Thank You...

Thank You...

A Poem by Honeypot
"

For Mike

"

 

Thank you
For sun filled days
Deep, laughing autumn eyes
Shivering tingles up my spine
Loving moments that seem to last for days
Forgiving the many things and
Kissing those times away
With my whole heart
Thank you

© 2009 Honeypot


Author's Note

Honeypot
This is a rictameter poem. The syllable count is 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 8, 6, 4, 2 for a total of 50.

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Reviews

Love concrete/shape poems.
"autumn eyes" = excellent.
Line 5, although adhering to rictameter, scans forced. Sorry, I don't have any suggestions on how to fix it.

On line 9, your intent and signature is to end with the beginning but "thank(s)' is the grammatically correct modifier for a singular noun.
To achieve you signature, you must make a substitution line 8.
perhaps something like,
"Then my heart will"

Posted 10 Years Ago


Poem is very beautiful. Kindness and love is in your words. A wise person knows to be thankful for the good things. A excellent poem.
Coyote


Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beauty is the only way to describe this poem. Its so full of love and its amazingg!! Keep writting!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was very beautiful. Truly work well done. Excellent job.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

AWwwwww!!!!

I only wish I have a partner one day with whom I can exchange poems like these :)

But then again my eye is set on a person who is a poet of motion (dance).
:D

Very enjoyable and has made me kind of hopeful hahah

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The form and flow are wonderful, with a beautiful message woven in so flawlessly. Excellent, lifting write!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

And I thought it was a Psalm, perhaps it is both!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Thank you
For starry nights
Your profound amber eyes
Toe clenching, breath taking moments
Love so rich to last more than a lifetime
Seeing past all my many flaws
Loving the hurt away
My whole heart, I
Love you

Nice job. I am loving it, and you.


Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

What can I say, so sweet and precious... the beauty and simplicity of the piece make it the most sincere thoughts of love and admiration.

Posted 10 Years Ago



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9 Reviews
Added on November 4, 2009

Author

Honeypot
Honeypot

Lynchburg, VA



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Thanks for stopping by my page. I appreciate it and will return the favor. I've been gone for almost year. I'm not sure if I will be posting anything or not, but I will be doing a little reading h.. more..

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