A belly sized hole

A belly sized hole

A Poem by Gee
"

Missing mum

"
I have an emptiness inside, a belly sized hole
that if it were not there would contain my grieving bile.
It has been close to 10 weeks since mum passed,
weeks that now seem like years such is my missing..
Tears stain my cheeks as I tap out my pain,
unexpected, sore tears, that run freely
as those that I love deeply sleep soundly above me,
whilst outside rain falls incessantly
silencing the usual cacophony of crow and magpie,
these seemingly vying to control the airwaves,
an irksome early summers morning ritual that would rouse the dead,
if only that were true...
I sigh and inwardly berate myself,
tell myself to get a grip,
that moping will change nowt
and the tears I shed will do nothing but make me feel even more tired than I already do.
And with that thought rattling around my head I finish up,
tap out a last few words, and apply a heart broken full stop.


© 2019 Gee


Author's Note

Gee
Just feeling sad :((
Disjointed I know but that's how I feel.

My Review

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Reviews

I'm so sorry this is so hard for you! (((HUGS))) You do a great job of describing how this feels. I love your intensity & your imagery -- in some ways your surroundings are not touched by your grief (the dog) or other times, the whole world seems to reflect it in shades of gray. I feel weird admitting this, but I have no sadness about my mom dying a month ago. I need to read your poems to remind myself how it can be in a normal loving family. My family's brokenness is so second-nature to me, I forget this is supposed to be an excruciating time. Thank you for sharing this so honestly & keeping me in touch with the humanity that seems to be missing from my own heart (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

It is easy to love and miss someone when they lived their whole life to make sure we were fed and wa.. read more
barleygirl

7 Months Ago

I was thinking how ironic -- you feel guilty for still falling apart over your mum & I feel guilty f.. read more
Gee

7 Months Ago

Indeed, would be a boring place if we were all the same eh :)
' I sigh and inwardly berate myself, - tell myself to get a grip, that moping will change nowt - and the tears I shed will do nothing but make me feel even more tired than I already do. - And with that thought rattling around my head I finish up, - tap out a last few words, and apply a heart broken full stop. '

Beautiful sadness; sensitively, gently felt and phrased. You've said what so many can't, in that be pleased and just a little proud.

Lots of kindly peeps will tell you that time will make things easier, etc. But when someone you love, trust, admire and need - goes from sight and touch, there will be an awful hole, one that's there first thing a morning, last thing at night - and, in the between. Some time - in Gee's time, you'll hear your darling's voice whisper, 'Come on son, get moving, the sun's missing you'! Friendly hugs and thoughts to you, your darling wife and lovely daughter.

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Aye, mum would be telling me to " get on with it"... tis hard though as well you know.
Thank.. read more
emmajoy

7 Months Ago

Reading my review I realise it's a presumptuous mess of words, so sorry, will remove them if you pre.. read more
Gee

7 Months Ago

Delete, never. Will perhaps take a pen and pad :)
Sorry for your loss, Gee. At the moment I am dealing with the imminent loss of my mum. She is in comfort care and I'm told she has 1 - 2 weeks left. She's 94 and dealing with dementia the past few years, so she was not entirely aware of things. Still, no matter how much you prepare, the loss will be keenly felt.

Take care, friend.

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Hi Ted, thank you. I'm sorry to read of your mother's plight and hope her passing be both peaceful a.. read more
Gee

7 Months Ago

I wrote a piece...
When my Mother died, I remember thinking 'this just started.' I knew I had a long way to go. I don't recall how long it took to get over it but I know it was painful and a big adjustment.


You have my condolences, Gee.

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Thank you Relic. I'll be some time coming to terms with the fact that the person that I most respect.. read more
I have feeling that the bond you have with your mother is a rare treasure. When I read this I can almost see her standing next to your chair with a cup of coffee in her hand to try and console you...all the while needing to be consoled too. With a heart like yours that isn't afraid to let the tears pour she created a grand soul which can only mean she has one too... so hold her close and let them flow but you know she wouldn't want you to be hurting. I am so sorry for you both and hope that in time the sting eases... Gee:) a very poignant write

Posted 7 Months Ago


This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Gee

7 Months Ago

Thank you BB for your kind words, they are very much appreciated
Indeed a heart felt and deeply emotional piece of expressive writing Gee. The final lines of the third stanza have such impact! It will get better in time, it more often than not does and tis normal to feel the loss. Each person is different and you take your own time.

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Thank you John
and disjointed is the feeling...i sure understand where you are coming from in this piece...i still want to call mine every day...and then realize, she is not there to call.
i don't know if it gets easier...hasn't for me...and i am missing my dad so much too...she passed in 2014--he in 2017....and i am not used to it yet.
i think writing is a good therapy...
j.

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Hi Jacob, thanks. Tis easier sometimes to write than burden others with our thoughts, feelings.
read more
jacob erin-cilberto

5 Months Ago

that's what i do, Gee...
i think about calling a friend, but then write instead.
don't.. read more
Good morning Gee. You convey well all the reality of grief after losing someone special in this poem. Hurts like hell, is energy consuming and seems to infiltrate every bit of life. It will soften, but it will have to run its course. Take care my friend and maybe writing about iit will help.

Chris

Posted 7 Months Ago


Gee

7 Months Ago

Good morning Christine, hope you are well.
Sure is a strange place I find myself at present
Gee

7 Months Ago

Oops, thank you

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18 Reviews
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Added on June 25, 2019
Last Updated on September 7, 2019
Tags: Mum, missing, love

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, United Kingdom



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Devoted family man and lover of life. more..

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A Poem by Gee



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