I never said "I love you"

I never said "I love you"

A Story by Icelanna



   Everyday I tell myself: I will not tell him. The desire to tell him how I really feel when ever I see him is building strongly in my stomach. The butterflies flap instantaneously at the sound of his intake of breath, the first syllables to sound from his perfectly puckered lips and the mere bat of his long lashes as he gazes at me from his seat. I have loved than man for years, feels more like decades.

   I watch him talk animatedly with friends at the office, admiring him through the clear glass walls of his office. The thrill I get from seeing his fingers taps along the keys of his keyboard, the turning feeling of love for him in my heart deepens. If only I could tell him.

   My eyes are forever stuck on him; I know where he is, whom he’s with and how to find him. I long for him, the itch of being an unloved member of his commercial family needs to be relieved but I’m stuck in a zone I can’t escape.

   “I need the report in an hour.” His deep voice rings through my ears as he appears in front of me, my reverie of his fingers stroking my neck banished quickly.

   “Consider it done.” I swallow nervously, as if he’s witnessed my deepest desires for him.

   “Are you doing anything after work?” He perches on my desk, my throat tightening at his interest.

   “No.” I say quickly with a shake of the head as I lean forward. I’m desperate to be near him. I can almost smell the Hugo Boss from his thick neck as he tucks his hands into his pockets. His sharp blue suit outlining the very man I’ve worshipped silently for the last five years.

   “You may need to come over; I have a big story coming up.” He says down to me as my office chair shrinks my small frame.

   “Of course.” I breathe, entranced by his beauty.

   His blue eyes shine with a gleam I want reserved for me, his perfect hair gelled into place sculpts his precious face with a mysterious edge that I would love to unfold. The depth in his eyes bore into me as I’m transfixed in his gaze. I swallow as I watch his lips move with easy grace, caressing the letters of my name as he invites me to his place.

   “You see Callie, you’re the best reporter here, how can I not put you on it?” He smiles a sexy half smile which makes my insides tighten.

   “Thank you.” I blush furiously at his praise and he kicks his smile up to a full, glowing smile that makes my heart melt.

   “I’ll drive us there.” He nods and I clear my throat, I can feel the urge rising like the bile in my stomach to confess everything. To splurge my thoughts and deepest desires to him in front of everyone I work with.

   “Perfect.” I manage as I swallow past the brick forming in my throat.

   “See you later honey.” He stands and nods to me.

   I let out a deep cleansing breath and I smile to myself at his endearment. His shoulders rolling as he walks towards the break room as my eyes can’t help but follow him.

   I have plagued myself for years to rid myself of him and my job. The golden band around his finger prevents me entirely from telling him that I am in love with him. The woman he loves is my opposite and I know by that fact that he sees me as nothing more than a friend and a co-worker. Still, the undying need to feel his kisses before bed and the smooth skin against my hand lingers. I’ve worried myself into a pit over him and he doesn’t even know it.

   The rest of the day drags by because of constant time watching, awaiting five p.m for our time together to work on an important case he’s eager to share with me. He stands in his office and I pry my eyes away and aim to look as nonchalant as possible as he walks down the steps towards my desk whilst covering his crisp white shirt with his jacket.

   “All finished?” He asks as I click off my laptop. I nod and stand, straightening the black flowered dress I put on for him this morning.

   “All set.” I say as I pull my coat onto my shoulders and teeter around to him.

   He’s a big man, at least six feet tall and against him I am no match. Just his appearance boggles me, intimidates me to a point where I want to run away from him sometimes but I would happily run to him if he opened his arms.

   He’s been married for two years. It broke my heart to see him fit a perfect gold ring around the finger of another woman during the most beautiful wedding I have ever seen. I was there, witnessing the shattering of my fragile heart, reining my tears from falling at my devastation.

   “Thank you for coming over on such short notice.” He says as he ushers me into the elevator.

   “It’s okay.” I half smile, my confidence shattered whenever we meet the same gaze.

   “You look very lovely today.” He admires me, taking a step back and running his eyes along my favourite flower dress.

   “Thank you.” I blush as I fail to meet his gaze.

   “Did you have a date tonight or something?” He tucks his hands into his pockets and tilts his head.

   “No.” I breathe and he nods.

   “It’s just you look sensational I wondered if you had some lucky man lined up.”

   I swallow harshly. “No, I ordered it a few weeks ago, only yesterday it got delivered.”

