Echoes of You

Echoes of You

A Poem by Relic

~Echoes of You~

Your ghost hides in corners of our wrinkled sheets
reaching out transparent hands to grasp at my foolishness.

I've never enjoyed swimming naked in guilt's sea - 
It leaves me dripping remorse.
It seems, death's formidable grip can trump a full hand 
of indifference every time.

The mundane, repetitious days of our existence
held me in perspective as one
too ambivalent to shake his disembodied shoulders. 

The scent of your demise to me seemed innocuous -
fleeting, and unable to bloom;

But, flowers - I've discovered - are fragile things 
that in a short period of time
will die from the slightest chill.

And I...unbelievably -
immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner -
unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs -
never noticed at all -
your petals -
falling one by one.

How often have men picked their flower in life only to ignore her later through the trials of marriage? Her tears like petals have fallen. Now, through her absence, he realizes too late, what he has done: Disregarded and Ignored his soul mate.

Your thoughts are always welcome.


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© 2023 Relic


Author's Note

Relic
Note to self: Changed the picture and a couple of words.


A quick note:

~~This is by far my most popular poem. And yet, it didn't start that way. Many young people are offended by advice or suggestions from others. They feel insulted that someone would critique their writing.

As for me, I came here not just to share my writing but to learn as well. If it wasn't for suggestions from Rick Puetter and Girl Friday (see below) I don't think the poem would have been as good. The poet Richard also helped me fine tune the poem and it is now--after all these years--(in my mind) complete.

We can always learn from other people as long as we know they have more experience and know-how than us.~~

My Review

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~ beautifully written... and though i'm a girl, i'll say it openly that many wives do this to their husbands too... i think that society is becoming more and more hurtful... love is not in fashion... and sensitivity is something associated with weaklings... but i'm not cynical... i do think that every word written by every poet and placed in the universe of verse plays a role in waking up readers...

Posted 11 Years Ago


Relic

11 Years Ago

Thank you very much Serah for your thoughts. Unfortunately, you are right, this particular game of l.. read more
.

11 Years Ago

~ you're very welcome... 'tis rather unfortunate...
Truthful write. And I don't think it stops there. If he neglects his spouse, what is he neglecting? His children? His career? Also, why is he neglecting it?

You open avenues of inquiry here that lead one to future writes I think.

Thank you for this.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Relic

11 Years Ago

Thanks Kenneth.
This is hauntingly beautiful. It moved me.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Relic

11 Years Ago

Thank you very much Fabian, I appreciate your review and I'm glad you liked it.
A wonderful and powerful poem. You're skill and insight shine in this. And your words are so true. Sometimes, after we have what we want, we don't take care of them anymore, just thinking they will always be there now.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Relic

11 Years Ago

I appreciate the review Tina, thank you.
This was amazing I didn't want it to end. Loved it :}

Posted 11 Years Ago


Relic

11 Years Ago

Thanks so much for the review. It's appreciated.
yep powefully instructive and your interpretation is equally as helpful. monumental writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


Relic

11 Years Ago

Thank you very much.
I don't think I've ever reviewed your writing. This was quite the first impression.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Falling Leaf.

11 Years Ago

My pleasure.
Falling Leaf.

9 Years Ago

I don't even remember posting this review... Needless to say I enjoyed reading this... again!
Relic

9 Years Ago

Thanks. I never even noticed the date. haha. I thought you did it today. LOL
But flowers, I've discovered,
are fragile and brittle things,
wilting at the slightest chill.

and

ever noticed at all--
your petals falling one by one.

I think I've just now read some real poetry. So much emotion and self inflicted pain made of suffering and self awareness. It almost hurt to read you. Powerful stuff, one of your best.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Relic

11 Years Ago

Thanks so much Muse for your kind thoughts.
Very touching and inspiring - we should all remember not to take things for granted; even the strongest relationships need maintenance - thank you so much for sharing and for reminding everyone of that :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


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Mia
What a wonderful poem, I can't imagine it being done any better! Fantastic!! Wow!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Relic

11 Years Ago

Thank you very much Mia.
Mia

11 Years Ago

You're very welcome!

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Shelved in 43 Libraries
Added on August 3, 2012
Last Updated on March 7, 2023

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Relic
Relic

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