Zorro, Freud and tumbling tresses

Zorro, Freud and tumbling tresses

A Poem by Gee
"

Hairdressers open today

"
Today the great unwashed and hairy,
the boredom stained, unkempt masses
will descend in their droves to be shorn,
to have ill advised DIY grooming rectified,
so as to emerge into daylight once again normal.
(whatever normal may be construed as these days!)
Legions of "stylists" with muscle withered fingers
will, and with God speeding them, search for buried scalps.
With the skill and dexterity of Zorro,
scissors will be wielded to chatter at the speed of light,
their foe, hair, salt and pepper, ill maintained,
will fall victim, carpeting the floor,
as pine needles do forest floors during nature's grooming.
" Me, my, mine" tales will be told by each victim,
their inane drivel automatically activated as their couch potato,
cellulite pocked bottom makes contact with the faux leather seat,
this causing the cutters to slowly but surely shutdown
whilst stirring in them their inner Pol Pot
and a yearning to cull, a wishing for a second peak,
lockdown, and a resumption of weekly therapy sessions
where homicidal tendencies are discussed (laying down)
with a bespectacled, middle aged man, who,
now comfortable in the presence of his young lady clients,
no longer adverts his gaze when caught staring at ample cleavages,
instead ogling unashamedly, whilst often "adjusting" himself,
this adjusting releasing the sickly sweet scent of Eau De Ammonia.
BUT, these visits help, keeps national crime statistics down
and prevent further overcrowding of Her Majesty's hotels,
so the pulling, scratching, stretching of trouser front will be ignored
as will the lascivious ogling, for the foreseeable future anyway...

And so it will continue, day after long day,
cut, listen, take(money),
THERAPY SESSION,
cut, listen, take,
THERAPY SESSION,
until slowly but surely the unkempt masses are unkempt no more...



© 2020 Gee


Author's Note

Gee
What do ya fink

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Reviews

I have become the extended family's barber even to cutting what's left of my own
Finally found my place in life

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


Gee

2 Weeks Ago

My daughter cuts mine, clips it one length all over, saves me paying £20 every fortnight :)
.. read more
Pure funny! :)
I hate going to get my hair done.
Not a huge fan of small talk. (:


Posted 3 Weeks Ago


Gee

3 Weeks Ago

Which could be awkward on a blind date :))
Thank you
Ana Papaya

3 Weeks Ago

yes, it would be. :)
you're welcome!
Hair today, gone tomorrow, though I doubt that troublesome little bug buddy will be as easily disposed of. :))

'The unkempt masses,' what an image that conjures up. As for that second peak, more like a 'peek,' into what I fear is the inevitable, as it surely ain't over yet and personally I am still definitely in DIY trim mode. :))

Beccy.



Posted 4 Weeks Ago


Gee

3 Weeks Ago

Yep, expecting our friend Covid to return in the near future, should just about bring the country to.. read more
This is hilarious! I know your imagery and references come from the UK, but it was a nearly identical scene weeks ago in my US state. Fortunately, I had a bootlegger, a charming young woman with a mask and private scissors who cut my hair at home. So, I avoided the public show but benefited from the therapy session (though I think she told me more than I told her, after she'd been cooped up with her children for weeks and weeks).

The imagery in this poem is spectacular. I can't get the Zorro character (from TV) out of my head now. I also thought of that Johnny Depp movie, Edward Scissor Hands (1990), the near-maniacal character. It appears the mad rushes, unkempt men and women, have decreased in great numbers. Now, we await the second wave of COVID, and a return to shaggy and fat bottom times. Love this poem!

Posted 4 Weeks Ago


Gee

3 Weeks Ago

Shaggy and Mista Luvva, Luvva :)
Glad you enjoyed the read.
Hope is all okay with you,.. read more
As a kid (for years) I sat in my mom's beauty shop after school, waiting for her to finish (long hours cuz hairdressers didn't make much) rather than me riding the noisy bus full of rowdy bored country bumpkins going 1-1/2 hours out to the boondocks. I can attest you have swept up hair & revealed snarky treasures that even I didn't know existed in the beauty shop scenario. This is totally off the charts, first in how you describe everything with such hilarious derision and second in how you pick one tiny example from everyday relatable life to exemplify the freeing of the masses as various lockdown situations become loosened. Your observations about everything & your keen detailing . . . it's the best way I've seen this lockdown tedium portrayed with panache (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 1 Month Ago


Gee

4 Weeks Ago

You'll have me thinking I can write at this rate :))
I can, when the mood takes me, take the .. read more
Ha, brilliant Gee. From looking like a walking dead extra, back to the normality of being asked where you're going for your holidays... If they let us.
Unfortunately, still a few weeks to go up here before hairdressers etc allowed to open, but I'll be waiting a whili I think. I'm still in "Essentials only" mode and am in no hurry to get back to the hustle again.
Thanks to Youtube, I'm on my third home made haircut and am a bit impressed by it, so I reckon I'll survive a while longer.
I have noticed more and more people wearing hats though. Ameteurs 😀

Posted 1 Month Ago


Gee

1 Month Ago

Morning Lorry.
My daughter cuts mine, runs clippers all over, no way will I be going back to... read more
Lorry

1 Month Ago

Ha, we're still in the past here, its only 8 quid. 😀
What do I fink? I am not one of the masses with a cellulite pocked bum :)) I have no intention of visiting the hair salon yet Gee. I will gracefully stand back and make way for all others. This is funny. I wonder whether it will be funny after all the pubs open today. Have you booked your table? Great Saturday morning smiler, this is.

Chris

Posted 1 Month Ago


Gee

1 Month Ago

Booked a table, not on your nelly. Pubs, car parks, streets will be full of booze up nincompoops. I .. read more
Christine Anne Shaw

1 Month Ago

Grandson has suggested it, but it really is too early for me to feel comfortable. I'd be on the edge.. read more

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106 Views
7 Reviews
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Added on July 4, 2020
Last Updated on July 12, 2020
Tags: Murder, homicide, hair, psychiatrist

Author

Gee
Gee

Milton keynes, United Kingdom



About
Devoted family man and lover of life. Simple stuff for those without code breaking skills ! more..

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