


Gee

3 Months Ago

Thank you Tina
The old saw it takes time is true. Think be lucky you had her. And perhaps think what she would say to you now.
Feel better in your own time my friend.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Gee

3 Months Ago

Good morning Ken, hope all is well with you.
Very lucky indeed to be raised by such a woman, .. read more
I do understand the poem. Somedays, hard to get out of bed. I miss the voices of my mentors and I hear their words when I am weak. Get-up and go forward. Sometime we need strong coffee and to find a place we enjoy. I hope you are feeling better my friend.
Coyote

Posted 3 Months Ago


Gee

3 Months Ago

Mum would be giving me a kick up the arse and telling me to move on, easier said than done though.read more
Gee

3 Months Ago

Coyote .....
Coyote Poetry

3 Months Ago

But we must. My grandmother was the same. Told us the truth.
When the greatest part of your life dies, it's like dying yourself.
Disjointed is probably the perfect word. Walking about in the wilderness a close second.
But it's the job your mum did on you that makes the person. That's the real pride when you lose someone.
The great memories will always be there.


Posted 3 Months Ago


Gee

3 Months Ago

Indeed
Cheers Paul
Been there, dude, and the broken full stop will be there for years to come, you must mourn, in private, loudly, release the bad piece, the peace of mind will find you eventually, trust in dusty old memories, been 35 years since my mother died and I am still broken inside, but alive and my belly sized hole has a panoramic view, and a titanium ring,

Posted 3 Months Ago


Gee

3 Months Ago

I'll have to get me one of them titanium rings. At present the only one I have is smarting after a l.. read more
I'm so sorry this is so hard for you! (((HUGS))) You do a great job of describing how this feels. I love your intensity & your imagery -- in some ways your surroundings are not touched by your grief (the dog) or other times, the whole world seems to reflect it in shades of gray. I feel weird admitting this, but I have no sadness about my mom dying a month ago. I need to read your poems to remind myself how it can be in a normal loving family. My family's brokenness is so second-nature to me, I forget this is supposed to be an excruciating time. Thank you for sharing this so honestly & keeping me in touch with the humanity that seems to be missing from my own heart (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 3 Months Ago


Gee

3 Months Ago

It is easy to love and miss someone when they lived their whole life to make sure we were fed and wa.. read more
barleygirl

3 Months Ago

I was thinking how ironic -- you feel guilty for still falling apart over your mum & I feel guilty f.. read more
Gee

3 Months Ago

Indeed, would be a boring place if we were all the same eh :)
' I sigh and inwardly berate myself, - tell myself to get a grip, that moping will change nowt - and the tears I shed will do nothing but make me feel even more tired than I already do. - And with that thought rattling around my head I finish up, - tap out a last few words, and apply a heart broken full stop. '

Beautiful sadness; sensitively, gently felt and phrased. You've said what so many can't, in that be pleased and just a little proud.

Lots of kindly peeps will tell you that time will make things easier, etc. But when someone you love, trust, admire and need - goes from sight and touch, there will be an awful hole, one that's there first thing a morning, last thing at night - and, in the between. Some time - in Gee's time, you'll hear your darling's voice whisper, 'Come on son, get moving, the sun's missing you'! Friendly hugs and thoughts to you, your darling wife and lovely daughter.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Gee

3 Months Ago

Aye, mum would be telling me to " get on with it"... tis hard though as well you know.
Thank.. read more
emmajoy

3 Months Ago

Reading my review I realise it's a presumptuous mess of words, so sorry, will remove them if you pre.. read more
Gee

3 Months Ago

Delete, never. Will perhaps take a pen and pad :)

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Added on June 25, 2019
Last Updated on September 7, 2019
Tags: Mum, missing, love

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, United Kingdom



About
Devoted family man and lover of life. more..

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