   “I like it, it suits you.” He smiles at me and I shrink under his gorgeous gaze. Luckily my shallow breathing is undetectable as we stroll out into the lobby and to the car park.  

   I’ve always liked going home with him, it allows me to live out a fantasy that we are together and we are going home because we live together. Unfortunately it’s ruined by the entrance of his equally stunning wife Cassandra. Her glossy brown hair straightened perfectly to her hip every time I see her, her tiny waist emphasized by a tight belt and her gorgeously long legs stand tall in flesh coloured heels. I’m short, my legs only come up to half of hers, my waistline is a little bigger than it should be and my dark blonde hair is always curled naturally into a weave of annoying curls which bounce on my shoulders.

   It’s a short drive, barely five minutes but prying my eyes off watching him drive is an almost impossible task. The way he sits back leisurely, his hands relaxed on the wheel and his strong gaze piercing the road ahead. It takes all my will not to drool.

   “So what’s the story?” I ask to snap myself out of my dreams.

    “It’s for a local Millionaire, he’s getting married next month and I want us to be the first newspaper in town to get every detail and possibly pictures.” He says catching my gaze as he abruptly looks at me and then back to the road.

   “Interesting.” I nod as I admire the new florist on the high street.

   His house is enchanting; the curled drive up a gravel path to a three story palace with smooth white painted walls, perfectly mowed lawns with white picket fences, the beige double doors to his house close in his love. Those doors close behind me as he pushes the small of my back.

   I scamper into his polished hallway, the marble clacking under my heels as I wander further in. I know my way, I’ve been here many times and I always hate leaving.  

   “Glass of something?” He offers as he leads me into his stainless steel kitchen.

   “Yes please. Red if you have it.” I hold my clutch between my claws as I notice a framed picture of Cassandra on the piano.

   “There we go.” He hands me a wine glass, my rings clink against it as he shuts the fridge and I sip it as my eyes wander around his home.

   “Let’s have a rest before we start working again.” He says pulling a chair out for me at his kitchen island. I sit nervously on the high chair and he leans sideways, looking at me as he runs the tip of his finger around the glass.

   “Okay.” I breathe as I sip.

   “So what have you been up to lately?”

   “Just working mainly.” I breathe embarrassed by my lack of social and love life.

   “No lucky man in your life at the moment Callie?”

   I swallow a mouthful and touch my lips as I do and shake my head. His eyes seem to widen as I admit to my loneliness, little does he know he’s the reason for it.

   “How can a girl like you be single?” He asks in disbelief. I shrug, thrown by his question.

   “I don’t know.” I breathe.

   Why is he asking me about this, shouldn’t we be working on this ground-breaking story he wants me to write?

   “Well if girls like you are still on the market then there must be a line of men waiting to find you.”

   “If only.” I muse out loud and he chuckles.

   “You know I’ve always liked you Callie.” He breathes and my heart stops thumping its loving rhythm at his admission.

   “Really?” I ask, rather pleased.

   “Of course, you come in everyday wearing a lovely smile, oozing enthusiasm and love for your work. You’re a pleasure to work with.”

   My cheeks heat at his bluntness and I feel myself fidget on the seat as I turn the glass by its stem. I feel his eyes on me and I’m paralysed to move or to meet his gaze, his eyes allow me to get lost in them for an eternity and I can’t help but fall even further for this married man.

   “You give me hope that someone during our day will come up with something brilliant.”

   “Do I?” I question and he nods.

   “Every time, which is why I want you on this story.”

   Ah. Back to work…

   “Okay.” I nod.

   “But now your here working is really the last thing I want to do.” He nods to the side.

   “Oh?” I breathe as my hand vibrates the glass as I lift it to my lips.

   “Why don’t we go out and get something to eat?” He suggests.

   My blood runs thick with excitement at his invitation and I nod before the glass leaves my hand on the marble. He beams and stands quickly.

   “Great, I’m starving anyway, I worked through lunch.”

   I stand along side him and he leads me back to his car.

   He drives for a while, nearly twenty minutes and to my surprise he pulls outside a restaurant. A valet kindly takes his Audi to the lot and then he grabs my hand, entwining his fingers between mine as he pulls my stunned stance towards the half glass double doors.

   He finds us a seat and sits opposite me, ignoring the woman at the entrance who asks for a reservation number. I wonder vaguely if he prearranged this.

   “Well at least you’re dressed for a date.” He says after he orders us a drink.

