Heartache

Heartache

A Poem by Gee
"

Hmmmm, missed so much :)

"
It wasn't by choice accepted
nor was it bought,
it was bestowed upon me without warning
at zero six twenty on April the 4th this year.
A knock at the door,
a knock that could mean only one thing,
and indeed it was that " thing"
The trembling bottom lip,
tear stained cheeks
and red rimmed eyes of a younger sibling,
standing 6' 2" but now the small boy of 50 years ago,
spoke so much louder than his words,
" mum died early this morning... "

© 2019 Gee


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On the third line, I'd say "zero six twenty on April the 4th, ..." (don't forget the comma, the pause adds impact) instead of "06:20..." ; probably because I come from a military background but I also think it reads better and would make people think more about what they're reading because it's unfamiliar and they will therefore pay more attention.

The ending hits you like a god damned freight train. That was objectively painful to read.

Posted 9 Months Ago


Gee

9 Months Ago

Suggested changes made, thank you.
The brother, I think, was clubbing more out of guilt than .. read more
G, David D

9 Months Ago

Dealing with loss of that kind is unpredictably painful. The initial shock cripples some people's n.. read more
This is a haunting poem Gee, your grief captures the readers' heart and fetches that familiar sorrow that never left our lives since the day we lost someone dear. I remember receiving message that shattered my innocent world many years ago but seems like yesterday. I feel your heartache intensely, dear Gee.

Posted 9 Months Ago


Gee

9 Months Ago

Thank you Mrudula, tis mum's birthday today, she would have been 83.
Sadly missed, but, I'm h.. read more
Gee

9 Months Ago

Kin............
Mrudula Rani

9 Months Ago

All the best moments with your mom are forever in your recollections now, I hope you find strength a.. read more
Sorry to read this, Gee. Having been on the receiving end of a similar scene, I felt this intensely. It is funny how you almost know when it comes, even though it wasn’t something you were thinking of. At least that was true for me.

All my best to you and your family in this difficult time.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Gee

10 Months Ago

Thanks Eilis.
Was at a friends funeral yesterday, 45, he died suddenly leaving behind a wife,.. read more
Eilis

10 Months Ago

Oh, how devastating. I’m so sorry to hear that. That poor family.
you have my total respect and sympathy/empathy Gee, keep strong my friend,

Posted 10 Months Ago


Gee

10 Months Ago

Thank you Gram
dear Gee... when our Mom passes, we are all orphans.
We celebrate her life with tears remembering how dear
and precious is her love that will remain forever in our
heart. Your poem tugged at my heartstrings
where melodies play like violins. truly, Pat

Posted 10 Months Ago


Gee

10 Months Ago

Thank you for your kind words Patricia
Patricia Wedel

10 Months Ago

I am truly sorry for your loss... always remember our loved ones live on in us.
Fondly, Pat.. read more
So sorry to hear of your mum's passing.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Gee

10 Months Ago

Thank you Lea. She is pain free and at peace which is a blessing
Lea Sheryn

10 Months Ago

You're welcome.
So sorry for your loss. It's hard losing a parent and especially hard when you were so close. It was my older brother who called me about our Mom passing. I had mixed emotions. I wasn't very close to mother. I can honestly say that I don't really miss her but I do think of her often and find myself hoping that she's at peace. My Dad passed twenty-six years ago and that was the absolute worst day of my life. I learned of his death from his neighbor. My Dad and I were practically joined at the hip. He is why I can relate to your feelings. Your poem is a wonderful tribute of love.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Gee

10 Months Ago

Thank you Rhayne, here's hoping my daughter loves me as much as you loved yours :))

S**t... this is exactly what happened to me at 07.40 on August 23rd this year.. totally unexpected and am still reeling .. my sincere condolences my friend... Neville

Posted 10 Months Ago


Gee

10 Months Ago

Back at you Neville, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you. Take care
Neville

10 Months Ago


despite everything, I never realised that being an orphan could feel so bad.. You too mate x
Tragic news on the doorstep! Very well written!

Posted 10 Months Ago


Gee

10 Months Ago

Thank you Augustus
The early morning knock, yes, you always know even before opening the door.
Time stands still and life changes forever.
Those lines will hit people in different ways taking us back to that time.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Gee

10 Months Ago

Cheers Paul. Yep, still very raw at the moment. On the upside however, the old man fucked off when w.. read more
Paul Bell

10 Months Ago

As long as he's not one of those bad penny's that turn up when they're not needed.

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Added on November 8, 2019
Last Updated on December 7, 2019
Tags: Mum, love, death.

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, United Kingdom



About
Devoted family man and lover of life. Simple stuff for those without code breaking skills ! more..

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