Echoes of You

~Echoes of You~

Your ghost hides in corners of our wrinkled sheets

reaching out transparent hands to grasp at my foolishness.

I've never enjoyed swimming naked in guilt's sea - 

It leaves me dripping remorse.

It seems, death's formidable grip can trump a full hand 

of indifference every time.

The mundane, repetitious days of our existence

held me in perspective as one

too ambivalent to shake his disembodied shoulders. 

The scent of your demise to me seemed innocuous -

fleeting, and unable to bloom;

But, flowers - I've discovered - are fragile things 

that in a short period of time

will die from the slightest chill.

And I...unbelievably -

immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner -

unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs -

never noticed at all -

your petals -

falling one by one.

How often have men picked their flower in life only to ignore her later through the trials of marriage? Her tears like petals have fallen. Now, through her absence, he realizes too late, what he has done: Disregarded and Ignored his soul mate.

Your thoughts are always welcome.

Author's Note

Note to self: Changed the picture and a couple of words.


A quick note:

~~This is by far my most popular poem. And yet, it didn't start that way. Many young people are offended by advice or suggestions from others. They feel insulted that someone would critique their writing.

As for me, I came here not just to share my writing but to learn as well. If it wasn't for suggestions from Rick Puetter and Girl Friday (see below) I don't think the poem would have been as good. The poet Richard also helped me fine tune the poem and it is now--after all these years--(in my mind) complete.

We can always learn from other people as long as we know they have more experience and know-how than us.~~

Reviews

[Onlyme]

Wonderful poem. That teaches us lessons. And never to take for granted a loved one. Powerful, emotional and so heartfelt.

[Relic]

Thank you for your thoughts, Dee.

[Onlyme]

Thank you for sharing. Relic.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I love the growth throughout this piece. I read it several times to soak in all the experience of it. Thank you so much for sharing

[Relic]

Thank you for reading, Queenie.

[Bacchus]

The write is enough without the explanation... Powerful piece

[Relic]

Thank you, Bacchus

[Amy R]

Such a deep poem, great write.

[Relic]

Thank you, Amy.

[Akash gaikwad]

This is poetry is very deep. The
way you have written it takes it on a new level. I had to imagine every sentence clearly to understand it better.
I only didn't understand one sentence though....if you can break it down for me I would be happy
"death's formidable grip can trump a full hand
of indifference every time."

[Relic]

Thank you very much.

It has to do with card playing. (in the USA). It basically means one thing has the advantage over something else.

[Akash gaikwad]

Ohh again that's deep. Thank you so much. Liked this poetry really.😊

[Fran Marie]

Many people do not realized or value what. They have until It.s. gone.
Nice Work

[Relic]

Thank you, Fran.

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

As always. Your images are so depth filled and true. The wrinkled sheets - delicious phrasing! I love it when you can revisit and revise an older piece and finesse it with new thinking. Sometimes being able to see it with different eyes can bring the thing you felt was missing.

[Relic]

I agree, Jennie. Thanks for your thoughts.

[Chris Shaw]

Flowers need to be nurtured to get the best out of them. This poem can be read on several levels. It is written in a very poetic way, lovely lines and images. A feast for the eyes and other senses. It also carries a strong message, strong metaphors. A great piece of poetry. Flowers are like children, my children are my flowers.

[Relic]

Thank you for reading, Christine.

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome, and it was my pleasure.

[Chris Shaw]

Can't believe that it is a year since I read this poem Tim. Good to read again with its strong message. Nurture is the name of the game. Often not realised until it is too late.
Regrets come at a hard price.


Chris

[Chris Shaw]

And another read of this one Tim. Such a beautiful poem. Merry Christmas to you.

All the best.

Chris

[Relic]

You're very kind, Chris. Thanks and the same to you. :)

[Mrudula Rani]

This is a masterpiece, superb poetry in every sense. Regrets of a sensitive soul! Why Is hindsight 20/20?

[Relic]

Thank you, Mrudula.

[RW Erskine]

interesting indeed
kind of reminds of something Dylan might write if you get my meaning.

[Relic]

I do, thank you for stopping by.