   “I suppose.” I choke as I recall the word date in his last sentence.

   “You do look beautiful Callie, I’ve always thought it.”

   You’re married! To Cassandra who hates me because she knows I am in love with you!

   “Thank you.” I blush, my head filling with warm blood, making my head light and my vision a bit blurry.

   “I’ve always wanted to take you out, especially now since the divorce is finished.”

   I am catapulted back into my seat.


   “You’ve gotten divorced?” I ask quickly to double-check. He nods as he thanks the waiter I haven’t seen as he sips the glass he’s been given.

   “Yes, it was finalized a few weeks ago.”

   I drop my eyes to the hand he’s holding the glass in and that gold band is missing, the faded paleness of his skin where it sat is staring back at me. My stomach does a back flip.

   “Oh, I didn’t know.” I breathe as the possibility of him really being mine floods through my system, sparking my excitement like an electrical charge as my finger tips tingle.

   “I couldn’t handle it no more, she became too much.”

   “Oh.” I say as I am winded by his new information.

   “Plus she was seeing another man.”

   How on earth could a model like Cassandra refuse a man as perfect as Mr Adams while she’s in bed with someone else? Is she mad?

   They married two years ago in Hawaii and I went to pacify my need to witness it, if I didn’t I would convince myself it didn’t happen.

   “Can we get a candle?” He asks the passing waiter and I stop sipping my rosé wine to look at him in surprise. Three minutes later a tall candle stood in a crystal holder flickers between us.  He’s turning this dinner into a romantic date. Even he used the word date.

   “Why a candle?” I ask curiously.

   “Why not, its romantic and it makes your eyes sparkle.” He observes as he cups his chin in his hand as he gazes at me. I swallow, blown away by the dream I’ve created coming true.

   “Oh, thank you for noticing.” I sit back, feeling a tingle in my spine.

   “I know Callie.” He breathes after we order our dinner and the restaurant has lowered the lighting at the sun begins to set.

   “You know what?” I breathe nervously.

   “That you love me.” He says softly, cautious not to upset me.

   I feel my face freeze, along with the rest of my body and it’s interrupted with that damn waiter who puts a plate in front of me. I stutter and he half smiles with a soft look in his eyes that brings me a small inkling of comfort.

   “I’ve known for a while.” He says almost leisurely tucking into his steak.

   “Oh.” I stutter as the knife and fork stare at me as I refuse to move, still stunned by his bravery.

   “Callie.” He looks at me as I swallow and lean forward to grab my glass. “Don’t be nervous.” His soothing voice hums along with the quartet that I hadn’t noticed that have begun playing in the nearby corner.


   “I’m afraid Callie.” He says admittedly.

   “Of what?” I pick up my fork, my fingers giving a small shake.

   “That I don’t feel that way about you.” He says; his blue eyes to my brown.

   My heart stops completely as it smashes into a thousand pieces as I stare at him with my eyes embarrassingly filling with hot tears. My throat tightens as I fight to hold them but a single tear drips as we stare at each other causing me to break away and smudge it down my face.

   “Callie.” He coos as his face falls at my upset. The tears drip silently onto my napkin at I look down to hide my eyes from his. He stretches his hand out and touches my hand. “I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

   The hum of the strings in the distance strengthen as my world along with him fades into a bleakness I’ve feared it would. The music rising in my head to a painful screech as his voice cuts through my heart.

   “I’m fine.” I breathe with an embarrassed smile and he huffs, his shoulders slump and he sighs. I look away and I feel him move besides me, my eyes fixed on the lamppost outside the window.

   “Look at me.” He breathes.

   I reluctantly turn my head to him to find him kneeling besides me, his hand holding mine and only on one knee. I’ve dreamt of having him in this position in the very same place confessing his undying love for me but now I know he’s there because he knows he’s broken my heart.

   “Callie, I don’t love you…” He trails and my eyes just drip tears down my chest as he repeats it. “I’m in love with you.”

   I stop suddenly and look him straight in the face. His eyes filled with a deep passion and love for me that I’ve craved for so long, stare back at my glistening tearful ones and I look down as he moves.

   “What?” I breathe as those tears stop abruptly.

   “I want you to be mine.” He breathes in a loving soft voice and from his pocket he pulls out a ring. I clasp a hand to my mouth as I see the diamond sparkle in his fingers and fresh tears of happiness roll down my face as he slips the ring onto my left hand.

