Kiss

Yeah, so I wrote this

The problem with really wanting to kiss someone:

When you are near them everything else seems like white noise,

It’s like you have tunnel vision, and they are the only person you can see.

You just want to lean into their arms and plant a kiss on their cheek, or their lips.  

You always long to be close to them,

To smell their lovely familiar scent.

To see the way their hair flows so effortlessly.

To gaze into their eyes that resemble a storming sea.

There are so many problems with really wanting to kiss someone.

Author's Note

I would love some tips on the punctuation of this poem please!

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I'll start with punctuation . . . I'm a poet who uses minimal punctuation. I would delete the "end" punctuation on many of your lines. I believe a line break is enuf to let the reader know there's a slight separation in the thought flow. As for your message, I am stunned at how you convey this sensation so realistically, I felt myself leaning toward another person, almost like I'm about to pounce. I love the way you include all the senses so we can feel the sensations you're describing. I love that you describe something totally pleasant, then your final line considers this "so many problems" -- it's kinda sarcastic playful that way. I have had guys practically knock my lips off with a sudden pounce, so it's not the best way to go. I prefer the very slow approach with little nuzzles & hair-wisping along the way . . . give the other person some idea that you're going to pounce! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[Anastasia]

Thank you so much.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

thanks for entry again into my competiton this time what i dream competition. its truly lovely poem,thanks again.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

thankyou for your beautiful kiss poem loved it
thanks for entering it into my romantic competition i am still going through over 32 entries
i may be all day sitting on the lounge in my pjs yet!
I love the way you describe a kiss its awesome
thanks again!

[Oliver Lee]

uhhhhhhh thats a big mood

[RachelsGranddaughter]

Really lovely poem. Took me back to being a teenager madly in love, almost unable to physically control myself around my person. Don't worry too much about punctuation, the "rules" don't apply to poetry so much; some of the best poets are known BECAUSE they broke the rules, i.e. e e cummings. Keep writing. Great work.

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing description of a kiss Anastasia. You made the reader feel and vision the temptation of a kiss. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.

Coyote

[Spilt]

This poem was awesome because you tied it all together by repeating the first line you said-making it a full circle. As far as punctuation, I really don't think there's much I can say but I really liked this poem!

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Kiss breaks down barriers between people making connection stronger and deeper- nothing like sharing it with someone special everything else just disappears- what wonderful words 🌹

[Anastasia]

Thank you.

[¿]

I ain't that good at making perfect poetry piece but enjoyed it a lot.
The writing that spreads joy to a joyous atmosphere doesn't need any rectification.
You expressed well!!

[Anastasia]

Thank you so much