Heading South

Heading South

A Poem by Gee
"

Age and gravity

"
Her brow is now farmer furrowed
and her eyes own Gladstone bags
her chin has many companions
as from top to toe she sags.
Causing b***s once full and perky
to nestle on her belly,
these now a tray to rest her plate
when dining in front of the telly.
And her bum's no longer bootyful
in fact it's downright scary,
as low it swings behind her knees
spotty, pock marked and hairy.
This giving shade to once taught calves
though this now not the case,
as these have grown to heffer size
and look strangely out of place.
As do her feet with bristled toes
and a snake like varicose vein,
these groaning under increasing weight
near to buckling with the strain.
And if all of this not bad enough
there is even worse ahead,
because the menopause is looming large
to mess with her body and head.






© 2020 Gee


Author's Note

Gee
Ah, the joys of being a laydeeeeeee :)))

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Featured Review

Blimey Gee, if that is all before the menopause, I hate to think what else can go south afterwards. A very funny write after a restless night for me. Your lines had a jaunty pace through them with some sound rhyming. Thank God, I've left all that behind, me. Took some working through I can tell you:)Coming back as a man next time. Good morning, wet and windy here. That's the weather I am talking about :)

Chris

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christine Anne Shaw

2 Weeks Ago

Is that so Bunny? :)) I would certainly like to keep my marbles, even if I lost everything else :))
Gee

2 Weeks Ago

Hi Christine, thanks. My wife and her 4 besties are mid menopause at present, you women are weird :).. read more
Christine Anne Shaw

2 Weeks Ago

Your wife and her friends have my sympathy. Very few women sail through the menopause without experi.. read more


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Reviews

Yes, but isn’t the other option to aging even less pleasant?

Posted 2 Days Ago


Gee

2 Days Ago

Would that be death or plastic surgery ??
Thanks for commenting
Life is fair to the all of us. Can't stop time. Can't stop the pain of getting old. Always a pleasure to read your words dear friend.
Coyote

Posted 1 Week Ago


Gee

1 Week Ago

Indeed we can't Coyote.
Thank you
Coyote Poetry

1 Week Ago

You are welcome my friend.
This made me scared for you Gee, although from the description you might run faster. If she 's only got to the menopause what lies ahead? Have you compared her to a summers day - methinks not. Seriously you've done a great comic turn here and we don't believe a word of it. How about complimenting is with he lady's riposte?
Great to read something different and funny.
Cheers,
Alan


Posted 1 Week Ago


Gee

1 Week Ago

Thank you Alan, glad you approve :)
Funny, quirky poem. Sometimes it is necessary to make light of things that are otherwise unpleasant. The fall of youth and the decay of the body are quite scary in their inevitability. We laugh so that we don't cry. Nice one.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


Gee

1 Week Ago

Light hearted piffle best described this poem.
Thank you for having a butchers and commenting.. read more
" Got big Booty and I cannot
Lie" lol been there done.scene..I survive catholic school and wooden rulers knuckle
hit by nuns and the hot flash nightmarish menopause..so we women
who been through it can
take anything you throw at us..ha ..hope your wife doesn't put you in the doghouse..or maybe she should..love your rhyme
and humor in which you
wrote this..funny write








Posted 2 Weeks Ago


and when guys start finding their bodies heading south....no bargain there either...
maybe if south meets south, they can head west and find Gold....like in a 50th anniversary.
j.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


Gee

2 Weeks Ago

Good thinking Jacob, best start looking :)
Hope you are well.
Thank you
Boy, are you in trouble now. I'm not laughing, honest, smirk. I do not in any way find this funny or true or indeed anything to laugh about. No dear your bum does not look big in that poem. Was that the right answer. Yes, I know Men do not understand. No, I do not want to be associated with this. I've already said I don't find it funny. I don't know why I am still laughing. Yes I know I shouldn't have shown you this poem. No its not what I think. But it is well written and it is rather clever. Oh did I say that out loud? Don't worry dear I'll call for my own ambulance.
Quick whilst she's not here... A fantastic tour de force. Brilliant and downright witty. Oh hello dear. No I didn't hear you come back. no I don't think that violence is the last resort of the incompetent. Yes that did hurt. Sorry for hurting your hand as well dear.
Great idea my friend really, really good, (She's gone to look for a bandage and complain to her Mother)

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gee

2 Weeks Ago

Ahhh, Mr Simm, have just returned from reading and commenting on you :))
Thank you kindly
This screams out for dueling poems! If I weren't being disciplined about writing my book, I would show you how damn agonizing it is to gaze upon an aging stud. Somehow I take offense at your depiction being ONLY about the female anatomy! *wink! wink!* Really, tho, you've pegged it perfectly. I cut my long hair about 4 inches at the beginning of 2019, waiting for it to grow back . . . can't tell if my hair is growing more slowly or if my tits are just sagging faster than my hair is growing (the ends of my hair always the same distance from my n*****s!?!?!) I'm okay with being an old bag now. I had my glory years & now I don't have to shave & all that dumb upkeep! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gee

2 Weeks Ago

Hi Margie love.. " or if my tits are just sagging faster than my hair is growing" ..priceless.
.. read more
Blimey Gee, if that is all before the menopause, I hate to think what else can go south afterwards. A very funny write after a restless night for me. Your lines had a jaunty pace through them with some sound rhyming. Thank God, I've left all that behind, me. Took some working through I can tell you:)Coming back as a man next time. Good morning, wet and windy here. That's the weather I am talking about :)

Chris

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Christine Anne Shaw

2 Weeks Ago

Is that so Bunny? :)) I would certainly like to keep my marbles, even if I lost everything else :))
Gee

2 Weeks Ago

Hi Christine, thanks. My wife and her 4 besties are mid menopause at present, you women are weird :).. read more
Christine Anne Shaw

2 Weeks Ago

Your wife and her friends have my sympathy. Very few women sail through the menopause without experi.. read more
I laughed so much at this, until i realised that to my shock and horror, perhaps the ladies would have a few verses or twelve about my own, frightening decline. No, I'm sure they wouldn't do that to us, what with us being gentlemen 😀
Nice one Gee, a perfect sunday morning livener to get us all started. Cheers.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


Gee

2 Weeks Ago

Hi Lorry, would be interesting to get their take on us, guess Margie would probably be my choice to .. read more

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194 Views
10 Reviews
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Added on January 12, 2020
Last Updated on January 20, 2020
Tags: Age, gravity, breasts, bum, menopause

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, United Kingdom



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Devoted family man and lover of life. more..

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