Wild-child

Wild-child

A Poem by Relic

Image result for Surrealism Art Girl











Laura girl~Baby-girl~
you're only eight months old~
I hope this crib can hold you in,
You're acting too darn bold!

Laura girl~Child-girl~
what are you up to now?
That moody scoff you're showing off
ain't good for you no-how.

Laura girl~Teenage-girl~
tell me where you've been?
Consorting with a troubled crowd
Will lead to years of sin.

Laura girl~Troubled-girl~
no wonder you're in jail~
Ingesting all those nasty drugs
Has left you sick and frail.

Laura girl~Tragic-girl~
the police were at our door~
That car crash robbed your precious life;
a beer was on the floor!

Laura girl~Silent-girl~
you look like you're asleep
your polished casket shows my face
and all I do is weep.

Laura girl~Angel girl~
we're sending you our love~
Our broken hearts can only pray
you're somewhere up above.
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© 2019 Relic


Author's Note

 Relic
Note to self: Poem was revised on 7/27/15.

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Reviews

What stands out for me is how the attitude of the narrator feels so cold & detached. It's as if the narrator is blaming the victim for the way her life went, seemingly standing above this, pronouncing what a flop this little life turned out to be. This is a freaky & wicked way to frame such a message & I love it just becuz people ARE weirder than you would expect. I was picturing this narrator as a wild child & in denial that something from him/her set the example for this latest wild child. This is highly complex stuff that provokes a ton of thought & feeling (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 5 Months Ago


 Relic

5 Months Ago

The first two lines of the review couldn't be more right. This came from a funeral I attended. The m.. read more
A poem in a diary format of a life cut short. Tragic but inot uncommon. Sadly you hear of this all too frequently. Young people who have literally a car crash of a life. Making the wrong choices, every parent's nightmare. Well related, flows and rhymes well. Great poetry Tim, you know what you are doing.

Chris

Posted 5 Months Ago


 Relic

5 Months Ago

You're very kind, thank you.
this is also very very sad yet love how u wrote it her stages of life till her death
whew u are so talented

Posted 2 Years Ago


 Relic

2 Years Ago

ha sometimes I wonder. lol Thank you marilyn for being so kind. :)
A poingnant and eloquent poem, skillfully crafted and,I felt, particularly thought provoking, great work

Posted 2 Years Ago


 Relic

2 Years Ago

Thanks very much George.
George Coombs

2 Years Ago

Your welcome
I have no words....my voice is in my awe!! Well freaking done!!

(you forgot to insert "like" in "you look [] you're asleep")

Posted 2 Years Ago


 Relic

2 Years Ago

AHHHH!! I knew I forgot something. lol Thanks so much for your observations. Not a lot of people h.. read more
emipoemi

2 Years Ago

a lot of people here are too shy to be bold.
Tragically sad 😢 piece of writing which for me reflects how in life ones guardians cannot shelter our live ones from the dangers society presents.
Deeply emotional but poignant and eloquent poem.

Posted 2 Years Ago


 Relic

2 Years Ago

Thank you Mairie
Smoking Man

2 Years Ago

You're welcome 😊,my pleasure.
First, I love the picture that you chose to go with the poem. It's midway between the innocence of the beginning of the poem and the tragedy at the end.

The poem itself innocently takes the reader by the hand and unexpectedly leads them on a journey most unimagined. The love for Laura is portrayed throughout, and all one can feel for the writer is heartache.

There is such beauty in pain, but the thorns are really sharp.

Nicely penned.

Posted 2 Years Ago


 Relic

2 Years Ago

I appreciate your thoughts Linda, thank you.
Wow...this sounds all too familiar..I am saddened by ur loss..I too was held in bondage by chemical obsession..I am very grateful to be here..I shouldn't be but God had other plans for me..

Posted 2 Years Ago


S.Jane

2 Years Ago

Oh I was raised to be a good person, a good woman...n shes always been in there but addiction turn.. read more
 Relic

2 Years Ago

I have friends that have been addicted for decades. I don't know how they function but they do. It m.. read more
S.Jane

2 Years Ago

Sounds about right
This tore my mother's heart to pieces. What I enjoyed as the sing song quality of a silly lullaby turned so quickly tragic that it left my heart spinning. From promise to torture, that inevitable tire screaming, can't stop in time and not a damn thing you can do about it helplessness that accompanies parenthood. That is potent writing.

Posted 2 Years Ago


 Relic

2 Years Ago

I'm glad you liked PL, thanks.
I think something you captured very well, maybe without even realizing, is how people will notice your troubles but will only offer judgement rather than help until it is much too late. I love your artistic choices, always adding to the story.

Posted 2 Years Ago


 Relic

2 Years Ago

:) Thank you.

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1412 Views
40 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 8 Libraries
Added on August 27, 2012
Last Updated on July 24, 2019
Tags: Baby, teenage, adult, trouble
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