Echoes of You

Echoes of You

A Poem by Relic

~Echoes of You~

Your ghost hides in corners of our wrinkled sheets
reaching out transparent hands to grasp at my foolishness.

I've never enjoyed swimming naked in guilt's sea - 
It leaves me dripping remorse.
It seems, death's formidable grip can trump a full hand 
of indifference every time.

The mundane, repetitious days of our existence
held me in perspective as one
too ambivalent to shake his disembodied shoulders. 

The scent of your demise to me seemed innocuous -
fleeting, and unable to bloom;

But, flowers - I've discovered - are fragile things 
that in a short period of time
will die from the slightest chill.

And I...unbelievably -
immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner -
unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs -
never noticed at all -
your petals -
falling one by one.

How often have men picked their flower in life only to ignore her later through the trials of marriage? Her tears like petals have fallen. Now, through her absence, he realizes too late, what he has done: Disregarded and Ignored his soul mate.

Your thoughts are always welcome.


Protected by Copyscape Online Plagiarism Check

© 2023 Relic


Author's Note

Relic
Note to self: Changed the picture and a couple of words.


A quick note:

~~This is by far my most popular poem. And yet, it didn't start that way. Many young people are offended by advice or suggestions from others. They feel insulted that someone would critique their writing.

As for me, I came here not just to share my writing but to learn as well. If it wasn't for suggestions from Rick Puetter and Girl Friday (see below) I don't think the poem would have been as good. The poet Richard also helped me fine tune the poem and it is now--after all these years--(in my mind) complete.

We can always learn from other people as long as we know they have more experience and know-how than us.~~

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

How could a man see he is losing something? Or maybe didn’t want to see it and believe it is going to end empty handed…. Sad, I could feel the pain of an assumed loss, and the pain that caused the loss on the other side of this story…. And it’s still in human nature, people foolishly learning the hard way

Posted 2 Years Ago


Relic

2 Years Ago

Thanks so much for your thoughts, Ioana. :)
Ah, all the while we paint corners in bedclothes that reap a poem full of mankind's shortcomings. I love the visuals all the way through, but like the wine, you saved the best for last: "And I... unbelievably -
immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner -
unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs -
never noticed at all -
your petals -
falling one by one."

Posted 2 Years Ago


Relic

2 Years Ago

Thanks so much for your nice review, JE. :)))
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Em
Beautiful poem with clever imagery

Posted 2 Years Ago


Relic

2 Years Ago

Thank you very much for your thoughts, Em.
The metaphors paint a picture of true remorse.
Your choice of words draw the reader in.

It’s a masterpiece.
Thank you for sharing this beauty .

Posted 2 Years Ago


I dabble on a few other poetry sites and many of them have highlight features and on this poem I would just about be marking up every line I would leave a few spaces for contrast:/ I would have to say this is by far one of your most remarkable poems i have read to date I am stunned by the imagery and the silent lines in between the stanzas a fine poem from a keen mind... Mr. Relic add this one to your reliquary

Posted 3 Years Ago


Relic

3 Years Ago

I appreciate your comment, Robert. Thank you and have a merry X-mas and happy new year.
Richard has a keen eye for polishing up a diamond, this poem is ad lovely as ever. Beautiful work my friend.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Relic

3 Years Ago

Thank you for reading, Cherrie. Merry X-mas.
As you said "my most popular poem" and for a myriad of good reasons. Another could write this same poem, the same topic, and the result is something befitting a Hallmark Card. If your poem was sold on greeting cards none of us would be able to afford one. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Relic

3 Years Ago

That's kind of you to say. Thank you, Delmar.
What I saw when I read the first line was not sheets on a bed.
It was sheets of paper instead.

"Don't trade what you have for something better."




Posted 3 Years Ago


Laconic Meraki

3 Years Ago

I meant painting such beautiful pictures with your words. 🙄🤷❤
Relic

3 Years Ago

haha, well I thank you again. :-)))
Laconic Meraki

3 Years Ago

Ditto.
Keep calm and write on 💜
I always come back to read this poem, I am surprised I have never left a review. This poem speaks volumes

Posted 3 Years Ago


There is not much to be said for this Relic ... except bravo ... you have produced a near perfect piece about the loss of love and regret at the loss and the role the protagonist has played in it and come to realize the mistake that was made.
Well done ... a good write

Take care be safe

Posted 3 Years Ago


Relic

3 Years Ago

Thanks so much, Ted. :)

Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

6766 Views
339 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 43 Libraries
Added on August 3, 2012
Last Updated on March 7, 2023

Author

Relic
Relic

About
Many years. Still here. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..