It's hard for me to imagine being this timid about approaching another person . . . you have definitely shown us how this feels in a very vivid way. Your expressions are childlike & innocent, as if it's the first time you've felt this way or tried to express it. I wouldn't want you to change anything, becuz this is a perfect capture of total inability to express oneself, around another. But just for future writing, one idea that occurred to me is that I would've loved to hear more about this date . . . you toss out this little nugget, but this is where you could SHOW instead of TELL . . . let your audience see the other side of this shyness & inability to find words . . . balance out this picture by showing more details about how such a date would be between you & your beloved (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
It's hard for me to imagine being this timid about approaching another person . . . you have definitely shown us how this feels in a very vivid way. Your expressions are childlike & innocent, as if it's the first time you've felt this way or tried to express it. I wouldn't want you to change anything, becuz this is a perfect capture of total inability to express oneself, around another. But just for future writing, one idea that occurred to me is that I would've loved to hear more about this date . . . you toss out this little nugget, but this is where you could SHOW instead of TELL . . . let your audience see the other side of this shyness & inability to find words . . . balance out this picture by showing more details about how such a date would be between you & your beloved (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Wonderful that you love so deep that it rattles your bones- sometimes our emotions turn our actions upside down- better to be nervous and plan a date than not to and never know- 🌹
I really hope that this message gets across to your significant other because this poem is so pure and raw it's only best he knows your true intentions. I really enjoyed this poem
I'm certain that your boyfriend isn't fazed by you're lack of words (probably because he hasn't noticed.) You are enough, with or without words. He sucks as words more than you can imagine, but he tries. And you're trying, so everything is fine.