Dear Elliot

Dear Elliot

A Poem by Anastasia
"

I wrote this to my boyfriend.

"

God,

I’m so awkward.


I so scared,

So afraid  to mess up,

Or say the wrong thing,

Not because I don’t love you,

But because I love you so much

So I’m scared

Scared to say or do something wrong.


I’m sorry,

I’m not good with words,

I’m better with actions.

That’s why I’m trying so hard to plan an amazing date with you.

Because maybe,

Just maybe,

It will make up for my lack of words.


But I’m awkward because I love you more than I can put into words,

Not because I don’t care.

© 2018 Anastasia


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Featured Review

It's hard for me to imagine being this timid about approaching another person . . . you have definitely shown us how this feels in a very vivid way. Your expressions are childlike & innocent, as if it's the first time you've felt this way or tried to express it. I wouldn't want you to change anything, becuz this is a perfect capture of total inability to express oneself, around another. But just for future writing, one idea that occurred to me is that I would've loved to hear more about this date . . . you toss out this little nugget, but this is where you could SHOW instead of TELL . . . let your audience see the other side of this shyness & inability to find words . . . balance out this picture by showing more details about how such a date would be between you & your beloved (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Typo on the third line...

In a few years you will probably look back and chuckle at this.

If you're a adult and you still feel like this, well, sucks to be you... it will likely not ever get any easier if that's the case.

Posted 5 Years Ago


It's hard for me to imagine being this timid about approaching another person . . . you have definitely shown us how this feels in a very vivid way. Your expressions are childlike & innocent, as if it's the first time you've felt this way or tried to express it. I wouldn't want you to change anything, becuz this is a perfect capture of total inability to express oneself, around another. But just for future writing, one idea that occurred to me is that I would've loved to hear more about this date . . . you toss out this little nugget, but this is where you could SHOW instead of TELL . . . let your audience see the other side of this shyness & inability to find words . . . balance out this picture by showing more details about how such a date would be between you & your beloved (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Action are better than words dear Anastasia. I felt the concern and love in the words. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wonderful that you love so deep that it rattles your bones- sometimes our emotions turn our actions upside down- better to be nervous and plan a date than not to and never know- 🌹

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really hope that this message gets across to your significant other because this poem is so pure and raw it's only best he knows your true intentions. I really enjoyed this poem

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Red
I'm certain that your boyfriend isn't fazed by you're lack of words (probably because he hasn't noticed.) You are enough, with or without words. He sucks as words more than you can imagine, but he tries. And you're trying, so everything is fine.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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6 Reviews
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Added on April 19, 2018
Last Updated on April 19, 2018

Author

Anastasia
Anastasia

VT



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