   “Oh God.” I squeal as he pushes it onto my ring finger.

   “Will you marry me Callie?” He asks with a joy to his voice which radiates through me, sewing my heart back into life as it pumps rapidly with excitement.

   “But-” I begin to tell him he doesn’t know me, that I’ve never even kissed him but instead he kisses me, leaning in as he kneels on the floor of this restaurant, planting his soft lips against mine and my heart does overtime and I nod quickly against his lips. They pucker instantly at his contact and I feel my throat release the lump it formed a minute ago to take in his love for the very first time.

   “I know we barely know each other Callie, but I’ve loved you since I hired you but I never realized it until I married the wrong woman.”

   “Really?” I squeak and he nods.

   “We love each other, let’s just make it public.” He breathes, running those fingers tips up my neck like my daydream I had this afternoon; capturing my eager lips between his as everyone in the restaurant claps happily as I wrap my hand around his neck as I accept his most important proposal. 

© 2013 Icelanna

Author's Note

Because I do get mushy sometimes XD

My Review

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Featured Review

Some of your word choices are questionable. I feel like maybe you're trying a little too hard to find an extravagant word, and you choose one that doesn't really make sense. Sometimes simple is better.

Interesting twist at the end. Not at all what I expected. Good job.

Posted 11 Years Ago

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


11 Years Ago

I get what you mean but I worded it in comparison to the topic. Love is complex and I aimed to given.. read more


sounds like a good film plot icelanna

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


11 Years Ago

Coming to a cinema near you lol

11 Years Ago

i'll pay to watch it just for u lol but if its rubbish popcorns coming ur way lol


11 Years Ago

I'll be back Tuesday.

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


11 Years Ago

Okay lol x
yes...mushy fer sure...but well written...that's wut counts

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


11 Years Ago

Lol thank you very much for reading and reviewing! x

11 Years Ago

welcome...keep writing!
Your grammar and sentence structure need to be cleaned up. Commas are key! The story jumps around quite a bit. I had to re-read a lot because I wasn't sure of the exact setting, and I had a hard time distinguishing between what was actually happening, and what was being pulled from the past (when the wife enters for example) This jumping around can happen easily when writing such a fast paced story (something I see many a student struggle with!) My biggest piece of advice is clean, clean clean!

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


11 Years Ago

Thank you :) I'll give it a read x
Interesting story, the plot seems good and it's very well written...I usually don't like color romantic stories, but this has something apart from the others....great job

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


11 Years Ago

Aw thank you, and thanks for reviewing and reading x :)
A very well written story. I like the set-up of the character and the positive ending. The description of thoughts and emotion was enough to give strength to the story. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


11 Years Ago

Thank you for reading and reviewing! :)
So beautiful!! XD Darn you for making me tear up... And I usually don't particularly go for romance and mushy stuff, but this was an exception. ;) Awesome story!! (: You're an amazing writer. ^_^

190/100 (;

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


11 Years Ago

Thank you so much!! Glad you liked it :') x
Wow I just can't bare to ready this all right now! But I liked what I did read! xoox

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


11 Years Ago

Lol! Well thank you for...attempting it! Thanks for reading and reviewing x
Some of your word choices are questionable. I feel like maybe you're trying a little too hard to find an extravagant word, and you choose one that doesn't really make sense. Sometimes simple is better.

Interesting twist at the end. Not at all what I expected. Good job.

Posted 11 Years Ago

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


11 Years Ago

I get what you mean but I worded it in comparison to the topic. Love is complex and I aimed to given.. read more
admittedly, i am no fan of chapters and short stories, but this one is captivating and well written, and.....i love a love poem or story. i'll bet you have some wonderful romantic poetry?

Posted 11 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


11 Years Ago

Afraid not, i'm not a poetry kinda girl, my favourite is chapters and stories, poetry isn't a strong.. read more

11 Years Ago

that is a shame, as you write beautifully....if i weren't looking at over 30 r/r's right now, i woul.. read more

11 Years Ago

Aw thank you, I know how you feel I have 24 in my r/r at the moment. Read whenever you're ready I'd .. read more

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18 Reviews
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on January 4, 2013
Last Updated on January 4, 2013



Wales, Caerphilly, United Kingdom

Hi guys! Sorry, I don't come on here all that often anymore. I'm busy in university and editing my book! I'm sorry If I haven't read any of your requests. Anyway, you can read the rest of "Madelin.. more..


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