Rewind

Rewind

A Poem by Immortal Beloved

I know I royally fucked up I will admit that because I’m a man not an immature little s**t.

I absolutely care and cherish you with all my heart Green Lantern you know this no matter how much you hate my guts.

All I did was tell the truth but I never EVER meant to push you away and freak you out.

And since I can’t fully explain over the phone because it’s much more harder for me than you know I chose to explain via WordPerfect 12 ^__^.

The reason why I confessed my true deep feelings for you was because I really do f*****g love you with everything I got.

But you know this already :) so you’re probably saying to yourself "Why won’t he just give up and leave me alone I don’t love him and I don’t really give a f**k about him?"

Because that’s simple I’m defiant as hell rebel to the core and I never gave up on anything I told you this already during one of our cuddling sessions.

But since I only told you the short version of it I’m gonna tell the slightly full version it’s still the same only that I won’t go into full detail.

 

So it’s 2006 way before I knew of you and you knew of I’m on allpoetry.com doing my rp and s**t that is when I met Tina (the pedophile) well actually I met her in dec 2005 but its whatever anyhoo we were friends and lovers for a time till she told me about how she was cyber sexing with young guys 14-16 yrs old so being the noble truthful person I am I told on her because those guys were dating my friends on the site and homey don’t play that s**t.

Naturally she took it with open arms lol NOT! She threatened my little sister’s life so grabbing my laptop up I wrote up my masterpiece poem: The Toy Fights Back. And this single poem sparked the controversial rp war on the site which lasted until dec 9 f*****g months of hell and pain for me literally in the end I won the war but came out of it with congestive heart failure.

Cause and effect babe I unlocked a side of me I never knew I had I unleashed my dragon and went all out: dragged her personal life out, bashed her failed marriages, her daughter not talking to her, her divorce, her lovers legal and illegal, and her "seizure" that she claims to have and I’ll admit that was my favorite: By the way if you wrecked I’d run over to see you having a seizure I’d ask "Quick what’s the number for 911?"

 

Yea I know it’s crude but it was efficient.

I was the spearhead that ripped through her at mach infinity speed over and over and it felt great.

And for the first time in my life, people respected me and saw me a hero and a role model because my role models were and still are D Generation X corny I know but when I ended my bash pieces with the DX slogan which is written on my wall behind my tv people shut the f**k up and walked away.

That’s how hardcore I was because people knew that if they fucked with me I’d gangrape them right back no lube raw and hard.

And wouldn’t ya know it? People on the site now and then talk about me and tell others to suck it so see my legacy lives on.

But I’ve asked myself: Would I go back and change it so I didn’t get banned for life?

And the answer is mixed yea I would but then I would never have learned that I could actually stand up for myself and take down the opposition with such brutal voraciousness.

Because all my life I was always picked on and made to feel like I was nothing and that I’ll never amount to anything this includes school and my mother.

And you ask yourself "The f**k’s this have to do with anything?"

This is the point in my life where I learned to stand up for myself not to take other people’s s**t.

Our song is playing through my headphones and im singing along to it yea you missed it I was doing backstreet boys earlier anyway back to the story at hand.

As for Tina well she’s banned for life as well we don’t keep in touch ironically enough I was willing to forgive and forget and she did apologize only took her a year to do it but I just don’t know I moved on from her and allpoetry that’s in my past (I’m singing along to nice & slow by usher)

Fast forward to 2009 its you and me together now over the past three years I’ve had several failed online relationships.

I know you don’t wanna hear it but I’m being honest with you I need you to understand why I’m the way I am.

My one ex She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was recently pregnant and her bf found out and didnt want anything to do with her or the child so she called me up and asked if I wanted to be daddy and I said yes.

Another truth about me: I’ve been wanting to be a father since I was 12-13 the church across the street I volunteered for VBS and I got to hold a small 3 year old blonde haired boy named Colton and he almost fell asleep on my right shoulder and in that moment of time I knew I wanted to be a father.

So naturally I accepted the offer happy as a clam four weeks later due to stress and s**t she lost the baby I was devastated because just the other day we were talking about baby names so yeah.

I don’t talk to her anymore because for one her phones are disconnected so I cant get ahold of her anyway.

Fast forward to me and you Friday in the parking lot and I’m crying and confessing my ultimate secret of why I truly deeply love you (singing along to this I promise you).

 

Now I didn’t mean to scare you off, offend you, hurt you, confuse you no that was not my intention.

My intention was to show you that you are the one I’ve been searching for all my life I lie to you not.

I don’t except you to live up Amy’s expectations I expect you to live up to Morgan Kincaid’s expectations that’s what I want.

She’s not even real just a character I made up do you understand that Morgan?

Do you really understand that when I said on the porch "What do I see when I look into your eyes? I see my reflection and that’s how much you mean to me"

Not her.

Not an ex.

Not a porno.

Just You.

When you came into my life everything fell into place perfectly and to be absolutely goddamn honest you are my first real relationship flesh and blood that I could be proud of and yes I did brag about you hickeys and all ^_^ I told my closest friends how much you meant to me and how you’re the one MY plus one.

(Singing along to as long as you love me by BSB)

See you are my world and I fucked up by telling you how much YOU really mean to me.

I’m sorry I told you like I did but I couldn’t keep it in but that’s me I always tell the truth even when I don’t mean to hurt my woman’s feelings.

I’ll tell you something else I lied about getting the apartment I did it because I thought you’d come back to me but alas I failed and someone else moved in so yeah you get one free punch to me just not in the face.

I still have the keychain you gave me couldn’t throw it away because when I touch it I see you running up and into my arms and our first kiss at the truck on the 15th it means too much to just discard so it shall hang on my keyring as a reminder of a great love we shared and hopefully some day we’ll rekindle it.

I’m sorry I turned you into Parallax never meant to drive you away only meant to bring you closer to my heart.

Another truth about me: I’m completely new to dating it’s no lie no joke and honestly when all we did was hit second base I thought that was all you wanted me for just sex and it scared me yes it did but that changed when we went to the movies especially when you smiled on the way as I sang Rapper’s Delight.

(Singing Battlefield by Jordin Sparks)

I never ever ever meant to hurt you in any way shape or form I’m a hopeless romantic who shows how much I really treasure your heart.

I still want to do stuff with you too ya know.

I still want you to meet my grandmother.

I still want you to go with me to my class reunion.

I still want to give you that second hickey that you never got.

I still want you to share Christmas with me.

I still want you to see how kicking me to the curb was the biggest mistake you made.

And finally I want you to know that after years of searching for my princess charming that I found her and she is you.

(Sings Nobody Knows by the tony rich project)

I’ll do anything and everything to win your heart back.

This confession is the first baby step don’t reply right away I want you to think on it before you reply.

Look I know your hurting something very fierce but I still want us to be friends at least give me that.

And you’re probably thinking "F**k this I don’t wanna be friends with him" but you wanna know the rest of the baby steps and I’m gonna tell you them.

The second baby step comes at the class reunion if you wanna go still I can get us a ride I just gotta make a call and see if my friend can ride us there and back.

But you don’t wanna then forget it.

The third baby step is at christmas time I’ll have a gift for you I’ll have a friend of mine bring me up so I can give it to you but if you don’t want it then nevermind.

The fourth baby step comes on your birthday and that’ll be personal.

And the fifth baby step is actually two things one is a graduation present and the other is a text.

Ya I know it’s corny and retarded but if it works out hopefully this will bring us closer.

But it’s like I said before I’m defiant, hellbent, and very headstrong but I’m patient about it.

(Sings Truly Madly Deeply by savage garden)

This is who I am

Mind of an ancient.

Voice of an angel.

Heart of the first lover.

I’m deeply sorry I talked to aubrie twice but I knew if I tried to talk to you directly you’d hang up.

Please Morgan give me a second chance at least give me that much.

Now I have a few requests to ask of you.

First is the gun ya groan, scoff, pout about it but I was watching tv the other day and on the news they said if you turn in a gun you get like 50 bucks or so for it depending on what it is so if you turn it in you’d get gas money or pocket money.

Think about it cause I don’t wanna have to come visit you in a psych ward.

Besides then you can’t finish your career as an EMT and you know how proud I am to have an EMT for a girlfriend.

That and the fact that I’m much more hotter when we cuddle which is much more better than a bullet to the head.

So please babe don’t pull the trigger I’m not worth dying over trust me I know this it’s not worth it.

I wantsen see you in that denim skirt must see you in that skirt after all you know sexy I find you.

And that skirt would bring out your eyes so much more.

I will quit smoking for you if you get rid of the gun and give me a second chance.

Just please give this some thought but like I said don’t rush to reply right away let it all sink in G.L. don’t let Parallax take over forever because believe it or not I still love you and need you to heal my gaping wound over my heart.

And finally I want you to read my latest poem To Ode on writerscafe.org under my poet name Immortal Beloved.

Oooo and remind me what it means when your eyes turn green because my desktop pic of you and this is no joke at all true s**t your eyes went from blue/grey to straight up green I kid you not and dumb me I forgot what that means goes to show what a stupid boyfriend I am.

And if you want me to I’ll call your cell when the siren goes off because it’s cute how excited you get when it goes off.

Just think it over and let me know where you wanna go from here.

I miss you my Green Lantern.

And if I’m absolutely wrong about this then you gets another free punch is your cell wallpaper still of us kissing?

Till then

love your goober.

 

© 2009 Immortal Beloved


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Added on September 15, 2009

Author

Immortal Beloved
Immortal Beloved

Manchester, MD



About
My heroes are males and females who report that they were raped no matter how long ago it was you are my true heroes no matter what people say YOU guys are the true heroes!!! and you got my respect 10.. more..

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